5 September, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Joe reckons his “Adelaide Fridge Festival” will be just as popular and fun

DAN SCHMIDT

Adelaide Furniture and Electrical mogul, Joe, is hoping to cash in on some second-hand excitement from the Adelaide Fringe Festival just like he does with “lounges, dining, and kitchen stuff”.

In a media release written on the back of an old Panasonic VCR manual and posted to the Adelaide Mail office, Joe states:

“The Adelaide Fridge Festival will be one of the southern hemisphere’s largest gatherings of a diverse and exciting range of used fridges from all over the state to celebrate their low prices.

But please don’t ask me how I keep the prices so low. This is strictly against festival rules.

I swear to God that anyone who even thinks they’re being funny by asking me that will be thrown out of the venue (top of Port Road) and have their festival day pass revoked.

Seriously, everywhere I go some bastard is shouting “Hey Joe!” “Hey Joe!” “Hey Joe?!”, and only very rarely is it in reference to the 1967 Jimi Hendrix single. I’ve had enough to be honest. Not of Hendrix, I mean, but the pricks making fun of my TV ad. Even mocking me by doing the arm movement sometimes. Absolute dogs, I tell ya’.

Congratulations on the purchase of your Panasonic Video Cassette Recorder Model No. PV-4020/PV-4520. Operate only from a power source indicated in this manual or the unit. For your safety please read, retain and follow all operating instructions.

Used properly, this product will bring you and your family years of enjoyment. Please fill in the information below, the serial number is located on the tag on the rear of your VCR. IMPORTANT: Do not block ventilation holes.

Anyway, don’t worry about that last paragraph, back to the 2023 Adelaide Fridge Festival.

Acts will include comedy, you’ll be laughing at how low the prices are. Theatre, which is quite literally a Kenwood Home Theatre system. And also magic, watch on in amazement as all these bargains disappear out the door.

Also, for festival goers looking for a real shock, be sure to visit our Garden of UNEARTHED Delights, which is basically where we keep all the ungrounded electrical goods. It’s buzzing with atmosphere and also hazardous circuits.

This is real festival and not just a plan for me to sell more fridges. Yes, it would be nice if that happens, for sure, but that’s definitely not my goal here. My goal is to contribute to the growing whitegood related arts and culture scene of the state. But I’m not gonna say ‘no’ to people buying any of the fridges, if that’s what you’re thinking. And you better be thinking about that, and NOT thinking about asking me how I keep the prices so low.

Yes, the Adelaide Fridge Festival promises to be just as exciting as the Adelaide Fringe Festival, but with actually far less second-hand and recycled content.”

Our reviewers gave the Adelaide Fridge Festival opening act Four and a Half stars:

Related Posts

Casual Crows fan unsure if he’s supposed to love or hate Tex this week

3 June, 2019

3 June, 2019

With his form flip-flopping since the 2017 AFL Grand Final, Adelaide co-captain Taylor Walker has been the cause of much...

PSA: Victorians reminded to make their highly original jokes about Adelaide before midnight tonight

21 November, 2020

21 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Victorians are being reminded that the opportunity to make their scintillatingly witty observations about the South Australian capital...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Premier announces inquiry into whether AI is any good at chopping down trees

12 August, 2026

12 August, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT Premier Peter Malinauskas has announced a three-million dollar royal commission into AI and how it could be used...

The Queen just found out Elizabeth is named after her and she is fucking pissed

31 May, 2021

31 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT As if her year couldn’t get any worse, Queen Elizabeth II has just learned that the northern Adelaide...

With Splendour cancelled, one infamous SA festival returns to save the music scene

28 March, 2024

28 March, 2024

The cancellation of Splendour In The Grass has left a giant hole in Australia’s festival scene, however one SA music...

Introducing “Dazzaland”! A Darren Jarman themed indoor amusement park

23 June, 2021

23 June, 2021

With the top two floors of the Adelaide Myer Centre only now about half as exciting as they used to...

North Adelaide church site to become new North Adelaide LeCornu site

2 April, 2024

2 April, 2024

Local billionaire Con Makris has acquired the Lutheran Church site in North Adelaide, exploiting a little-known property law. He plans to revive the property with his signature touch, promising ramshackle fencing, inaction, and overgrown weeds. North Adelaide residents can expect his familiar development style at the new location.

Behold! The Garden of Unearthly Awkward Stop and Chats

19 February, 2020

19 February, 2020

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite the highest of expectations, one Gepps Cross man’s foray into the Garden of Unearthly Delights has degenerated...

Man actually chooses to sit in this seat

26 April, 2019

26 April, 2019

With the vast majority of city commuters taking this week off, Kramdin Numpteedu of Klemzig has had his fair share...

Theology states St. Agnes is the Patron Saint of filthy hangovers

8 December, 2020

8 December, 2020

After minutes of research, religious scholars have uncovered that St Agnes is the Patron Saint of absolutely rotten hangovers and...

REVEALED: Infrastructure plans to ease traffic on South Eastern Freeway

6 October, 2021

6 October, 2021

With South Eastern Freeway Traffic continually becoming worse, we at the Adelaide Mail have taken it upon ourselves to solve...

Man plays quick 9 at Holey Moley before last year’s gift card expires

24 December, 2019

24 December, 2019

A Somerton Park man has knocked off work early in a frantic rush to get to novelty mini golf course...

“It’s a myth that everyone from Adelaide knows each other…but yeah, I know Matt”

15 January, 2021

15 January, 2021

A travelling Adelaide worker has once again reinforced the the myth that all South Australians happen to know each other...

Australia-US tensions ease as LAPD also shoot Kane Cornes with rubber bullet

11 June, 2025

11 June, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT In a symbolic gesture of reconciliation, the Los Angeles Police Department has reportedly fired a rubber bullet at...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading