27 October, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Business on former site of Barnacle Bill is not fooling anyone

Editor’s note: The most knowledgeable person on all things South Australian (that we know about, at least) Dave Walsh has pointed out that the building in question was never a Barnacle Bill. Ironically, it was once a Fish & Chip shop called ‘Barney’s’, a direct ripoff of Barnacle Bill. Please read the following with that in mind.

A Parkside business selling curtains and blinds has failed to convince any passer-by that their building was not once the site of a Barnacle Bill takeaway restaurant, having only undertaken cursory alterations to distinctly seafood-themed building.

While the Unley Road building has not been occupied by a Barnacle Bill restaurant for more than 15 years, it still retains all of the traditional hallmarks of the popular seafood chain, including a tugboat-style chimney, porthole windows and a full-sized barnacle-encrusted anchor that is simply too heavy to move.

‘The anchor hasn’t been great for business, to be honest’, says business owner Jurleen Veneciana. ‘the whole place stinks from all the barnacles, so people walk in looking for blinds and then leave straight away because they’re overwhelmed by the stench. I probably shouldn’t keep them alive, but I just feel bad for the little guys. I’m used to the stink, to be honest. I mean, I don’t see any friends or family anymore because of it, but I find it comforting now’.

But an overwhelming stench and giant anchor aren’t the last of Veneciana’s problems, the fact that her business still looks just like a seafood restaurant from the outside means that the majority of foot traffic wander in looking for dinner.

The whole place stinks from all the barnacles, so people walk in looking for blinds and then leave straight away because they’re overwhelmed by the stench

‘When we first moved in the deep fryer was still turned on and had some calamari rings frying away in it.  They must have been in there for a few years at least, because the place hadn’t been occupied for a long time. I did try one and to be honest, not that different to what you’d usually expect’.

‘Anyway, instead of getting rid of the fryer we thought “why not capitalise on all these hungry potential customers?” That’s why we’re offering the 2 for 1 Plantation Shutter/Treasure Chest deal. So you can shut out the outside world’s judgment as you stuff your face with 35 prawns and half a kilo of chips’.

Related Posts

Adelaide’s own Squid Game?! We replaced the glass over the museum squid and a kid fell in.

26 October, 2021

26 October, 2021

Desperate to keep up with the latest trends in a bid to attract more readers, Adelaide Mail are here to...

Collingwood given all-clear to play as long as they promise not to touch the footy

2 June, 2021

2 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT In an eleventh-hour decision, South Australian authorities have given Collingwood players and staff an exemption to travel into...

Farmers Union to launch new milk-based sports energy drink

16 December, 2020

16 December, 2020

"The curdle helps you clear the hurdles"

Stupid Klemzig resident gets on express bus again

1 October, 2019

1 October, 2019

For the fourth time in as many weeks, Branden Burg of Klemzig has once again managed to find himself on...

Just FYI, that Whispering Wall is a dirty snitch

15 July, 2020

15 July, 2020

DAM SNITCH: We all have secrets. Some large, some small, some downright incriminating. But when we confide in someone or...

Golden Grove resident protests removal of trees

17 January, 2020

17 January, 2020

As news breaks that over 180 trees will be removed from the streets of Golden Grove, one resident is doing...

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2021-22 Federal Budget, Treasurer Frydenberg didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table...

Stirling celebrates record low crime, waste, and vaccination rates

12 December, 2018

12 December, 2018

The Adelaide Hills town of Stirling is celebrating at the end of this year, with statistics showing a trifecta of...

With fewer flights, proposal made to bring back West Lakes McDonalds Party Plane

30 April, 2021

30 April, 2021

With this whole COVID thing still going nuts in countries that can’t get their shit together, fewer international flights are...

South Aussies to ask ‘Keeping Cool?’ a record 47 billion times today

20 November, 2019

20 November, 2019

With Adelaide bracing for its hottest day since March, Adelaideans are readying themselves for an onslaught of inquisitiveness about the...

South Australia’s Top 10 WAGS

11 January, 2021

11 January, 2021

As a news outlet run by two men, we at the Adelaide Mail find nothing more enjoyable and appropriate than...

Bowden plant sale customer will definitely keep them alive this time

6 May, 2019

6 May, 2019

Serial houseplant murderer Juniper Cortisol may have a track record in buying and subsequently killing all of her previous houseplants,...

Griffins Hotel to start opening up for THREE hours a month to keep up with massive demand spike

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It’s the hub of Adelaide nightlife around the north-eastern side of Hindmarsh Square. The Griffins Hotel is the...

Dads all over Adelaide angry that you fiddled with the air conditioner temperature

19 December, 2019

19 December, 2019

Sure, it’s been hot in Adelaide these past few days. But that doesn’t mean you have to be fiddling around...

Salisbury mum returns to OTR to buy carton of ciggies with wheelbarrow full of shrapnel

5 January, 2019

5 January, 2019

After reportedly being denied being able to buy milk and bread with a few fifty cents pieces, the single mother...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: