2 October, 2022

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the Adelaide CBD last night.

Nearing dinnertime Mile End resident and widower, Jack Ettpertayto, decided to fire up the Google Assistant on his Samsung S3 to find a nice roast buffet.

“Okay Google, take me to Carvery”

Already foreseeing the plot holes that this story will inevitably contain, Jack purposely chose to ignore the Google description and images attached to the location, and headed towards the city.

Upon arrival at his usual dinner time of 4:45pm, Jack waltzed into Calvary Hospital with a large napkin already tucked into his shirt. Approaching the admissions desk with a big grin and holding his knife and fork vertically, Jack excitedly exclaimed to the orderly “I’m here for the meat!”

Quickly ushered to a bed for assessment, Jack was in awe of the outstanding customer service, ‘I’m all for a sit down meal, but a lay down meal is even better. The wait staff are very caring too, the only time I’ve been shown this type of concern at The Buckingham Arms was when I choked on my ninth bit of crackling’.

However, Jack was somewhat let down by his meal ‘The roast they gave me wasn’t the best, plus I couldn’t go up and ask for more. Tasted a bit like hospital food to be honest, next time I’ll probably venture out to the Elizabeth Shopping Centre food court’.

Jack will be transferred to the Lyell McEwin psychiatric ward next week.

Related Posts

Advertiser’s top 100 restaurant list just Barnacle Bill 100 times

16 October, 2019

16 October, 2019

Usually the number one source of fish and chip paper itself, our State’s leading satirical newspaper The Advertiser has surprised...

Dad asks if you know what Myponga smells like

7 February, 2020

7 February, 2020

A Woodville South family once again became the butt of dad’s joke yesterday evening. An hour after the family’s Mexican...

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

Maslin Beach declared as exposure site (but has nothing to do with COVID-19)

21 July, 2021

21 July, 2021

With the list of local COVID-19 exposure sites growing quicker than that bloke behind the bushes, another has been added...

State Liberals sign sponsorship deal with Dulux in attempt to whitewash their reputation

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

With their reputation already facing questions thanks to former Liberal MP Sam ‘Wandering Hands’ Duluk, the South Australian Liberal Party...

P-Plater fined for NOT doing burnout at Golden Grove Hungry Jack’s Drive-Thru

25 February, 2021

25 February, 2021

The day after a man has been arrested for doing a burnout at a southern suburbs Hungry Jack’s, another similar...

Move over Mods! This wrestler’s changing his name to Ian Perrie in tribute of the OTHER Crows legend

29 October, 2020

29 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Earlier this week it was revealed that a WWE wrestler had changed his name to that of former...

Salesman optimistic about selling in-ground pool to family holding Bertie Beetle showbags

31 August, 2018

31 August, 2018

When it comes to closing the deal, Christian Levolsi backs himself like few other salesmen, so when he was faced...

Chairman Mao’s portrait to be replaced with image of Pasquale Mastrangelo

16 August, 2018

16 August, 2018

The famous gates of Beijing’s Forbidden City are about to receive a real estate agent-inspired makeover, courtesy of Adelaide commercial...

Brand new Gawler line trains somehow already tagged

7 June, 2022

7 June, 2022

After finally finding a 42 kilometre extension cord at Paramount Browns, it seems that the brand new trains along the...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

Peter Van the Party Man really just wants a quiet night in with the kids

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

It’s been over thirty years of non-stop debauchery for Goodwood Road’s most-famous party man Peter Van, but his days of...

Man plays quick 9 at Holey Moley before last year’s gift card expires

24 December, 2019

24 December, 2019

A Somerton Park man has knocked off work early in a frantic rush to get to novelty mini golf course...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: