2 April, 2023

Joe reckons his “Adelaide Fridge Festival” will be just as popular and fun

DAN SCHMIDT

Adelaide Furniture and Electrical mogul, Joe, is hoping to cash in on some second-hand excitement from the Adelaide Fringe Festival just like he does with “lounges, dining, and kitchen stuff”.

In a media release written on the back of an old Panasonic VCR manual and posted to the Adelaide Mail office, Joe states:

“The Adelaide Fridge Festival will be one of the southern hemisphere’s largest gatherings of a diverse and exciting range of used fridges from all over the state to celebrate their low prices.

But please don’t ask me how I keep the prices so low. This is strictly against festival rules.

I swear to God that anyone who even thinks they’re being funny by asking me that will be thrown out of the venue (top of Port Road) and have their festival day pass revoked.

Seriously, everywhere I go some bastard is shouting “Hey Joe!” “Hey Joe!” “Hey Joe?!”, and only very rarely is it in reference to the 1967 Jimi Hendrix single. I’ve had enough to be honest. Not of Hendrix, I mean, but the pricks making fun of my TV ad. Even mocking me by doing the arm movement sometimes. Absolute dogs, I tell ya’.

Congratulations on the purchase of your Panasonic Video Cassette Recorder Model No. PV-4020/PV-4520. Operate only from a power source indicated in this manual or the unit. For your safety please read, retain and follow all operating instructions.

Used properly, this product will bring you and your family years of enjoyment. Please fill in the information below, the serial number is located on the tag on the rear of your VCR. IMPORTANT: Do not block ventilation holes.

Anyway, don’t worry about that last paragraph, back to the 2023 Adelaide Fridge Festival.

Acts will include comedy, you’ll be laughing at how low the prices are. Theatre, which is quite literally a Kenwood Home Theatre system. And also magic, watch on in amazement as all these bargains disappear out the door.

Also, for festival goers looking for a real shock, be sure to visit our Garden of UNEARTHED Delights, which is basically where we keep all the ungrounded electrical goods. It’s buzzing with atmosphere and also hazardous circuits.

This is real festival and not just a plan for me to sell more fridges. Yes, it would be nice if that happens, for sure, but that’s definitely not my goal here. My goal is to contribute to the growing whitegood related arts and culture scene of the state. But I’m not gonna say ‘no’ to people buying any of the fridges, if that’s what you’re thinking. And you better be thinking about that, and NOT thinking about asking me how I keep the prices so low.

Yes, the Adelaide Fridge Festival promises to be just as exciting as the Adelaide Fringe Festival, but with actually far less second-hand and recycled content.”

Our reviewers gave the Adelaide Fridge Festival opening act Four and a Half stars:

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