22 June, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Glam Adelaide intern fired for only reposting Southport Beach stairs six times in a week

DAN SCHMIDT

A social media intern at South Australia’s home of lifestyle news and filtered drone photos, Glam Adelaide, has been let go from her position due to a lack of content recreation.

Recent digital media graduate, Essie Oh, stated that she had been let go from her position as she had failed to meet the strict Southport Beach steps at Port Noarlunga KPI enforced by the company.

Essie stated ‘It came as a bit of a shock, but I had been focusing a lot of my energy on exceeding the reposting oversaturated shots of Second Valley KPI. I had looked at so much unrealistically vivid bright blue water that my retina became scorched. Everything I looked at was bright blue. I felt like I was living in an Eiffel 65 music video, so I took a day off to see the orthodontist’.

Essie continued ‘He said everything seemed fine. Didn’t fix my eyes though, just made me lay down in a chair and shone more light into them. Really weird. I think he made it worse, but I was really revved up to get back to work on the Glam Adelaide instagram’.

Oh, she was blinded by the light and revved up like a deuce (ask your parents) to get back to work. However with almost a complete lack of vision, thinking it was a photo was the Southport steps, Essie accidentally reposted a picture of the Mawson Lakes interchange stairwell, which admittedly once you apply a few filters, can look quite nice.

This led to an instant dismissal from Glam Adelaide and only 20,000 likes of the post.

Things only got worse for Essie Oh, she found casual employment with AdeLady not long afterwards, and was once again quickly dismissed for accidentally posting unsponsored content.

Things then became dire for Essie, with extremely limited employment options available, she had to take a job with Adelaide Mail. Essie now spends her work week searching The Onion for headline ideas we can steal and managing our Myspace page, purely so we can illegally claim the JobKeeper allowance.

Related Posts

Man goes to Glenelg for New Year’s under impression it may be good

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

A local Adelaide man will tonight undertake what many South Australians have fallen trap to in the past. As a...

Instagrammer comments “Why no Adelaide?!” on tour announcement despite no intention of going

5 June, 2018

5 June, 2018

When international pop artist Shawn Mendes announced his Australian tour earlier this month, Cara O’Connell, 16, was less than amused at the glaring omission of Adelaide for the run of shows.

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

With Splendour cancelled, one infamous SA festival returns to save the music scene

28 March, 2024

28 March, 2024

The cancellation of Splendour In The Grass has left a giant hole in Australia’s festival scene, however one SA music...

Premier announces, then promptly cancels, Adelaide’s new “Everything Is Cancelled” Festival

6 November, 2020

6 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In-keeping with the (now surely understood to be ironic) title of Australia’s Best Events State, South Australia has...

Dad asks if you know what Myponga smells like

7 February, 2020

7 February, 2020

A Woodville South family once again became the butt of dad’s joke yesterday evening. An hour after the family’s Mexican...

Solution found to bring back Adelaide 500

3 March, 2021

3 March, 2021

With South Australia’s heavily-branded apparel wearers lamenting the lack of The Clipsal or Superloop or Adelaide 500 or whatever it...

Hills Hoist and Cask Wine sales data significantly correlated for some unknown reason

27 August, 2018

27 August, 2018

Statisticians and data analysts have been left completely baffled at the strongly correlated sales data of two South Australian icons....

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

Haggle guy reckons he could still get a Caffe Primo meal for $9.90

5 July, 2019

5 July, 2019

Despite not having a $9.90 menu or the iconic South Australian television commercial for several years, there is one person...

Port’s 2021 five-year plan not yet a failure, club now aiming to win three premierships by Sunday

12 February, 2026

12 February, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT Almost five years on from the release of their bold roadmap to win three premierships and attract 100,000...

Snowflakes triggered by scoreboard change seriously look like they couldn’t bat for shit

27 November, 2023

27 November, 2023 1

The iconic Adelaide Oval scoreboard has been updated as the Strikers are set to host the WBBL final this weekend....

“So we’re all just going to ignore how hilarious this is just because it’s Gran’s wake?”

23 June, 2023

23 June, 2023

The extended family of recently passed Murray Bridge resident, Dee Ceased, gathered at the local funeral home to pay their...

Royal Adelaide Show Cancelled: Who will judge Nan’s knitted Golliwogs now?

14 April, 2020

14 April, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT News has broken that the Royal Adelaide Show has been cancelled for the fifth time in history. Previously...

Courteous paperboy throws Messenger right next to recycle bin

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

Loading up the milkcrate strapped to the front of his BMX each Wednesday after school, Jackson DeGoris prepares for his...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading