Organisers of this year’s Adelaide Christmas Pageant are hoping that nobody in the 300,000-strong crowd noticed the subtle break in tradition in the float that closed this year’s parade.
Due to what Adelaide Mail understands was either a booking error or an extremely bold attempt at cutting labour costs, the customary overweight, middle-aged man was overlooked and replaced with millions of head lice for the role of Father Christmas.
‘We can assure you it was not an exercise in cutting labour costs,’ says Pageant Manager and Head of Marching Band Uniform Creasing Louise DeLouse.
‘Those lice are not cheap, let me tell you. As the old saying goes: “nobody unionises like millions of ectoparasites looking for a human scalp”, you know? The way they work together is, frankly, enviable, kids could learn a lot from those insects.
‘In fact, I’m encouraging all children this year to really get up nice and close to the lice. Study what they’re doing, really put their heads together with Father Christmas to make sure they’re learning from him.’
Meanwhile, children visiting the Magic Cave are being told to amend their wishes to a bottle of tea tree oil, an ultra fine tooth comb and a new pillowcase.
Despite the break from the traditional Father Christmas, critics are calling this year’s Pageant the “best on record” with many pointing to the noticeable reduction in scalp blood lying around this year’s pageant route.
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