12 May, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Entire city collectively forgets how to drive

DAN SCHMIDT

With the unprecedented event of what is scientifically known as “water falling from the sky”, Adelaide motorists have evidently just completely forgotten how to drive all together this morning.

Although the so called ‘skills’ of Adelaide motorists have every been anything to admire, it seems that a small amount of clear liquid on Adelaide streets is enough to entirely erode all sense of spacing, velocity and even common knowledge.

Adelaide Mail reporters interviewed an average South Australian driver, Moe Trist, along his commute.

‘It’s very strange, usually I’m almost capable of getting myself to where I need to be, but this morning for some reason I just didn’t know what to do’ said Moe.

‘Once I finally figured out how to get the thing started and down the street, I just had to stop there for no apparent reason. Then I finally managed to get on the freeway and just decided I’d go 40 k’s under the speed limit in the right lane, which is almost 20 k’s slower than what I usually do’.

‘Anyway, I’m running late, and must be off’ concluded Moe as he started reversing up the wrong side of Glen Osmond Road.

Related Posts

Advertiser journo finds yet another excuse to put OnlyFans subscription on corporate credit card

23 September, 2025

23 September, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT Satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, has broken new ground in investigative journalism, this time by finding new ways to...

Suburb of Paradise hit with false claims lawsuit

15 January, 2019

15 January, 2019

The north-eastern suburb of Paradise has found itself in legal trouble with a class action lawsuit being filed by thousands...

Peter Van’s to close; Advertiser wonders how many more times it can use phrase “Party’s over”

24 January, 2020

24 January, 2020

As news emerged that Adelaide’s resident Party Man, Peter Van will be ceasing all partying come March, subeditors at satirical...

Modbury man and Brighton woman begin long-distance relationship

3 May, 2019

3 May, 2019

Finding love isn’t always easy, but a couple from opposite sides of the city are trying to defy all odds...

Even 1079 Life FM hosts cringe at some of the Christian songs they have to play

6 March, 2022

6 March, 2022

Adelaide’s family friendly easy-listening radio station has long been known for the playing the latest inoffensive pop tunes, subtle messaging,...

Cyberbullying teens never okay…unless it’s Caleb Bond and it’s really funny

18 March, 2019

18 March, 2019

Cyberbullying is a cowardly act, which can be particularly harmful when aimed at teens. However, in the wake of anti-bullying...

Not again! Another group falls victim to The Grove/The Village pub mix-up

5 November, 2024

5 November, 2024

An occurrence nearly as common as a car on the O-Bahn has happened once again, with a group of friends...

Fresh from Vegas warm-up show, U2 set to perform out the front of that Rundle Lantern thing

2 October, 2023

2 October, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT Following on from a Las Vegas warm-up show, Irish “rockers” U2 have landed in Adelaide for their showpiece...

Adelaide Crows reveal new Showdown guernsey

9 April, 2021

9 April, 2021

With the next Showdown announced to take place in round 8, the Adelaide Crows have revealed a new strip that...

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

New real time fuel app helps motorists find cheapest petrol by simply eliminating OTR servos

14 May, 2021

14 May, 2021

The new RAA real-time fuel app provides South Australian motorists with current information about where to find the cheapest nearby...

16-39 year olds eligible for vaccine haven’t been this excited about Shotz since 2008

12 August, 2021

12 August, 2021

With news breaking that all people aged 16 to 39 in SA will be eligible to book a Pfizer vaccine...

Shocked South Road business owners have property acquired after only 53 years notice

8 July, 2021

8 July, 2021

TY INNANE A number of businesses told they’ll be acquired for the north-south corridor project expressed dismay and disbelief today....

Superloop gives up, starts referring to itself as ‘Clipsal’

21 February, 2019

21 February, 2019

Before the first Superloop 500 event has even started, the company behind the naming rights has reportedly already given up...

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading