30 July, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

In hindsight, 16-page full-colour catalogues delivered to every SA house every 3 days probably wasn’t great for business

With the news breaking that iconic South Australian department store Harris Scarfe has been placed into voluntary administration, operators are wondering how it could have possibly gone wrong.

Adelaide Mail spoke with Department-Store Economics expert and full-time Harris Scarfe entrance welcomer, Don VanHeusen who stated ‘Welcome to Harris Sca- oh, it’s you guys….Yeah, I’m good to talk now….No, here is fine’.

If you can find me a better way of advertising that Hushpuppies and Dunlopillos are up to 60% off than a full-colour high-quality glossy 16-page catalogue, delivered to every single South Australian letterbox several times a week, then I’d like to hear it

Van Heusen continued ‘Yes, completely blindsided, no idea where this has come from. For one, our products are always drastically reduced, which is probably great for our profit margins. Two, our marketing methods are super cost effective and had a really wide reach. I mean, if you can find me a better way of advertising that Hushpuppies and Dunlopillos are up to 60% off than a full-colour high-quality glossy 16-page catalogue, delivered to every single South Australian letterbox several times a week, then I’d like to hear it. Three, our main store is spread over multiple levels, in a new building, in the most expensive part of the Adelaide CBD. So yeah, it definitely comes as a bit of a surprise’.

Harris Scarfe reportedly will continue trading through the Christmas period, and we are reminding South Australians to support this local business where possible.

Rest assured that you can still get that last-minute, no-thought, kitchenware gift for that weird relative you got in the Kris Kringle. Probably just get a nice looking serving platter or something, can’t really go wrong with that.

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