2 December, 2023

Two die, one completes entire med degree queuing at Pt Elliot bakery

For the third time in as many years, wait times at a popular bakery in south coast retirement village Port Elliot have been held responsible for multiple deaths along with an unusual academic achievement.

Entire villages have begun to form along the Port Elliot main drag, with some communities now into their second generation of waiting for a pepper-steak pie and chocolate donut.

“Son, you must secure the last steak and mushroom pie. Do not let my life be lived in vain”

Sadly, it has also now been confirmed that two men have died while lining up, Gilbert Goodings told Adelaide Mail that his father’s last words revealed a man who had become entirely focussed on one goal.

‘He looked at me as he was taking his last breath’, says Goodings. ‘He said “son, you must secure the last steak and mushroom pie. Do not let my life be lived in vain”’.

‘I mean I’ve known no different, I’ve been here since I was three years old, I’m not leaving this line anytime soon. I am waiting here until…wait, no. No I haven’t left the line, I was just talking to this reporter…I don’t know where he’s from, The Adelaide something or other, I think they think they’re Betoota…well, no, it doesn’t seem funny at all, actually. Just seems like they had an idea and then didn’t really know what to do with it…, they didn’t even mention the guy who completed his medicine degree in the line, talk about burying the lede’.

Goodings returned to the back of the line, which is now somewhere along the Coorong.

Credit for the headline idea goes to Ryley Smithson, follow him on Twitter @RyleySmithson

Related Posts

South Australia officially changing State slogan to “So what High School did you go to?”

17 September, 2018

17 September, 2018

Since discontinuing “The Festival State”, the South Australian Slogan Association (SASA) has decided on a new official state slogan after...

(BOT ARTICLE) O-Bahn takes Caleb Bond to Chidda for Iced Coffee drink

14 December, 2020

14 December, 2020

NOTE: It’s the end of the year and we’re running out of ideas. So we decided to put every Adelaide...

Next season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ to actually be set in Adelaide’s premier suburb of Paradise

24 August, 2018

24 August, 2018

Due to excessive helicopter use and a vast majority of the budget being spent on Osher’s hair, Channel 10 executives have...

Elon Musk buys AdelaideFree Wifi for thirty bucks and a carton of West End

28 April, 2022

28 April, 2022

After buying Twitter earlier this week for over 60 billion dollars, Tesla CEO and apartheid mining heir Elon Musk has...

Local wheelie bin maintains and confirms SAFM still rocks Banksia Park

21 June, 2021

21 June, 2021 1

Decades after the heyday of the SAFM Black Thunders gracing suburban Adelaide streets handing out icy-cold cans of expired cola,...

Walkerville to be renamed Eddiebettsville

18 August, 2021

18 August, 2021

Despite being neither walkable or anything to do with the disgraced Taylor Walker, the suburb of Walkerville is to be...

Local woman caught lustfully gazing at Hindmarsh Square tree again

29 September, 2023

29 September, 2023

A local MILF in your area who wants to meet you but you never click on the popups has once...

People somehow shocked when Liberal govt starts privatising everything

17 May, 2019

17 May, 2019

With the state government looking for novel and opportunistic ways to deliver on pre-election fiscal promises, several key pieces of...

In hindsight, 16-page full-colour catalogues delivered to every SA house every 3 days probably wasn’t great for business

16 December, 2019

16 December, 2019

With the news breaking that iconic South Australian department store Harris Scarfe has been placed into voluntary administration, operators are...

Fullarton Road servo sells out of these sunnies for some reason

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In what has been described by economists as an unpredicted and alarming spike in demand, a Fullarton Road service station...

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

4 November, 2020

4 November, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT Ahead of tonight’s opening State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked) game tonight, the...

“Ignore all the references to northern NSW, “Flame Trees” is definitely about Elizabeth”

26 November, 2020

26 November, 2020

Ask any true-blue northern suburbs local about Aussie rock and they’ll tell you a thing or two about a thing...

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Adelaide Northern Outer Metro picks the WORST week to launch new app

10 June, 2021

10 June, 2021

A smaller branch of the wider Adelaide Metro network, Adelaide Northern Outer Metro (ANOM), unfortunately chose to launch their new...

Comments

Leave a Reply