Torrens Paddleboats now come with optional Hazmat Suit hire

DAN SCHMIDT

With the River Torrens looking like absolute scunge recently (even by Torrens standards), the Paddleboat hire operators are now offering an extra layer of protection for those foolish enough to brave the body of what can be loosely described as “water”.

Just in time for the school holidays, the hazmat suits come in both adult and child sizes, which Kids In Adelaide describes as “perfect for families looking for an activity to undertake a potential life-threatening voyage that gets the little ones off their devices and into nature”.

The hazmat suits are available for an extra $5 per person, which assistant deputy intern paddleboat operator, Joel Eaze, told Adelaide Mail reporters is ‘a small price to pay considering the personal and public health benefits’.

Still, on site Adelaide Mail reporters refused to pay the fee and are now attempting to claim workers’ compensation.

Joke’s on them, we don’t have any money.