2 December, 2023

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the Adelaide CBD last night.

Nearing dinnertime Mile End resident and widower, Jack Ettpertayto, decided to fire up the Google Assistant on his Samsung S3 to find a nice roast buffet.

“Okay Google, take me to Carvery”

Already foreseeing the plot holes that this story will inevitably contain, Jack purposely chose to ignore the Google description and images attached to the location, and headed towards the city.

Upon arrival at his usual dinner time of 4:45pm, Jack waltzed into Calvary Hospital with a large napkin already tucked into his shirt. Approaching the admissions desk with a big grin and holding his knife and fork vertically, Jack excitedly exclaimed to the orderly “I’m here for the meat!”

Quickly ushered to a bed for assessment, Jack was in awe of the outstanding customer service, ‘I’m all for a sit down meal, but a lay down meal is even better. The wait staff are very caring too, the only time I’ve been shown this type of concern at The Buckingham Arms was when I choked on my ninth bit of crackling’.

However, Jack was somewhat let down by his meal ‘The roast they gave me wasn’t the best, plus I couldn’t go up and ask for more. Tasted a bit like hospital food to be honest, next time I’ll probably venture out to the Elizabeth Shopping Centre food court’.

Jack will be transferred to the Lyell McEwin psychiatric ward next week.

Related Posts

State govt regrets choosing papier-mâché option for Darlington upgrade

9 May, 2019

9 May, 2019

With large swathes of load-bearing wall crumbling from the Darlington upgrade of South Road over the last week, questions have...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

“SA needs more live music” says Harvest Rock punter before ignoring live music for another 6 months

30 October, 2023

30 October, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT Music promoters have been left wondering whether there might still be life in Adelaide’s schedule of touring international...

Plans for Adelaide Hills Theme Park ‘Magic Mount Lofty’ announced

22 March, 2019

22 March, 2019

The Adelaide Hills Council have announced development plans for a ‘new’ theme park at the state’s most popular hiking destination...

300-year-old gum tree to be shipped in for Burnside Village redevelopment

10 March, 2020

10 March, 2020

With demolition works underway for the latest expansion to Burnside Village, the shopping centre’s owners have revealed their latest idea...

Fringe show releases new promotional image following KKK backlash

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Adelaide Fringe has responded to an online petition urging them to pull support of a controversial BDSM show after an...

Humphrey B Bear says cancel culture has killed opportunities for mute, pantsless bears on TV

22 March, 2021

22 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Australia’s most famous boater hat-wearing anthropomorphic bear has broken his decades-long silence to add to the chorus of...

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

22 December, 2019

22 December, 2019

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of...

14 year old comedic genius invents the nickname “Colon Aids”

19 March, 2020

19 March, 2020

A Hackham West teenager has taken Adelaide’s southern suburbs by storm after creating a hilarious crude nickname for Colonnades shopping...

Old mate puts Holden badge on new Camaro

30 July, 2019

30 July, 2019

With the release of American muscle-car the Chevrolet Camaro to Australia, avid Holden fan Beau Ghan was excited to somehow get...

Kid who asked for “Leggo” getting a jar of pasta sauce from South Aussie Santa

10 November, 2020

10 November, 2020

As November begins it means that our department stores and suburban shops are soon to be filled with Santas (actually,...

Kevin Costner spotted in Ridgehaven filming Waterworld sequel

12 August, 2019

12 August, 2019

With Adelaide seemingly becoming a relatively budget-friendly locale for upcoming Hollywood flops, it has become apparent that Mortal Kombat isn’t...

Top two levels “still as exciting as ever” say Myer Centre management

12 April, 2019

12 April, 2019

In a bid to entice more people into an ageing, largely vacant shopping centre, the management of the Myer Centre...

“Thanks Optus!”, FIVEaa listener laments wasted morning spent unable to text what “he reckons”

8 November, 2023

8 November, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT With the full scale of this morning’s Optus outage still to be fully understood, sociologists are urging the...

Comments

Leave a Reply