27 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Now a North Adelaide Resident, Djokovic makes noise complaint at 7pm on Friday

DAN SCHMIDT

Whilst world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic has been in quarantine in North Adelaide, he has become accustomed to traditional local practices of the suburb. Namely, complaining.

It was at approximately 7:02pm last night when South Australia Police received a call from Djokovic, concerned about the noise levels from O’Connell street, some two hundred metres away.

‘I’m all for people having a bit of fun on Friday knock-offs, but this is ridiculous’ sighed the overwhelmed Djokovic.

‘Don’t people realise that we actually live here? There’s no common courtesy whatsoever’.

Djokovic then decided to rail off some additions to his now infamous request list to nobody in particular.

‘Number one. North Adelaide should be a vibrant and lively place, but also silent and everything shuts at 5pm’

“Vibrant yet silent. The North Adelaide resident mantra.”

‘Number two. No live music within a ten kilometre radius of Wellington Square. I heard a little girl practicing her clarinet after school somewhere around Carclew the other day, first thing I’m going to do when I get out of quarantine is knock on their door and give her parents a talking to’.

‘Three, parking. Don’t get me started’.

‘And finally, the new LeCornu site plans. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Remember the Crows’ training facility? We’ll do the same thing again.’

Djokovic then wandered back to his room, complaining about how much his council rates cost but also wanting the council to spend more money in North Adelaide.

in Life, News, Sport
Related Posts

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

5 March, 2020

5 March, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day...

Stupid Klemzig resident gets on express bus again

1 October, 2019

1 October, 2019

For the fourth time in as many weeks, Branden Burg of Klemzig has once again managed to find himself on...

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Woman queuing for bus on Grenfell St clearly doesn’t know how a line works

21 October, 2022

21 October, 2022

Despite queuing multiple times every work day for a bus, it seems that how an orderly line actually functions is...

“South Boy” reckons Christies is heaps rougher than Smithfield

25 February, 2020

25 February, 2020 1

Despite never having travelled north of Prospect, Witton Huntfield of Christies Beach firmly believes that Adelaide’s southern suburbs are far...

SEN raids Adelaide Mail’s discarded joke cupboard, steals idea for range of Kane Cornes merchandise

9 November, 2021

9 November, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Winners of Australia’s Narrowest Broadcast Area Award two years running, SEN SA have released their very own range...

Dad starts saving good Pageant spot now

12 October, 2025

12 October, 2025

With less than one month until the 2025 Christmas Pageant kicks off, father of three, Doug Float, is dedicated to...

Victorian fails SA Driver’s Licence test after correctly zip merging

5 October, 2023

5 October, 2023

An interstate motorist has attempted to gain a South Australian Driver’s Licence but ultimately failed due to their courteous (and...

Guy Sebastian also apologises for tagging Golden Grove Rage Cage in 2001

7 September, 2021

7 September, 2021

GUG SEBASTIAN: Early 2000’s typical North-East hood-rat and former Australian Idol Guy Sebastian has apologised to his Instagram followers for...

Suburb of Paradise hit with false claims lawsuit

15 January, 2019

15 January, 2019

The north-eastern suburb of Paradise has found itself in legal trouble with a class action lawsuit being filed by thousands...

Crows announce new 2026 “Straight Sets” membership: Pay for two games, show up to none

15 September, 2025

15 September, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT Just days after being knocked out of the 2025 AFL Finals Series, the Adelaide Football Club has unveiled...

State Liberals sign sponsorship deal with Dulux in attempt to whitewash their reputation

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

With their reputation already facing questions thanks to former Liberal MP Sam ‘Wandering Hands’ Duluk, the South Australian Liberal Party...

Man on flight to Perth busted trying to take 55L of FUIC in carry on

27 February, 2019

27 February, 2019

Edwardstown man Pieter Goblettsen loves a Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee, so much so that he is said to have once...

Culturally significant South Australian historical artifact uncovered

21 January, 2021

21 January, 2021

A piece of South Australian history has been uncovered in the Adelaide suburbs. The historically significant find sheds light on...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading