29 September, 2022

Glam Adelaide intern fired for only reposting Southport Beach stairs six times in a week

DAN SCHMIDT

A social media intern at South Australia’s home of lifestyle news and filtered drone photos, Glam Adelaide, has been let go from her position due to a lack of content recreation.

Recent digital media graduate, Essie Oh, stated that she had been let go from her position as she had failed to meet the strict Southport Beach steps at Port Noarlunga KPI enforced by the company.

Essie stated ‘It came as a bit of a shock, but I had been focusing a lot of my energy on exceeding the reposting oversaturated shots of Second Valley KPI. I had looked at so much unrealistically vivid bright blue water that my retina became scorched. Everything I looked at was bright blue. I felt like I was living in an Eiffel 65 music video, so I took a day off to see the orthodontist’.

Essie continued ‘He said everything seemed fine. Didn’t fix my eyes though, just made me lay down in a chair and shone more light into them. Really weird. I think he made it worse, but I was really revved up to get back to work on the Glam Adelaide instagram’.

Oh, she was blinded by the light and revved up like a deuce (ask your parents) to get back to work. However with almost a complete lack of vision, thinking it was a photo was the Southport steps, Essie accidentally reposted a picture of the Mawson Lakes interchange stairwell, which admittedly once you apply a few filters, can look quite nice.

This led to an instant dismissal from Glam Adelaide and only 20,000 likes of the post.

Things only got worse for Essie Oh, she found casual employment with AdeLady not long afterwards, and was once again quickly dismissed for accidentally posting unsponsored content.

Things then became dire for Essie, with extremely limited employment options available, she had to take a job with Adelaide Mail. Essie now spends her work week searching The Onion for headline ideas we can steal and managing our Myspace page, purely so we can illegally claim the JobKeeper allowance.

Related Posts

UniSA law student happy to let you keep thinking he goes to Adelaide

23 May, 2019

23 May, 2019

Despite typically jumping to the defence of UniSA’s law degree, Esteban Cornbox is not in any hurry to correct you...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

To rival Power’s 3 Game Membership, Crows offer 3 Quarter Membership

3 August, 2021

3 August, 2021

With Port Adelaide Power Football Club (est. 1997) claiming they now have the most members of any AFL club, yet...

Malls Balls shrink as winter arrives in Adelaide

1 June, 2022

1 June, 2022

Since 1977 they have proudly been on display for all to see, but it appears winter has truly arrived in...

If they have to tear the Big Scotsman down, at least let us finally see his dick

14 April, 2021

14 April, 2021

For generations passing motorists and those unfortunate enough to stay at Scotty’s Motel have tried to catch a glimpse at...

Bus uses self-destruct function after learning it will be servicing new Hackham to Hillbank route

19 May, 2020

19 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT An Adelaide Metro bus who recently learned that it will be redeployed into a new route servicing some...

Premier Pete gets right onto fixing the ramping issues

22 March, 2022

22 March, 2022

South Australia’s new Premier has wasted absolutely no time acting upon his promise of fixing the ramping issues. However, it...

Rundle Mall buskers now allowed to expand their repertoire beyond Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’

17 December, 2018

17 December, 2018

In a controversial move, the Adelaide City Council has agreed to a trial period where buskers can perform songs that...

Woman makes mistake of going to Rundle Mall during school holidays

20 July, 2022

20 July, 2022

Popping out on her lunch break to grab a few things from Adelaide’s eighth best shopping district, office worker Helen...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Adelaide Metro app update to feature better arrival time accuracy of non-existent buses

12 November, 2018

12 November, 2018

In the largest app update since the ‘randomly crashing’ feature Adelaide Metro has announced the newest app feature for commuters....

Satirical news site runs out of TV commercials to rank, now completely out of ideas

29 May, 2020

29 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s second favourite source of fake news has been revealed for the sham that it is, with...

‘You can’t pay off COVID fines using free drink cards’, Zhivago owners told

20 July, 2020

20 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT After copping thousands of dollars in fines for breaking COVID-19 restrictions, the owners of Zhivago have been told...

Yatala Vale resident tired of explaining it’s nowhere near the prison

14 February, 2020

14 February, 2020

A resident of Yatala Vale, a picturesque semi-rural suburb in Adelaide’s outer north-east, is fed up being asked if she...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: