28 November, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

DAN SCHMIDT

Ahead of tonight’s opening State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked) game tonight, the entire South Australian rugby fan population of 17 people have gone nuts.

Reportedly, it will be the first time a Rugby Origin game has been played in South Australia, and not since the disappointment and confusion of what were the Adelaide Rams and Super League has the state shown such interest in this incredibly boring sport.

Pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled. Ball possession changes. Repeat this for 80 minutes in a mostly empty stadium

As most of the South Australian population are unaware of the concept of this thing called rugby, Adelaide Mail reporters have spent the last two days researching what will happen at this historic match. After watching several rugby matches, here is our summary for those unaware: Pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled, pass ball, get tackled. Ball possession changes. Repeat this for 80 minutes in a mostly empty stadium. Final score will be 12-10 or something, and there you have rugby.

With South Australia’s entire rubgy fanbase made up of 7 ex-Sydneysiders, 4 ex-Queenslanders, 3 old british guys, a South African lady on holiday, some random guy from Cockburn and his 4 year old son, questions are being raised as to how hosting this event at Adelaide oval will be held to a “crowd”, “generate $15 million to the local economy” and be “very exciting”, all wild promises made by the Premier.

Plans are currently being made to dye the Port Power tarps Maroon, just in case.

For the time being though, the small SA rugby fan community is rejoicing in today, as it probably will be a better atmosphere than a Sydney rugby game because people in Adelaide actually go out to attend sporting events (unless it’s a Power home game).

in News, Sport
Related Posts

Far-Ken Hall! Adelaide’s biggest plumber goes rural

2 October, 2019

2 October, 2019

Adelaide’s biggest plumbing business, Ken Hall Plumbers is expanding its operations across rural South Australia. Marketing manager for Ken Hall...

Vincent Rinaldo very disappointed by this so called ‘Fringe’ Festival

22 February, 2019

22 February, 2019

One of Adelaide’s leading hair and fashion icons, Vincent Rinaldo, has left a scathing review the opening week of the...

Nobody really sure if the Red Tins thing is sarcastic or not

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

From twenty-somethings happily sharing the same beer with their fathers to bar owners happily off-loading their surplus of West End...

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

5 March, 2020

5 March, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day...

Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

18 April, 2019

18 April, 2019

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a...

Woman updates LinkedIn profile to include climbing Big Rocking Horse certificate

23 January, 2019

23 January, 2019

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Melanie Yearling of Birdwood doing whatever she can to enhance her LinkedIn profile for...

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Ardrossan jetty regulars can spot these city slickers a mile away

13 January, 2020

13 January, 2020

When Goodwood couple Kate and Darren Bovril decided they fancied a nice, peaceful day catching some crabs, they were convinced...

South Aussies to ask ‘Keeping Cool?’ a record 47 billion times today

20 November, 2019

20 November, 2019

With Adelaide bracing for its hottest day since March, Adelaideans are readying themselves for an onslaught of inquisitiveness about the...

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

14 October, 2018

14 October, 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop...

Power fan with ‘Est. 1870’ tattoo tells Crows fan to ‘stop living in past’

5 April, 2019

5 April, 2019

Albert Tonne is one of those ‘passionate’ Port Power fans, he attends most Power home games (unless it’s a little cloudy or...

Entire city somehow surprised by annual road closures again

26 February, 2019

26 February, 2019

Despite a predictable schedule of annual road closures preceded by road signs forewarning motorists weeks in advance, the entire population...

Dover Gardens man with a cold ends up in taxi to Novar Gardens

14 October, 2019

14 October, 2019

After leaving after-work Friday drinks in the city early because they were feeling a little under the weather, Al Lurgey...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

Calm down Jessica, it’s Lofty, not Everest

21 December, 2018

21 December, 2018

With a backpack full of rations, emergency supplies, and flares, Jessica Peak is fully equipped for her 3.9km Waterfall Gully to Mount...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: