28 May, 2023

Adelaide Mail calendars just 12 pictures of Tea Tree Plaza done in MS Paint

DAN SCHMIDT

Because we haven’t figured out how to put an annoying paywall on this site and our website domain renewal is due, we here at the Adelaide Mail have thought up a new and very original idea on how to bring in the revenue from you suckers, our loyal readers.

It is with mild excitement that we announce our 2021 Adelaide Mail calendar, full of spelling mistakes, dates in the wrong places, and no fewer than 11 pictures of Tea Tree Plaza quickly done in MS Paint.

Because the Adelaide Mail team has never actually ventured outside of the north-eastern suburbs (and why would you ever need to?), we frankly don’t know or care what else Adelaide has to offer, so TTP is finally getting the recognition it deserves in the form of a disappointing Kris Kringle gift.

Now you may be thinking “you unfunny local Betoota Advocate ripoffs are just ripping off some unfunny local Brown Cardigan ripoffs” but that could not be further from the truth, we actually rip most of our content off of The Onion.

Each month of the calendar is essentially the same picture, except in December the Plaza’s witches hat has a Santa hat on top of it. We know that the Plaza doesn’t actually have the witches hat anymore, but if we weren’t to include it the building would be essentially indistinguishable from Yatala Labour Prison.

Also, June is missing.

Also, due to delays at the printing factory in China, the calendars won’t be posted until mid-2022.

Order yours now via fax for only $46 (plus postage and handling) to help keep this mess of a website alive.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Suburb of Devon Park to be renamed Fritz Park

7 January, 2019

7 January, 2019

In an act of South Australian patriotism, a successful campaign by residents has led to the inner north suburb of...

Save big with your SAFM 107 Card at these places today!

27 March, 2019

27 March, 2019

Here at Adelaide Mail, we’ve got some pretty powerful friends in high places, which means our proverbial fingers are on...

Maslin Beach declared as exposure site (but has nothing to do with COVID-19)

21 July, 2021

21 July, 2021

With the list of local COVID-19 exposure sites growing quicker than that bloke behind the bushes, another has been added...

Lifetime Golden Grove resident still doesn’t know difference between Grove Way and Golden Way

30 September, 2020

30 September, 2020

Despite living at “World’s Best Address” for over thirty years, Dellfyn Targethill still struggles with basic geographical concepts in his...

New food delivery service “O-Bahnacle Bill” set to challenge Uber Eats

25 January, 2019

25 January, 2019

Barnacle Bill will start delivering anywhere along the North East Busway track starting early next month. William Cirriped, Director of...

“South Boy” reckons Christies is heaps rougher than Smithfield

25 February, 2020

25 February, 2020 1

Despite never having travelled north of Prospect, Witton Huntfield of Christies Beach firmly believes that Adelaide’s southern suburbs are far...

Next season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ to actually be set in Adelaide’s premier suburb of Paradise

24 August, 2018

24 August, 2018

Due to excessive helicopter use and a vast majority of the budget being spent on Osher’s hair, Channel 10 executives have...

Adelaide Mail announces new subscriber-only service Adelaide Mail Premium

1 April, 2020

1 April, 2020

It is with great excitement that the team at Adelaide Mail announces the next phase in our journey. Wall-to-wall paywalls...

Port Adelaide celebrates 25th anniversary of really taking off in the next few years

16 September, 2020

16 September, 2020

This week officially marked the 25th anniversary of Port Adelaide locals, clueless investors and desperate medium-density housing developers all maintaining...

The real puzzle is how nobody died

6 August, 2019

6 August, 2019

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

Hindley Street to become 100% shisha bars by 2020, study reveals

17 January, 2019

17 January, 2019

New research into economic trends in Adelaide’s west end reveals that the city’s most famous nightstrip is heading towards wall-to-wall...

Goolwa Line Electrified

15 June, 2022

15 June, 2022

Whilst the SteamRanger Cockle Train has always been a reliable mode of public transport for Middleton residents commuting to their...

New real time fuel app helps motorists find cheapest petrol by simply eliminating OTR servos

14 May, 2021

14 May, 2021

The new RAA real-time fuel app provides South Australian motorists with current information about where to find the cheapest nearby...

The Adelaide Giants accidentally gave us media passes so now we legally have to write about them

31 January, 2023

31 January, 2023

Through what we can only assume is some sort of clerical error, our “newspaper” was given media passes to an...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: