8 December, 2022

SHOCK: We found a North Adelaide resident with nothing to complain about

DAN SCHMIDT

Despite living North Adelaide for many years, Jeff Cotstreet has never phoned in a noise complaint, contacted his local member, or even written a letter in blue biro to The Advertiser about any issue whatsoever.

In fact, Jeff is actually quite happy to mind his own business, enjoy his surroundings, and take pleasure from seeing other’s enjoy themselves also. A rather foreign concept for those living between the Torrens and Fitzroy Terrace.

When asked about the LeCornu site development, Jeff replied ‘It looks great! Glad to see something finally being done. With the current housing crisis it will be great to have many new residents able to enjoy the same area that I do’.

When asked about noise levels from nearby O’Connell Street on the weekend, Jeff said ‘That’s all part of living in the city, plus it’s great to have some vibrancy and things to do right near my house. If I wanted peace and quiet, I’d move to the country’.

When asked about the Adelaide Aquatic Centre, Jeff stated ‘It’s a shame it must be demolished, swimming brings such joy and is very important for young children to learn. I wish the community took the opportunity for the football club to pay for a redevelopment at no cost to us’.

When questioned about events at Adelaide Oval, Jeff replied ‘We must really embrace when international artists visit Adelaide, it’s such a rare treat to- Hi, how are you?…I’m just talking to this fake newspaper reporter….Yes, I live just around the corner there on Cambridge…Yeah, it looks fine, much better than just a patch of grass wouldn’t you say?…Wait, stop! Where are you taking me?!’

We had to cut our interview short as Jeff was loaded into the boot of a vintage MG by four portly retirees sporting Gazman jackets and drinker’s noses.

in Life, News
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