6 October, 2022

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running.

In the middle of a long-winded soliloquy about the brain-bending bargains that can only be found upstairs at City Cross today only, Ratta spotted a man he thought he recognised from a band that he once played a gig with sixteen years ago.

Fabulous savings and fabulous to see you again

‘Well if it isn’t big Jase Quickfingers, Rebel Sport has an astonishing fifteen per cent off all activewear’, Ratta said as he started his conversation with a man trying his best to avoid eye contact.

‘Get in store now, you’d be silly not to, still playing that Gretsch? Beautiful guitar that one, beautiful tone and beautiful bargains in store at Rebel Sport this weekend only’.

‘And how are the boys? Still playing soccer for Campbelltown? You ought pick up some new boots for them, twenty per cent off footy boots and, get this, socks…five bucks. Alright mate, you’ll have to bring the guitar down next time, plug into the old five watt Peavey here, out the front of Rebel Sport, City Cross arcade. Fabulous savings and fabulous to see you again’.

The passing pedestrian had never met Ratta in his life.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Port Power to continue playing to empty stadiums amid crowd ban

11 March, 2020

11 March, 2020

TOM STEWART Port Power are reportedly excited for “business as usual” this season, as the AFL is speculated to announce...

Zoran Matic, Damian Mori & Alex Tobin assemble crack team to lure Messi to Adelaide City

26 August, 2020

26 August, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With Lionel Messi announcing his intention to leave Barcelona immediately, the world’s premiere football clubs have already thrown...

Magic Cave now just a ‘Magic 3 x 4 metre room’

19 November, 2018

19 November, 2018

Budget cuts and declining sponsors have hit the Magic Cave hard this year, with Santa and his entire grotto allocated...

OTR revise plans for HQ after helipad complaints; Now it’s just a giant Monty Python foot stomping on the eastern suburbs

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

Our omnipotent overlords at Peregrine Corporation have signalled that they’re ready to negotiate on plans for a new head office...

Yatala Vale resident tired of explaining it’s nowhere near the prison

14 February, 2020

14 February, 2020

A resident of Yatala Vale, a picturesque semi-rural suburb in Adelaide’s outer north-east, is fed up being asked if she...

Ken Hinkley spotted scouting Tea Tree Gully over 35’s Masters team for better talent

2 April, 2022

2 April, 2022

After starting the season with three straight losses including a Showdown loss against a team who “can’t handball and can’t...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

1 September, 2020

1 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South...

Business on former site of Barnacle Bill is not fooling anyone

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Editor’s note: The most knowledgeable person on all things South Australian (that we know about, at least) Dave Walsh has...

New “Farmers Onion” Iced Coffee flavour only popular with one man

29 October, 2019

29 October, 2019

In a bold new move by South Australia’s highest selling beverage company, the new Farmer’s Union, “Farmer’s Onion” Iced Coffee...

Adelaide Crows launch their own heritage campaign: “Bring Back The Jars”

3 May, 2021

3 May, 2021

Much alike Port Adelaide Football Club (est. 1997), the Adelaide Crows have launched their own heritage campaign in an attempt...

Jase reckons he could have his own Fringe show, mates agree

18 February, 2019

18 February, 2019

After having watched exactly 275 minutes of stand up comedy in his life, Jason ‘Jase’ Breadhand became convinced of his...

Ingenious Toolie crudely changes 13 to 18 on his Year 12 jumper

25 November, 2018

25 November, 2018

In a surprisingly genius move, particularly from a Modbury High graduate, 23 year old Sam ‘Zombie’ Zommers has pulled off...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: