25 May, 2022

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the Adelaide CBD last night.

Nearing dinnertime Mile End resident and widower, Jack Ettpertayto, decided to fire up the Google Assistant on his Samsung S3 to find a nice roast buffet.

“Okay Google, take me to Carvery”

Already foreseeing the plot holes that this story will inevitably contain, Jack purposely chose to ignore the Google description and images attached to the location, and headed towards the city.

Upon arrival at his usual dinner time of 4:45pm, Jack waltzed into Calvary Hospital with a large napkin already tucked into his shirt. Approaching the admissions desk with a big grin and holding his knife and fork vertically, Jack excitedly exclaimed to the orderly “I’m here for the meat!”

Quickly ushered to a bed for assessment, Jack was in awe of the outstanding customer service, ‘I’m all for a sit down meal, but a lay down meal is even better. The wait staff are very caring too, the only time I’ve been shown this type of concern at The Buckingham Arms was when I choked on my ninth bit of crackling’.

However, Jack was somewhat let down by his meal ‘The roast they gave me wasn’t the best, plus I couldn’t go up and ask for more. Tasted a bit like hospital food to be honest, next time I’ll probably venture out to the Elizabeth Shopping Centre food court’.

Jack will be transferred to the Lyell McEwin psychiatric ward next week.

Related Posts

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

‘Fool me 47 times, shame on you’ say Crows as they draft new Victorian

28 November, 2019

28 November, 2019

Adelaide Football Club’s recruitment team are all smiles this morning, emerging from the first leg of the 2019 AFL Draft...

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

SA tells WA ‘Only we have the skills to maintain problem-riddled subs’

13 August, 2019

13 August, 2019

With Western Australia circling Adelaide’s lucrative Collins Class Submarine maintenance contract, SA’s western counterparts have been told to ‘Back off,...

Chunky Custard to be inducted into SA’s Rock n Roll Hall of Lame

11 October, 2018

11 October, 2018

Since the early 90’s, cover band Chunky Custard have been donning the zany wigs, crazy costumes and slightly outdated references....

Changes to medi-hotel rules means no more licking guests in quarantine without a permit

25 November, 2020

25 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It has been a tradition in South Australia since the nineteenth century, but one stroke of a pen...

Adelaide Council announces ‘Brother Sculpture’ to Malls Balls: The “Grote Scrote”

9 November, 2020

9 November, 2020

DAVID KNIGHT With the successful unveiling of the new pigeon statue in Rundle Mall last week, Adelaide City Council has...

Man leverages home equity to pay for son’s frog cake addiction

2 February, 2019

2 February, 2019

Being a single parent is never easy financially, especially when you have a ten-year-old son eating upwards of three Balfours...

Lifetime Golden Grove resident still doesn’t know difference between Grove Way and Golden Way

30 September, 2020

30 September, 2020

Despite living at “World’s Best Address” for over thirty years, Dellfyn Targethill still struggles with basic geographical concepts in his...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

Elon Musk buys AdelaideFree Wifi for thirty bucks and a carton of West End

28 April, 2022

28 April, 2022

After buying Twitter earlier this week for over 60 billion dollars, Tesla CEO and apartheid mining heir Elon Musk has...

North East Road to be 100% service stations by 2026

9 January, 2020

9 January, 2020 1

With the rise in popularity of X Convenience service stations and OTR’s “they build one, we build two” policy, urban planning experts have revealed that this exponential growth will lead to North East Road becoming entirely lined with service stations by mid-2026.

Adelaide Mail’s top 10 Adelaide 36ers of all time

6 May, 2020

6 May, 2020

Here we are again, another list. We’re just as happy about it as you, okay? Nobody wants to read lists...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: