25 February, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

“It’s a myth that everyone from Adelaide knows each other…but yeah, I know Matt”

DAN SCHMIDT

A travelling Adelaide worker has once again reinforced the the myth that all South Australians happen to know each other by upholding that exact thing I just wrote.

Whilst doing some work in one of the state’s we’re allowed to travel to at the moment (we were too lazy to look it up) Noah Pearson once again went through the Adelaide small talk with his new co-workers.

‘Oh, you’re from Adelaide?’ said one employee ‘Do you know-‘

‘Actually just because I’m from Adelaide it doesn’t mean I know everyone else there’ interrupted Noah ‘It’s actually just a myth that we all know each other’.

‘Sorry, I just thought you may know my sister’s boyfriend’, continued the coworker ‘All I know his first name is Matt, forgotten his last name’.

‘Tall Matt? Matt Divot? Plays basketball?’ replied Noah with an almost automatic sense of Adelaide intuition.

‘That’s the one! Oh, and her old housemate Hayley, I met her once, she-‘

‘Hayley Bayley? Used to work at the Lady Daly?’ interjected Noah.

‘Oh my god, yes! How about B-‘

‘Bobby Franz? Likes hot ham sandwiches?’ exclaimed Noah instantly.

This reportedly continued for at least 30 minutes until Noah cleared the office halfway through his very loud rendition of the Paint Supplies jingle.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Melbourne man visits Adelaide just to complain about shop trading hours

12 January, 2019

12 January, 2019

Gouland Hambitter and his family moved to Melbourne from Adelaide when he was eight-years-old. His father had taken up a...

Barossa local, who definitely has bigger things to worry about now, is angry you’re saying NuriOOPTA

30 March, 2020

30 March, 2020

Of all the things that a Barossa Valley resident could be getting angry at right now, Larry Hyphen-Colon has chosen...

Victor Harbor opens new Youth Centre for local adolescents aged 55-70

9 July, 2018

9 July, 2018

In an attempt at engaging the region’s younger demographic, Victor Harbor has launched a hip new hangout for residents born...

Election announced: Someone in Mt Barker orders 1,000 novelty cheques

11 April, 2019

11 April, 2019

Following the announcement from acting Prime Minister Scott Morrison that Australians will go to the polls on May 18th, somebody...

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

Man successfully connects to AdelaideFree wifi network

5 November, 2018

5 November, 2018

In what has been described as a once in a lifetime technological phenomenon, city worker Simon Line has defied astronomical...

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

Chunky Custard to be inducted into SA’s Rock n Roll Hall of Lame

11 October, 2018

11 October, 2018

Since the early 90’s, cover band Chunky Custard have been donning the zany wigs, crazy costumes and slightly outdated references....

Westfield vastly overestimating how much people actually want to go to Tea Tree Plaza

5 February, 2021

5 February, 2021

As Westfield Tea Tree Plaza shopping centre plans to enforce paid parking, one thing they haven’t considered is that nobody...

“Can’t heritage list Jack Daniels merch” Fishermen’s Wharf Market told

21 May, 2019

21 May, 2019

With destruction looming for Port Adelaide’s Fisherman’s Wharf Market shed, vendors and Port locals are looking at various creative options...

COMPROMISE FOUND: SA Govt to install new tram that ONLY turns right

20 November, 2018

20 November, 2018

After months of deliberation, studies and costings, Transport Minister Stephan Knoll announced on Sunday that the right-hand turn for trams...

Remaining KI koalas go missing as news of PM’s visit spreads

8 January, 2020

8 January, 2020

As news of the Prime Minister’s visit to Kangaroo Island spreads amongst what remains of Kangaroo Island’s koala community, the...

Don Pyke keen to sign Brodie Grundy to warm the bench in SANFL

27 May, 2019

27 May, 2019

With star Collingwood ruckman Brodie Grundy out of contract at the end of 2020, Adelaide Crows coach Don Pyke is...

Remember when K-Mart was still called Keith-Martyn’s? And only sold Keith Martyn Almanacs?

4 May, 2020

4 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT We’re sure that older readers of Adelaide Mail remember this. In fact, if you do you are probably...

“Never drink Coopers again? I didn’t say that.” says man who definitely said that

3 January, 2019

3 January, 2019

MATTHEW DEVITT In an astonishing reverse of his staunch moral standing, Ascot Park man David Baker has come under scrutiny...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: