22 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Royal Adelaide Show Cancelled: Who will judge Nan’s knitted Golliwogs now?

DAN SCHMIDT

News has broken that the Royal Adelaide Show has been cancelled for the fifth time in history. Previously only cancelled for World Wars, The Spanish Flu pandemic and the great Fubu apparel shortage of 2002, the Royal Adelaide Show is a must for any Bertie Beetle connoisseur or parent wanting to burn their hard earned money.

Whilst most agreeing this safety precaution is completely necessary, one South Australian resident is not happy. Victor Harbor resident Elle Durley makes the pilgrimage to Adelaide each year for the Royal Adelaide Show to enter her knitted Golliwog dolls in the “Best Intolerant Handicraft” competition, and is deeply upset by the Show’s cancellation.

Being told I won’t be able to showcase them this year feels like I am being discriminated against

‘I’m deeply upset by the Show’s cancellation, you can include that in my quote so you don’t have to repeat it in the opening lines of the article if you wish’ stated Elle Durley ‘First they cancel the AFL, so all my knitted Adelaide Crows gear has gone to waste, and now this! I spend a lot of time knitting these dolls, so being told I won’t be able to showcase them this year feels like I am being discriminated against’.

‘I love making these Golliwogs. What with their black faces, big googly eyes, frizzy hair and giant lips and all. It brings a smile to every white child’s face and also to their parents who are too polite to say anything else. So it will be a real shame to not display them this year’.

When asked if she felt the Golliwog dolls could be deemed as racist in any way, Elle replied ‘Certainly not! They’re just cute little dolls depicting accentuated stereotypical caricature traits of a certain type of people. And just because those from the race they depict say it’s offensive, that doesn’t mean it is. It’s all that bloody left-wing ABC news people listen to nowadays, people are just overly sensitive to overt xenophobia. PC gone mad and all that’.

‘I for one am not racist at all, I’ve had many coloured servants working for me in my time. Plus I’m a big fan of black entertainers like Al Jolson and Wiz Khalifa’.

Related Posts

Hindley Street to become 100% shisha bars by 2020, study reveals

17 January, 2019

17 January, 2019

New research into economic trends in Adelaide’s west end reveals that the city’s most famous nightstrip is heading towards wall-to-wall...

Salisbury mum returns to OTR to buy carton of ciggies with wheelbarrow full of shrapnel

5 January, 2019

5 January, 2019

After reportedly being denied being able to buy milk and bread with a few fifty cents pieces, the single mother...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

New “DogKeeper” package grants people $10,000 in Dogs Dollars for rent or Smirnoff Double Blacks

27 July, 2020

27 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As South Australia grapples with the ongoing economic impact of COVID-19, the Federal Government has moved to stimulate...

“South Boy” reckons Christies is heaps rougher than Smithfield

25 February, 2020

25 February, 2020 1

Despite never having travelled north of Prospect, Witton Huntfield of Christies Beach firmly believes that Adelaide’s southern suburbs are far...

Single bloke on Kangaroo Island killing it on Tinder this week

1 November, 2018

1 November, 2018

What a week it has been for Steve Bachelor, 34, of Kangaroo Island. ‘It gets pretty hard dating in regional...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

300-year-old gum tree to be shipped in for Burnside Village redevelopment

10 March, 2020

10 March, 2020

With demolition works underway for the latest expansion to Burnside Village, the shopping centre’s owners have revealed their latest idea...

New digital Adelaide Metro bus arrival signs to be installed pre-broken

3 October, 2018

3 October, 2018

In an effort to increase efficiency and reduce complaints, Adelaide Metro will be installing their new digital signs at transit...

Man celebrates 40th birthday by agreeing with Leon Byner for the first time

12 October, 2018

12 October, 2018

Drew Ratcage has never been too bothered by the prospect of turning 40, that was until he found himself nodding...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

South Aussies to ask ‘Keeping Cool?’ a record 47 billion times today

20 November, 2019

20 November, 2019

With Adelaide bracing for its hottest day since March, Adelaideans are readying themselves for an onslaught of inquisitiveness about the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: