23 October, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Protesters storm Tea Tree Plaza Caffe Primo demanding return of $9.90 meals

DAN SCHMIDT

Thousands of South Australian patriots have shown up at Caffe Primo to demand the return of the $9.90 meal special, leading to levels of violence and unruly behaviour that have not been seen at Tea Tree Plaza since last Thursday night.

The majority of the mob have been heavily influenced by an overwhelming amount of unfounded conspiracy theories posted on 4Chan and a certain Tea Tree Gully Facebook group, falsely stating that a group of angered idiots can somehow overthrow a casual dining establishment.

Armed with placards proudly displaying “MAGA” (Make Affordable Gnocchi Again), the protesters stormed the restaurant in an obviously misguided attempt to lower the prices.

Make Affordable Gnocchi Again

Adelaide Mail reporters were on the scene to talk with some of the uneducated masses.

‘We’re demanding our rights as South Australians!’ said protester Britty Gooday ‘We’re enlightened, we’re educated, I went to the University of YouTube, and we’re not just going to let the establishment dictate what we’re supposed to pay!’

‘For $9.90 I used to get a burger, chips and a free pancake that I would never eat but always demand anyway. Sure that was over a decade ago, but because I personally disagree with the current situation it obviously makes it deeply wrong and there are people in power conspiring against me’.

After the caffe coup had failed to overthrow the restaurant because all the tables were already booked, the mob moved to Modbury Triangle where they demanded the return of Bi-Lo. Unfortunately, there was nobody there to listen. As always.

Related Posts

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Premier calls press conference just to ask “why would anybody want to go to Victoria?”

16 November, 2020

16 November, 2020

Premier Steven Marshall has called a press conference just hours before learning about a growing cluster of COVID-19 cases in...

Adelaide Mail’s top 10 Adelaide 36ers of all time

6 May, 2020

6 May, 2020

Here we are again, another list. We’re just as happy about it as you, okay? Nobody wants to read lists...

Annoying guy in office being sent to Victoria on ‘Special Assignment’ at 3:20 Tuesday

22 March, 2020

22 March, 2020

Following this morning’s ‘emergency meeting’ of the Management, Leadership and Everybody Except Jason Team, the office’s most annoying staff, Jason,...

Nuff: We interviewed this garden gnome wearing a POWER shirt and he couldn’t even name their captain

5 February, 2020

5 February, 2020

Somewhere in the backstreets of Glanville sits a cocky garden gnome claiming allegiance to the POWER. Within a manicured low-maintenance...

90% of new Mortal Kombat movie just CCTV footage from Hindley Street

16 May, 2019

16 May, 2019

Adelaide is set to become a key piece of cinematic history, with the long-awaited follow-up to 1995’s Mortal Kombat to...

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

Police QR code blitz enabling that one high school mate to go full Pete Evans-mode on Facebook

17 May, 2021

17 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT When South Australian Police stopped Con Spiros just inside the door of Adelaide’s classiest venue, the Skycity Casino,...

Royal Adelaide Show Cancelled: Who will judge Nan’s knitted Golliwogs now?

14 April, 2020

14 April, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT News has broken that the Royal Adelaide Show has been cancelled for the fifth time in history. Previously...

Local Dad refuses Astrazeneca because he’s heard Astras have a bad name

13 August, 2021

13 August, 2021

54 year old Cam Mirra of Elizabeth has told his adult children that despite being eligible, he won’t get the...

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Mr. Bankrupt gets 200th consecutive daily COVID test after waking up with a sore throat again

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The once successful ever-failing businessman Mr. Bankrupt has once again gone to a COVID-19 testing site after waking up with...

We take a look back at ‘Crow Milk’ and the diabetes epidemic it caused

2 December, 2019

2 December, 2019

In the wake of current local flavoured milk wars, let’s take a moment to remember a simpler time in South...

Misguided Get This tribute lands nerds in middle of Veale Gardens beat

4 July, 2019

4 July, 2019

An ill-advised tribute tour of every landmark referenced in cult Triple M radio show Get This has ended in the...

Ingenious Toolie crudely changes 13 to 18 on his Year 12 jumper

25 November, 2018

25 November, 2018

In a surprisingly genius move, particularly from a Modbury High graduate, 23 year old Sam ‘Zombie’ Zommers has pulled off...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: