Neo-nazis get wires crossed, end up at St Kilda Adventure Playground

When Salisbury’s resident neo-nazis Morgan Dolkhatch and Barry “Knuckles” Mudflap found out about an upcoming rally of right wing extremists they became terribly excited. Public displays of their strongly-held views are, in their eyes, unfairly shunned by the general public.

The event, promoted as a Cronulla-style spectacle of race-hate violence – b.y.o. snacks was right up the alley of the two. Unfortunately, Dolkhatch and Mudflap had mistaken the venue of Melbourne beachside suburb St Kilda for the northern Adelaide beach of the same name.

‘We got there and there were about 30 or 40 other protesters’, says Mudflap, ‘mostly little kiddies. I thought to myself “Great! Finally parents of today are knocking some sense into this generation”. You know, they’re not the angriest protesters going around, but what they lack in violent, bigoted beliefs they make up for in enthusiasm. Especially around slippery dips’.

‘It really was unlike any protest I’ve been to’, adds Dolkhatch, a lot more fun, really. We got to play on the pirate ship, I went on the flying fox, but Knuckles was too scared and then we had lunch. One of the other mums asked if we were hungry, you know we only brought placards with us, we didn’t know that we’d be having a picnic. We had ham sandwiches’.

The pair labelled their protest as a “resounding success” and said that they would be back to “continue protesting the ongoing victimisation of white people next week, probably with a picnic rug next time”.