25 May, 2022

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns over 400 pairs of shorts each more dazzling and revealing than the last.

He’s also the only person in South Australia who doesn’t need a driver’s license to drive, instead dancing in response to any license check, confounding police officers with his trademark mystifying dance moves.

And, if you’re a South Australian citizen, you’re legally entitled to your very own portrait of him.

The provision of the Johnny portrait program is provided for in a little-known and antiquated piece of legislation called the “Haysman Portraiture Act (1927)”, although those in the know simply call it “the Johnny law”.

The legislation outlines that ‘upon requesting its provision, South Australians should be furnished with a 210x297mm painting or photograph of HRH John Haysman’.

Although the existence of such a law is a curious anomaly today, at the time of its writing, citizens did not have the option to conduct a Google Image search of the legendary South Australian.

Back then, keen Johnny enthusiasts were forced to contend with far more rudimentary search engines like AltaVista and Dogpile. Even more curious is the reference to the metric system of measurement, a pipe dream in 1927.

Even more prophetic is the reference to Haysman himself, who would not be born until several decades later. Although they wrote laws for all kinds of crazy things back then.

in News
Related Posts

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

22 May, 2019

22 May, 2019

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le...

City of Unley removes controversial Will Smith from Cross Road window

4 April, 2022

4 April, 2022

MAN IN BLACK: After news breaking of the now embattled Will Smith resigning from the Academy, the City of Unley...

Local numpty goes to new Royal Adelaide Hospital just to have a look around

9 July, 2018

9 July, 2018

Despite having no current health issues, John Duffle of Windsor Gardens has made his fourth trip to the new Royal...

Ridgehaven Hungry Jack’s bushes heritage listed

22 February, 2021

22 February, 2021

Finally joining the likes of South Australian icons such as Popeye and Wayne Weidemann’s Mullet, the row of street facing...

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

Protesters storm Tea Tree Plaza Caffe Primo demanding return of $9.90 meals

8 January, 2021

8 January, 2021

Thousands of South Australian patriots have shown up at Caffe Primo to demand the return of the $9.90 meal special,...

Big Red Car mag wheels stolen at Elizabeth City Centre

31 October, 2018

31 October, 2018

Disappointed children and slightly relieved parents have arrived at Elizabeth Shopping Centre to find the multi-coloured mag wheels stolen from...

Bloke in bucket hat heads straight to Maslins bushes for some reason

8 November, 2019

8 November, 2019

A Gawler man has confounded onlookers upon his arrival at Adelaide’s Maslin Beach, appearing wearing a bucket hat, long pants...

Unique SA strain of virus now being found in Victoria

15 March, 2020

15 March, 2020

DIRK SPUD In worrying signs that we may be reaching a point of no return when it comes to its...

Due to COVID-19 restrictions, Christmas Pageant postponed until at least September

16 June, 2020

16 June, 2020

It gets earlier every year, unless it doesn't.

Adelaide Crows reveal new Showdown guernsey

9 April, 2021

9 April, 2021

With the next Showdown announced to take place in round 8, the Adelaide Crows have revealed a new strip that...

OTR owners on-track to own literally everything ever created

23 October, 2018

23 October, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have doubled down on their bid to stage a hostile takeover of all...

Norwood cafe Argo to begin taking bookings for those who just want to line up

24 October, 2018

24 October, 2018

In a move described by industry experts as ‘revolutionary’, the popular eastern suburbs brunch spot Argo is to begin taking...

(BOT ARTICLE) O-Bahn takes Caleb Bond to Chidda for Iced Coffee drink

14 December, 2020

14 December, 2020

NOTE: It’s the end of the year and we’re running out of ideas. So we decided to put every Adelaide...

Report: Albert Bensimon actually enjoyed a little bit of hoo-ha

19 December, 2018

19 December, 2018

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite his self-anointed reputation as a serious, no-nonsense jewellery magnate, the Adelaide Mail can finally reveal that Albert...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: