8 August, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Easter weekend marks beginning of ‘Be afraid to wear your Kathmandu jacket in public’ season

DAN SCHMIDT

It’s easy to forget that Easter carries with it a deeper, important meaning for so many in our community. For our friends in marketing, it’s the time of year where they can rejoice in the chance to pretend that they came up with the phrases “hop into savings”. 

For our elderly relatives, it’s a chance to permanently break the spirit of children everywhere with the customary presentation of Easter eggs bought from Cheap As Chips.

For the rest of us, the passing of Easter marks the beginning of jacket weather, more specifically, an opportunity to finally wear that super-warm, down, puffer jacket.

The change in weather does, however, carry the inherent risk of embarrassment that comes with being photographed wearing your jacket in public and having the photograph shared on popular local Instagram account [redacted].

Just like running MAFS polls and pushing our shitty calendars, we are the only ones in this state holding them to account

Account curator and part-time manager of his father’s rapidly-diminishing portfolio, Sebastian Toffeewank explained his ongoing hatred for people in Kathmandu jackets.

[redacted] is about punching up, speaking truth to power and protecting the little guy from injustice. And part of that is making fun of people wearing Kathmandu jackets, in the same way we would post an endless stream of pictures of people parking slightly outside of the lines. We’re holding them to account.’

‘Just like running MAFS polls and pushing our shitty calendars, we are the only ones in this state holding them to account.’

When we asked who ‘them’ was, [redacted] blocked us, as is their wont.

in Life, News
Related Posts

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Report: Albert Bensimon actually enjoyed a little bit of hoo-ha

19 December, 2018

19 December, 2018

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite his self-anointed reputation as a serious, no-nonsense jewellery magnate, the Adelaide Mail can finally reveal that Albert...

Midnight Pharmacy seriously gives no fucks anymore

28 February, 2019

28 February, 2019

What was once an innovative practice for the early 2000’s, in an age where South Australian pharmacies were banned from...

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

3 December, 2019

3 December, 2019

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate...

Adelaide Crows external review results revealed: Shit’s fucked

11 October, 2019

11 October, 2019

The Adelaide Football Club have revealed the results of a six week-long, in-depth external review of both its on and...

Truckie was just holding out for cheaper fuel price

31 October, 2019

31 October, 2019

A truck driver that caused massive delays on the downtrack of the SE Freeway remains convinced that he made the...

Vista local resigned to the fact it’s just easier to say they’re from Tea Tree Gully

29 October, 2018

29 October, 2018

‘Vista? Do you mean Para Vista?’ is the age old question that Britney Nicholls has heard time and time again...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

You can visit Red Square this weekend! (And by ‘Red Square’ we mean some ginger nerd)

20 May, 2020

20 May, 2020

With news breaking that pubs will not commence reopening until June, there are still plenty of ways to have fun...

Colour blind uni student argues superiority of green and white cafe

5 October, 2019

5 October, 2019

A colour blind University of Adelaide arts student has found himself in an overly heated argument about the relative virtues...

You can still take the kids to Puzzle Park this school holidays, it’s now somehow safer

8 July, 2020

8 July, 2020

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Due to COVID-19 restrictions, Christmas Pageant postponed until at least September

16 June, 2020

16 June, 2020

It gets earlier every year, unless it doesn't.

BMW X5s return to Burnside after annual migration to Pt Elliot shacks

4 January, 2019

4 January, 2019

An annual migratory flight of eastern suburbs quasi-four wheel drives is nearly over for another year as the final straggling...

Ingle Farm shopping centre considering radical third Coles store

13 September, 2019

13 September, 2019

Following the success of the populist “A Chicken In Every Pot, Two Coles in Every Mall” plan, Ingle Farm Shopping...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: