9 April, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours frog cakes per week.

The sickeningly sweet sponge cake/fondant “treats” are seen as a symbol of the South Australian aristocracy known for their lavish decadence and prohibitively expensive price.

I just want to give my son the best chance to succeed in life, if that means paying for him to chow down on some green fondant and shelf-stable cream every couple of days, then so be it

For Kenwald Cornwald the cost of paying for his son’s frog cake addiction is a small sacrifice for the hope of moving up society’s rungs.

‘Life is all about keeping up appearances and exhibiting an impression of wealth’, says Cornwald. ‘I had the choice between paying for a private school education or continuing to fund Jedwald’s frog cake addiction, I thought that he would be seen as a far more successful person if people spotted him eating frog cakes, so the choice was easy’.

‘I just want to give my son the best chance to succeed in life, if that means paying for him to chow down on some green fondant and shelf-stable cream every couple of days, then so be it. Also, do you happen to know if insulin is covered by Medicare?’

To hear the hilarious history of Balfours and the Frog Cake, listen to this episode of the AdeLOL podcast:

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