17 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Neo-nazis get wires crossed, end up at St Kilda Adventure Playground

TRENT BARTLETT

When Salisbury’s resident neo-nazis Morgan Dolkhatch and Barry “Knuckles” Mudflap found out about an upcoming rally of right wing extremists they became terribly excited. Public displays of their strongly-held views are, in their eyes, unfairly shunned by the general public.

The event, promoted as a Cronulla-style spectacle of race-hate violence – b.y.o. snacks was right up the alley of the two. Unfortunately, Dolkhatch and Mudflap had mistaken the venue of Melbourne beachside suburb St Kilda for the northern Adelaide beach of the same name.

We got to play on the pirate ship, I went on the flying fox, but Knuckles was too scared and then we had lunch

‘We got there and there were about 30 or 40 other protesters’, says Mudflap, ‘mostly little kiddies. I thought to myself “Great! Finally parents of today are knocking some sense into this generation”. You know, they’re not the angriest protesters going around, but what they lack in violent, bigoted beliefs they make up for in enthusiasm. Especially around slippery dips’.

‘It really was unlike any protest I’ve been to’, adds Dolkhatch, a lot more fun, really. We got to play on the pirate ship, I went on the flying fox, but Knuckles was too scared and then we had lunch. One of the other mums asked if we were hungry, you know we only brought placards with us, we didn’t know that we’d be having a picnic. We had ham sandwiches’.

The pair labelled their protest as a “resounding success” and said that they would be back to “continue protesting the ongoing victimisation of white people next week, probably with a picnic rug next time”.

Related Posts

UniSA mature-aged student puts hand up again

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

eaking: 12 students from UniSA’s Magill campus are believed to have spent the last seven hours locked in a tutorial room after their course’s resident mature-aged student began raising her hand to quiz her tutor on a raft of trivial questions.

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Garden Grove erect giant windsock to capture free top soil in dust storm

19 September, 2019

19 September, 2019

Landscape supplier Garden Grove best known for their trucks smelling like manure and mistakenly being called Golden Grove Supplies have...

Shopper actually finds reasonably priced product at OTR

2 August, 2019

2 August, 2019

With South Australia’s government mandated restrictive shopping hours in full force, partly enacted to ensure citizens patronise local family-run service...

Mix 102.3 accidentally goes 15 minutes without playing Smash Mouth

13 December, 2019

13 December, 2019

In an unfortunate series of mistakes that may cost Mix 102.3 in the year’s final round of radio ratings, the...

Remaining KI koalas go missing as news of PM’s visit spreads

8 January, 2020

8 January, 2020

As news of the Prime Minister’s visit to Kangaroo Island spreads amongst what remains of Kangaroo Island’s koala community, the...

We take a look back at 'Crow Milk’ and the diabetes epidemic it caused

2 December, 2019

2 December, 2019

In the wake of current local flavoured milk wars, let’s take a moment to remember a simpler time in South...

Old mate puts Holden badge on new Camaro

30 July, 2019

30 July, 2019

With the release of American muscle-car the Chevrolet Camaro to Australia, avid Holden fan Beau Ghan was excited to somehow get...

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

Melbourne man visits Adelaide just to complain about shop trading hours

12 January, 2019

12 January, 2019

Gouland Hambitter and his family moved to Melbourne from Adelaide when he was eight-years-old. His father had taken up a...

Playford resident quickly finds out why House & Land package was so cheap

8 October, 2018

8 October, 2018

Finally deciding to bite the bullet of home ownership, Mel Ashton, 29, of Smithfield, felt she could not go past...

Adelaide Fashion Festival just showcasing whatever is on sale at Harris Scarfe

20 October, 2018

20 October, 2018

The State’s leading fashion event is currently underway in Adelaide, with designers, runway models, socialites, and critics flying in from...

Man hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that could spell...

Dads all over Adelaide angry that you fiddled with the air conditioner temperature

19 December, 2019

19 December, 2019

Sure, it’s been hot in Adelaide these past few days. But that doesn’t mean you have to be fiddling around...

Bloke’s tailbone still recovering after tobogganing over the jumps at Mt Thebarton

4 December, 2018

4 December, 2018

When a 14-year-old Alex Dangerfield visited Mt Thebarton in 1995 to experience tobogganing for the first time, he did not...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: