26 May, 2022

Haggle guy reckons he could still get a Caffe Primo meal for $9.90

Despite not having a $9.90 menu or the iconic South Australian television commercial for several years, there is one person who feels he could still rock up to any Caffe Primo and land a classic deal.

South Australia’s self-crowned king of the haggle, Vafa Barterolli, let the Adelaide Mail in with the exclusive bargaining secrets he will employ in an attempt to get a moderately reduced dinner.

‘When it comes to the haggling mantra, timing is everything. First off, it’s important to go in at the end of the month. Like car salesmen and whitegoods retailers, I assume the teenage wait staff at the restaurant have monthly sales targets and will be desperate to hit them, which will let me walk away with a steal. Second hot tip, go in at the end of the night, they’re going to want to get rid of stock cheap before the next day’s delivery comes. Third, in my mind, end of financial year bargains don’t just apply to office stationery and last season’s clothing, it definitely also applies to food, probably. Now come on, I’m going to show you boys a lesson’.

See, they really want that sale. Shmucks here I tell ya’. We’ve got them right where we want them, boys

With that, Vafa invited us to dine with him at the Tea Tree Plaza Caffe Primo at 9pm on Sunday the 30th of June to see this “master of the barter” (he told us several times to make sure we wrote that down) in action. 

Sitting down as most diners were finishing their dessert, we were instructed by Vafa not to look at the menu at all. ‘Don’t show even the slightest bit of interest in the food. Implying you’re happy to look elsewhere to invest your money is a smart move that will get them to bring out their best offers’.

When sharply urged by the waiter 45 minutes later that we had to order now as the kitchen was closing and staff wanted to go home, Vafa quipped to us ‘See, they really want that sale. Shmucks here I tell ya’. We’ve got them right where we want them, boys’.

We spent the next half hour watching Vafa in his element trying every haggling trick in the book attempting to get a $9.90 Penne Alla Panna. Everything from “I know the owner” and “My cousin works here” to “Don’t you know who I am?” and “Come by the Parafield store tomorrow and I’ll hook you up with the best deal on a rug in town” were dropped in conversation between various Haggle Co jingles being recited.

Eventually, with both parties admitting defeat, and the waiter somewhat enticed by a cheap Persian hall-runner, Vafa and the waiter finally settled on the Shop-A-Docket Pizza Special with some leftover garlic bread that we’re pretty confident came from another table.

Not one to show any loss, Vafa Barterolli concluded ‘Another haggling triumph! Look, in the end, I couldn’t get them down to the classic $9.90, but my bartering efforts definitely weren’t wasted. I didn’t even have the Shop-A-Docket voucher! And just on the down-low, they gave me this free takeaway pancake. Pretty good, hey? I’m pretty sure not every customer gets that, although mine does seem to be topped with what seems like a mix of golden syrup and saliva. Now, who’s keen to kick on? You’ve learnt the art of the haggle, so I reckon you could get us some 30 cent softserve cones from the Ridgehaven Hungry Jacks’.

We didn’t.

Related Posts

Cunningham’s Warehouse guy comes out of retirement to spruik OTR petrol

21 October, 2021

21 October, 2021

With premium petrol prices rising to $2 a litre this week, Geoff Winter, the 1990’s South Australian variety store commercial...

We rank Adelaide’s best TikTok stars

29 June, 2021

29 June, 2021

Whether they’re annoying shoppers while filming cringey shit in Rundle Mall or thinking their videos actually get that many views,...

All we want to know about the SkyCity Casino upgrade is if they’ve brought back the horse racing game

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The new upgraded section of the SkyCity Adelaide casino has opened and it seems they’re letting all local media in...

90% of new Mortal Kombat movie just CCTV footage from Hindley Street

16 May, 2019

16 May, 2019

Adelaide is set to become a key piece of cinematic history, with the long-awaited follow-up to 1995’s Mortal Kombat to...

UniSA law student happy to let you keep thinking he goes to Adelaide

23 May, 2019

23 May, 2019

Despite typically jumping to the defence of UniSA’s law degree, Esteban Cornbox is not in any hurry to correct you...

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

Burnside teen reports child abuse after dad refuses to buy her BMW X3

28 August, 2019

28 August, 2019

A 16-year-old Burnside girl has resorted to reporting her father to the Department for Child Protection after he refused to...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

“Menz” Confectionery to change name to “Personz”

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020 1

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD?: In a bid to gain greater market share and simultaneously not offend anyone, Menz Confectionery, the creator...

Former Unley High student goes whole day without mentioning that Julia Gillard went to Unley

15 November, 2018

15 November, 2018

Friends and family of former Unley High School student Matthew Drorting are relieved today following 24 hours of Drorting’s self-imposed...

Ken Hinkley spotted scouting Tea Tree Gully over 35’s Masters team for better talent

2 April, 2022

2 April, 2022

After starting the season with three straight losses including a Showdown loss against a team who “can’t handball and can’t...

How many of these top 10 ultimate 90’s Adelaide moments do you remember?

13 August, 2020

13 August, 2020

NOT CLICKBAIT! The top 10 90's Adelaide moments.

Noel’s Caravans jingle tops SA reggae charts for 728th consecutive week

19 October, 2018

19 October, 2018

For over a decade the laid back calypso beats and offbeat feeling of the Noel’s Caravans jingle has been so...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: