17 January, 2022 South Australia's other fake news source

REVEALED: Infrastructure plans to ease traffic on South Eastern Freeway

DAN SCHMIDT

With South Eastern Freeway Traffic continually becoming worse, we at the Adelaide Mail have taken it upon ourselves to solve this problem once and for all in true Adelaide Mail fashion.

Hills residents continually complain about most things, but the freeway is one of the more frequent things they moan about. So we’re here to try and put an end to that.

Whilst the current freeway seems to get jammed if there is a minor accident, major accident, perceived accident, no accident, fog, rain, sunshine, weekday, night time, someone driving too fast or slow, humidity, animal on road, and a bunch of other reasons, Adelaide Mail’s plan for the freeway is guaranteed not to cause any traffic jams unless a confused elderly person drives onto the tracks.

Best thing is, we’re not even going to charge the Government with coming up with this idea, all we want is the naming rights.

Beginning at Murray Bridge, the “Adelaide Mail South East O-Bahn” will have interchanges at Mt. Barker and Stirling before stretching all the way to the city.

It is envisioned that an express trip with a busload full of passengers Murray Bridge will take less than 40 minutes to reach the city. Murray Bridge residents are calling this “A huge win for Murray Bride” whilst Adelaide residents are stating it is “A huge loss for the metropolitan area”.

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