3 February, 2023

4 hour parking limit very optimistic about people’s desire to spend their time at Colonnades

DAN SCHMIDT

One of Adelaide’s southern suburbs shopping and smoking centres has come under scrutiny around its imposed parking limit times.

Colonnades shopping centre, home of a soon to be closed Rivers store and far too many Employment Services Providers, has imposed a 4 hour parking limit, when in reality nobody would ever want to voluntarily spend this amount of time at the centre.

Look, we all know the deal with Colonnades. You don’t go unless you have to, get in, avoid eye contact at all costs, get out, return to your keyed car, text your loved ones saying you’re safe, all done as quickly as possible.

Nobody wants to be there for 4 hours. Hell, nobody wants to be there for 4 minutes. The only time when people spend more time at the centre than is absolutely necessary is when they’re walking by the K-Mart entrance just that little bit slower to hear the rest of some bogan’s really loud phone conversation where he’s threatening to smash someone.

In reality, the parking limit at Colonnades should be until your car is stolen. Which, during peak times of the year, can be considerably less than 4 hours.

Related Posts

Vista local resigned to the fact it’s just easier to say they’re from Tea Tree Gully

29 October, 2018

29 October, 2018

‘Vista? Do you mean Para Vista?’ is the age old question that Britney Nicholls has heard time and time again...

These 6 gifs of Keith Martyn are such 2020 mood vibes

29 October, 2020

29 October, 2020

In a genius effort to gain readership from both the gen z and boomer markets, we here at Adelaide Mail...

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

1 July, 2019

1 July, 2019

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

Pandemic revealed to be just another classic gotcha call that got out-of-hand

17 May, 2020

17 May, 2020

Everybody loves a prank, right? From children on YouTube staging murders to brands pretending that they’re selling a new product...

Adelaide Fashion Festival just showcasing whatever is on sale at Harris Scarfe

20 October, 2018

20 October, 2018

The State’s leading fashion event is currently underway in Adelaide, with designers, runway models, socialites, and critics flying in from...

Campbelltown man installs sprinklers to water concrete while he’s on holiday

12 July, 2018

12 July, 2018

A Campbelltown man has installed a state-of-the-art, new sprinkler system to continue a strict routine of concrete watering over his...

Stupid Klemzig resident gets on express bus again

1 October, 2019

1 October, 2019

For the fourth time in as many weeks, Branden Burg of Klemzig has once again managed to find himself on...

New RAH carpark awarded Adelaide’s most challenging escape room

18 January, 2019

18 January, 2019

Escape rooms have rapidly become all the rage with teenagers, lame corporate offices, and small groups of weird tight-knit friends...

How many of these top 10 ultimate 90’s Adelaide moments do you remember?

13 August, 2020

13 August, 2020

NOT CLICKBAIT! The top 10 90's Adelaide moments.

Frewville Foodland security guard not really sure why he’s there either

6 July, 2018

6 July, 2018

Seven years since taking up the role, Derek Hughes has yet to chase, apprehend, or even caution a suspect person...

REVEALED: Chicken Chef actually only qualified as a Kitchenhand

4 November, 2019

4 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Outrage as advertising projected on to Adelaide’s most famous cultural landmark

9 October, 2018

9 October, 2018

The iconic brick façade of Adelaide’s West End Brewery will be used to advertise a party supplies shop after SA premier Stephen...

Calm down Jessica, it’s Lofty, not Everest

21 December, 2018

21 December, 2018

With a backpack full of rations, emergency supplies, and flares, Jessica Peak is fully equipped for her 3.9km Waterfall Gully to Mount...

You can still take the kids to Puzzle Park this school holidays, it’s now somehow safer

8 July, 2020

8 July, 2020

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: