30 November, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Changes to medi-hotel rules means no more licking guests in quarantine without a permit

TRENT BARTLETT

It has been a tradition in South Australia since the nineteenth century, but one stroke of a pen has relegated it to the dustbin of history.

From midnight tonight, security guards at the state’s medi-hotel facilities will no longer be allowed to lick quarantine guests unless they have been given express written consent from the Department of Licking Infectious Citizens (D LIC).

The tradition of licking the cheeks and noses of those arriving in Australia from overseas began on Torrens Island as a celebration for the opening of the state’s first permanent quarantine station in 1879.

Then South Australian Governor Sir William Jervois is thought to have accidentally started the tradition while eating a Paddle Pop during the official opening ceremony of the quarantine station.

The story goes that a banana Paddle Pop became stuck in Jervois’s, frankly ridiculous, moustache. With both hands full (the Governor was stuck holding a bunch of succulent clippings that he planned on cultivating on the balcony of his city apartment), he attempted to free the Paddle Pop using his tongue.

A confused German passenger who was about to commence his quarantine, assumed that the Governor’s tongue was a symbolic gesture from the Vice-Regal and offered his cheek.

It’s a well-known story, and we won’t bore you with any more of the details.

Now, security guards, cleaners and governors alike will no longer be permitted to partake in this traditional celebration that had, until now, kicked off every South Australian quarantine.

Unless of course people fill out their D LIC online form at least 24 hours in advance with one form of identification and promise that they definitely don’t have coronavirus.

It’s political correctness gone mad.

Tags: in Life, News
Related Posts

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

13 August, 2018

13 August, 2018

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns...

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

EXPOSED: Ancestry DNA shows Adelaide not even related to “Sister Cities”

12 February, 2020

12 February, 2020

MATT FREEMAN The Adelaide City Council has attempted to stop all those naysayers that say “Sister Cities” is some meaningless...

4 hour parking limit very optimistic about people’s desire to spend their time at Colonnades

27 August, 2020

27 August, 2020

One of Adelaide’s southern suburbs shopping and smoking centres has come under scrutiny around its imposed parking limit times. Colonnades...

Joe reveals how he keeps the prices so low: all the appliances are just chocolate wrapped in foil

3 November, 2021

3 November, 2021

As the proprietor of an inner-suburban discount electrical store it would come as no surprise to you that Joe [last...

Bogged Popeye blocks River Torrens trade route

25 March, 2021

25 March, 2021

One of South Australia’s most tolerated icons has found itself stuck in Adelaide’s main trade route, the River Torrens. Causing...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

90s Toyota Commercial still killing it at every SA Caravan Park

29 November, 2019

29 November, 2019

The 20th annual Caravan Recreation Area Park comedy awards were held at Lake Bonney last weekend, with one classic comedy...

Mum comments “shared 5162” like her 27 Facebook friends cover all of Morphett Vale

2 October, 2020

2 October, 2020

A Morphett Vale Facebook mum has been hailed as a hero after letting people know she has shared a Facebook...

PAC old scholar furious at suggestion he went to Saints

10 September, 2018

10 September, 2018

An enraged former student of Adelaide’s prestigious Prince Alfred College has slammed suggestions that he attended the equally-esteemed St Peter’s...

Advertiser censors front page advertisement

21 October, 2019

21 October, 2019

Putting up a united front against secrecy and journalistic censorship, South Australia’s leading satirical news service has joined multiple papers...

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

Election announced: Someone in Mt Barker orders 1,000 novelty cheques

11 April, 2019

11 April, 2019

Following the announcement from acting Prime Minister Scott Morrison that Australians will go to the polls on May 18th, somebody...

North Adelaide resident whinging about having nothing to whinge about

18 June, 2020

18 June, 2020

MATT FREEMAN The Adelaide Oval Stadium Management Authority isn’t the only one suffering with the lack of crowds at Adelaide...

Victor Harbor opens new Youth Centre for local adolescents aged 55-70

9 July, 2018

9 July, 2018

In an attempt at engaging the region’s younger demographic, Victor Harbor has launched a hip new hangout for residents born...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: