2 March, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours frog cakes per week.

The sickeningly sweet sponge cake/fondant “treats” are seen as a symbol of the South Australian aristocracy known for their lavish decadence and prohibitively expensive price.

I just want to give my son the best chance to succeed in life, if that means paying for him to chow down on some green fondant and shelf-stable cream every couple of days, then so be it

For Kenwald Cornwald the cost of paying for his son’s frog cake addiction is a small sacrifice for the hope of moving up society’s rungs.

‘Life is all about keeping up appearances and exhibiting an impression of wealth’, says Cornwald. ‘I had the choice between paying for a private school education or continuing to fund Jedwald’s frog cake addiction, I thought that he would be seen as a far more successful person if people spotted him eating frog cakes, so the choice was easy’.

‘I just want to give my son the best chance to succeed in life, if that means paying for him to chow down on some green fondant and shelf-stable cream every couple of days, then so be it. Also, do you happen to know if insulin is covered by Medicare?’

To hear the hilarious history of Balfours and the Frog Cake, listen to this episode of the AdeLOL podcast:

Related Posts

ShitAdelaide changes name to MAFSadelaide

8 April, 2019

8 April, 2019

Originally a source of general ridicule at the expense of Adelaide’s drunk and poor, the mysterious owners behind Instagram account...

Call Eshay Quality Home Improvements if you wanna get knocked down brah

15 February, 2021

15 February, 2021

With South Australia’s other satirical news website exposing the existence of a “new” youth subculture which is well over a...

Kid who asked for “Leggo” getting a jar of pasta sauce from South Aussie Santa

10 November, 2020

10 November, 2020

As November begins it means that our department stores and suburban shops are soon to be filled with Santas (actually,...

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

22 December, 2019

22 December, 2019

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of...

Karen no longer knows how to threaten local businesses without Today Tonight

27 November, 2019

27 November, 2019

LET ME SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!: This morning as Clarence Gardens facebook-mum of two Karen Decrows, 43, set off for...

Outrage as advertising projected on to Adelaide’s most famous cultural landmark

9 October, 2018

9 October, 2018

The iconic brick façade of Adelaide’s West End Brewery will be used to advertise a party supplies shop after SA premier Stephen...

Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre will abolish Pike Position

12 December, 2019

12 December, 2019

With the Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre HQ looking to go ahead sometime in the near future because they’re the Crows...

Next 8 hours of office chat reserved for ‘that weather last night’

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

When the most interesting thing to happen to the typical office employee between the hours of 5pm and 9am is...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

Most psychological problems in SA’s millennials able to be traced back to one TV show

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT New research has revealed the vast majority of South Australian under-40s’ psychological issues can be traced back to...

Melbourne man visits Adelaide just to complain about shop trading hours

12 January, 2019

12 January, 2019

Gouland Hambitter and his family moved to Melbourne from Adelaide when he was eight-years-old. His father had taken up a...

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

Advertiser’s top 100 restaurant list just Barnacle Bill 100 times

16 October, 2019

16 October, 2019

Usually the number one source of fish and chip paper itself, our State’s leading satirical newspaper The Advertiser has surprised...

New “Farmers Onion” Iced Coffee flavour only popular with one man

29 October, 2019

29 October, 2019

In a bold new move by South Australia’s highest selling beverage company, the new Farmer’s Union, “Farmer’s Onion” Iced Coffee...

Now a North Adelaide Resident, Djokovic makes noise complaint at 7pm on Friday

23 January, 2021

23 January, 2021

Whilst world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic has been in quarantine in North Adelaide, he has become accustomed to...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: