26 May, 2022

Ardrossan jetty regulars can spot these city slickers a mile away

When Goodwood couple Kate and Darren Bovril decided they fancied a nice, peaceful day catching some crabs, they were convinced that they would fit in fine at just about any country South Australian jetty. 

Having watched about a third of a terribly-edited and almost inaudible YouTube video on a channel called Blue Swimer Crabs SA, the couple were almost sarcastically confident and packed the car to head straight to somewhere called Ardrossan. Which, according to Google Maps was about a 2 hour drive away, if you allowed for a brief detour to the nearest BCF.

‘We’ve both spent a fair bit of time in country SA. Clare, Tanunda, McLaren Vale, the Hills. Hell, we’ve even bloody roughed in the Coonawarra’, says Darren while dressed in his understanding of South Australian country attire: polished RM Williams boots, RM Williams belt, a pair of Levis 405s, RM Williams t-shirt and a fresh-off-the-shelf Akubra.

No SUV parking? That just makes no sense to me. The Audi Q8 is your typical bush-basher

‘So I knew I’d fit right in at somewhere like Ardrossan, Kate maybe not. She’s a little bit more precious…hey, do you know if these hats go okay in direct sun, by the way? I don’t want it getting ruined’.

However, from the moment the couple parked at the jetty, they knew it wasn’t going to be quite so easy to win over the locals. 

‘No SUV parking? That just makes no sense to me. The Audi Q8 is your typical bush-basher, so I don’t know why the car parks are so narrow. Just parked across two though, don’t want some bogan in a Commodore dinging our door. Yeah I’m talking about you, mate’.

While they struggled to hastily remove price tags and cable ties from the new crab nets, bait clips and buckets, a local tried to engage the couple in some friendly jetty banter.

‘None left, mate. They’ve caught ‘em all’, said one local while smirking and hoping for a bit of amiable back-and-forth.

‘What’d he say?’, Kate asked Darren. ‘Did he say they’ve caught them all? Bloody hell! See, I told you we should have just gone to Golden Boy and got the soft shell crab from there. At least I wouldn’t have had to interact with these scum buckets. Yeah I’m talking to you, mate’.

in News, Travel
Related Posts

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

Modbury Triangle celebrates 14th shopper of 2020

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

In what has been an admittedly slower year for one of the smaller metropolitan shopping outlets, Modbury Triangle Shopping Centre...

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Pandemic revealed to be just another classic gotcha call that got out-of-hand

17 May, 2020

17 May, 2020

Everybody loves a prank, right? From children on YouTube staging murders to brands pretending that they’re selling a new product...

Victorians look to Adelaide for tips on how to shut down entire city by 8pm every night

10 August, 2020

10 August, 2020 4

TRENT BARTLETT As Melbourne continues to get themselves home no later than 8pm, Victorians have been looking across the border...

Next 8 hours of office chat reserved for ‘that weather last night’

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

When the most interesting thing to happen to the typical office employee between the hours of 5pm and 9am is...

‘The Advertiser site really needs more autoplaying videos’, says idiot

7 February, 2019

7 February, 2019

Not content with the dozens of relentless display ads and ‘native’ articles masquerading as journalism, The Advertiser has employed idiot...

Nu-Metal band sees potential in Adelaide Real Estate Market

6 June, 2019

6 June, 2019

With the Adelaide Real Estate market still representing great value for investors and first home buyers, a new agency established...

Desperate $5 Fringe show now accepting AfterPay

13 March, 2019

13 March, 2019

Photo credit: Abi Skipp Following several weeks of lower-than-expected ticket sales, the Garden of Unearthly Delights’ cheapest ticketed show — The...

Gawler line revealed to have nation’s lowest headphones-to-phone ratio

8 October, 2019

8 October, 2019

A new study has revealed that Adelaide’s northernmost train line leads the country in instances of mobile phones playing loud,...

CBD skateboarders disappointed at lack of actual ramp outside RAH

9 November, 2018

9 November, 2018

Dozens of skateboarders gathered outside the Royal Adelaide Hospital Emergency Department yesterday as news spread about a new ramp near...

Mysterious combination of words unable to be deciphered by South Australians

8 August, 2018

8 August, 2018

Strange and possibly cryptic signs have been posted alongside South Australian major roads and highways. However, it is yet to...

Local tweaker very disappointed with “OG Speed Shop”

29 July, 2020

29 July, 2020

Local jaw-clenching and awake enthusiast, Aymon DeGear has voiced his disappointment with a Klemzig service station, claiming they are falsely...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

REVEALED: Pelicans actually prefer to shop at TTP

13 November, 2019

13 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: