29 September, 2023

“My family is from Dublin too!” says man in desperate pickup attempt

DAN SCHMIDT

With Saint Patrick’s Day festivities well underway in Australia, everyone with even the smallest amount of Irish heritage is pretending to like Guinness and The Cranberries, even though Harpers and B*Witched are clearly superior.

However, it seems one local man from the Adelaide Plains region may be taking this to the extreme.

In an attempt to woo a grape-picking backpacker/roadworks sign person/Glenelg barkeep, or whatever it is that young Irish people are doing here these days, Murphy Dropkik is attempting to falsely claiming Celtic lineage purely based on the fact his father grew up just off Port Wakefield Road.

‘Yeah, my family is from Dublin’, Murphy muttered to no response ‘Do you know the P.J. O’Brien’s?…No. Uhhh, let’s see, what else? Ah, I used to have a Dell laptop back in 2009. No? Okay…Oh I know, I’m terrible at managing my finances! How about that?’

Unfortunately, Murphy’s attempts went unnoticed and he was forced to move on as his prospective partner turned the sign to ‘SLOW’.

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