4 February, 2023

Desperate $5 Fringe show now accepting AfterPay

Photo credit: Abi Skipp

Following several weeks of lower-than-expected ticket sales, the Garden of Unearthly Delights’ cheapest ticketed show — The Garden Freak Show, Featuring The Knife-Juggling Bearded Lady Midget/Trump Impressionist — has introduced payment plan options in an attempt to grow audiences.

Though usually reserved for online clothing retailers, AfterPay allows punters to pay off the cost of their tickets in six, interest-free installments.

This way crowd members who might find the ticket price a bit too steep can choose to pay off the five dollars in six, direct-debited instalments

‘We were finding it really hard to get bums in seats, so it made sense’, says freak show manager and ‘man who breathes through his eyes’ Rudyard von Deville.

‘This way crowd members who might find the ticket price a bit too steep can choose to pay off the five dollars in six, direct-debited instalments. Leaving them more money for Himalayan Salt Lamps, Instagram opportunities in the House of Mirrors and that show where women read books in the nuddy’.

And while von Deville is happy to take just the ticket price from his audience, he has introduced the art of up-selling into his otherwise routine freak show affair.

‘When we spoke to the AfterPay guys they were like “what you’re doing is great but what else could you be tacking on to the checkout process?” So we introduced a premium show for those who don’t want their juggling midgets interrupted by ads for Squarespace every three minutes. That’s twenty dollars’.

‘They also suggested we do an express option, like websites have for express shipping. So we’ve got the express show option where you pay an extra seven dollars and all of the acts perform concurrently at breakneck pace. The entire show is done in 45 seconds’.

‘Then when you leave we offer tickets to see the show again with a 10% discount. Of course, if you don’t buy more tickets we have your email address, so we’ll just email twice a day until we either go broke or you deactivate your email account because it’s become overrun with spam. I mean, technically you could unsubscribe but we all know that you’re way too lazy for that’.

Related Posts

Mum comments “shared 5162” like her 27 Facebook friends cover all of Morphett Vale

2 October, 2020

2 October, 2020

A Morphett Vale Facebook mum has been hailed as a hero after letting people know she has shared a Facebook...

Interstate comedian tries his hand at some groundbreaking Snowtown jokes

17 January, 2020

17 January, 2020

A Victorian comedian whose only knowledge of South Australia comes through Kane Cornes’s Twitter spats, stories from an uncle who...

Adelaide Uni law student disappoints family of doctors

24 April, 2019

24 April, 2019

Sometimes having the best opportunities in life does not necessarily lead to fulfilling every expectation. Few things illuminate this concept...

Woman joins Port Elliot Bakery line now hoping to get lunch for Easter Sunday

31 March, 2021

31 March, 2021

With the traditional Easter Adelaide mass exodus about to begin, the Fleurieu Peninsula will soon be overrun by metropolitan Adelaide’s...

Striking bus drivers knock back initial payrise offer, as employer tries to pay with $50 note

9 January, 2023

9 January, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT Adelaide bus drivers are demanding better pay and better working conditions after a passenger alighted without so much...

Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

18 November, 2020

18 November, 2020

South Australia’s Psychic and Body Odour festival has once again been cancelled due to events that nobody saw coming. This...

OTR revise plans for HQ after helipad complaints; Now it’s just a giant Monty Python foot stomping on the eastern suburbs

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

Our omnipotent overlords at Peregrine Corporation have signalled that they’re ready to negotiate on plans for a new head office...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Move over Mods! This wrestler’s changing his name to Ian Perrie in tribute of the OTHER Crows legend

29 October, 2020

29 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Earlier this week it was revealed that a WWE wrestler had changed his name to that of former...

MPs really confused around sudden interest in their ICA Competition

4 September, 2020

4 September, 2020

South Australian MPs have remained tight lipped around a current ICAC (Indoor Cricket Association Competition) investigation. Not because they have...

People somehow shocked when Liberal govt starts privatising everything

17 May, 2019

17 May, 2019

With the state government looking for novel and opportunistic ways to deliver on pre-election fiscal promises, several key pieces of...

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

False Advertising: New South Road plans shows vehicles actually moving

14 December, 2021

14 December, 2021

With the longstanding South Australian tradition of South Road upgrades looking to continue for at least another three generations, the...

Adelaide Mail’s top 10 Adelaide 36ers of all time

6 May, 2020

6 May, 2020

Here we are again, another list. We’re just as happy about it as you, okay? Nobody wants to read lists...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: