4 February, 2023

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours frog cakes per week.

The sickeningly sweet sponge cake/fondant “treats” are seen as a symbol of the South Australian aristocracy known for their lavish decadence and prohibitively expensive price.

I just want to give my son the best chance to succeed in life, if that means paying for him to chow down on some green fondant and shelf-stable cream every couple of days, then so be it

For Kenwald Cornwald the cost of paying for his son’s frog cake addiction is a small sacrifice for the hope of moving up society’s rungs.

‘Life is all about keeping up appearances and exhibiting an impression of wealth’, says Cornwald. ‘I had the choice between paying for a private school education or continuing to fund Jedwald’s frog cake addiction, I thought that he would be seen as a far more successful person if people spotted him eating frog cakes, so the choice was easy’.

‘I just want to give my son the best chance to succeed in life, if that means paying for him to chow down on some green fondant and shelf-stable cream every couple of days, then so be it. Also, do you happen to know if insulin is covered by Medicare?’

To hear the hilarious history of Balfours and the Frog Cake, listen to this episode of the AdeLOL podcast:

Related Posts

Man successfully connects to AdelaideFree wifi network

5 November, 2018

5 November, 2018

In what has been described as a once in a lifetime technological phenomenon, city worker Simon Line has defied astronomical...

Man calling a ‘parmi’ a ‘parma’ rightfully run out of town

21 March, 2019

21 March, 2019

Jolkeep Johnton thought that he was masking his innate Victorian-ness well, he would pronounce the word ‘graph’ with an almost...

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

We rank Adelaide’s best TikTok stars

29 June, 2021

29 June, 2021

Whether they’re annoying shoppers while filming cringey shit in Rundle Mall or thinking their videos actually get that many views,...

“Reality’s hitting home” – Now my shortcut through David Jones to the car park is gone!

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

Everything had been fine up until this point. You know, it’s bad and all that, I’m not trivialising the seriousness...

Farmers Union to launch new milk-based sports energy drink

16 December, 2020

16 December, 2020

"The curdle helps you clear the hurdles"

Cosi reveals that he actually secretly fucking hates South Australia

13 October, 2020

13 October, 2020

South Australia’s very own Andrew ‘Cosi ‘South Aussie With Cosi’’ Costello has revealed a little-known fact about himself in a...

State govt regrets choosing papier-mâché option for Darlington upgrade

9 May, 2019

9 May, 2019

With large swathes of load-bearing wall crumbling from the Darlington upgrade of South Road over the last week, questions have...

Rob Lucas madly Googles ‘SA state-owned assets’ after GST writedown

17 December, 2019

17 December, 2019

A $474 million reduction in previously promised Commonwealth grants and GST revenue and has seen State Treasurer Rob Lucas resort...

Guy Sebastian also apologises for tagging Golden Grove Rage Cage in 2001

7 September, 2021

7 September, 2021

GUG SEBASTIAN: Early 2000’s typical North-East hood-rat and former Australian Idol Guy Sebastian has apologised to his Instagram followers for...

10 things you never knew about the Myer Centre

26 April, 2020

26 April, 2020

MATTHEW DEVITT All of this madness at the moment has made us realise what’s really important to us: mostly-empty, multi-level...

New digital Adelaide Metro bus arrival signs to be installed pre-broken

3 October, 2018

3 October, 2018

In an effort to increase efficiency and reduce complaints, Adelaide Metro will be installing their new digital signs at transit...

Goolwa Line Electrified

15 June, 2022

15 June, 2022

Whilst the SteamRanger Cockle Train has always been a reliable mode of public transport for Middleton residents commuting to their...

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: