28 May, 2023

Ardrossan jetty regulars can spot these city slickers a mile away

When Goodwood couple Kate and Darren Bovril decided they fancied a nice, peaceful day catching some crabs, they were convinced that they would fit in fine at just about any country South Australian jetty. 

Having watched about a third of a terribly-edited and almost inaudible YouTube video on a channel called Blue Swimer Crabs SA, the couple were almost sarcastically confident and packed the car to head straight to somewhere called Ardrossan. Which, according to Google Maps was about a 2 hour drive away, if you allowed for a brief detour to the nearest BCF.

‘We’ve both spent a fair bit of time in country SA. Clare, Tanunda, McLaren Vale, the Hills. Hell, we’ve even bloody roughed in the Coonawarra’, says Darren while dressed in his understanding of South Australian country attire: polished RM Williams boots, RM Williams belt, a pair of Levis 405s, RM Williams t-shirt and a fresh-off-the-shelf Akubra.

No SUV parking? That just makes no sense to me. The Audi Q8 is your typical bush-basher

‘So I knew I’d fit right in at somewhere like Ardrossan, Kate maybe not. She’s a little bit more precious…hey, do you know if these hats go okay in direct sun, by the way? I don’t want it getting ruined’.

However, from the moment the couple parked at the jetty, they knew it wasn’t going to be quite so easy to win over the locals. 

‘No SUV parking? That just makes no sense to me. The Audi Q8 is your typical bush-basher, so I don’t know why the car parks are so narrow. Just parked across two though, don’t want some bogan in a Commodore dinging our door. Yeah I’m talking about you, mate’.

While they struggled to hastily remove price tags and cable ties from the new crab nets, bait clips and buckets, a local tried to engage the couple in some friendly jetty banter.

‘None left, mate. They’ve caught ‘em all’, said one local while smirking and hoping for a bit of amiable back-and-forth.

‘What’d he say?’, Kate asked Darren. ‘Did he say they’ve caught them all? Bloody hell! See, I told you we should have just gone to Golden Boy and got the soft shell crab from there. At least I wouldn’t have had to interact with these scum buckets. Yeah I’m talking to you, mate’.

in News, Travel
Related Posts

Humphrey B Bear says cancel culture has killed opportunities for mute, pantsless bears on TV

22 March, 2021

22 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Australia’s most famous boater hat-wearing anthropomorphic bear has broken his decades-long silence to add to the chorus of...

Crows family members plead for exemption to leave South Australia after sons’ 2020 season

25 September, 2020

25 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Following the decision by health authorities to allow Port Power family members into SA on a special exemption...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Kane Cornes called us a thief just because we broke into his house and stole stuff

13 February, 2020

13 February, 2020

Now, we’re not ones to typically use this platform to air grievances about petty disputes with our fellow K-grade Adelaide...

Next season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ to actually be set in Adelaide’s premier suburb of Paradise

24 August, 2018

24 August, 2018

Due to excessive helicopter use and a vast majority of the budget being spent on Osher’s hair, Channel 10 executives have...

Golden Grove resident protests removal of trees

17 January, 2020

17 January, 2020

As news breaks that over 180 trees will be removed from the streets of Golden Grove, one resident is doing...

Residents of Shithöle angered at being compared to Adelaide

25 September, 2019

25 September, 2019

The small village of Shithöle lies somewhere along the Eastern European poverty belt’s poverty belt, near the disputed border of...

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

14 October, 2018

14 October, 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop...

Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

18 November, 2020

18 November, 2020

South Australia’s Psychic and Body Odour festival has once again been cancelled due to events that nobody saw coming. This...

Joe reveals how he keeps the prices so low: all the appliances are just chocolate wrapped in foil

3 November, 2021

3 November, 2021

As the proprietor of an inner-suburban discount electrical store it would come as no surprise to you that Joe [last...

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

New SA retail forecast in: All Rundle Mall shops to shut by 2021

21 February, 2020

21 February, 2020

The latest numbers are in for South Australia’s economy, and it’s not good news for the state’s struggling retail sector....

Even at Cudlee Creek “Free Hugs” guy still seems very creepy

16 January, 2020

16 January, 2020

CUDDLY CREEP: At a time where most South Australians are selflessly coming together to support those affected by bushfires, one...

Adelaide in midst of annual coloured chalk shortage

7 November, 2018

7 November, 2018

‘Tis the season for Christmas pageants throughout the state, and with that comes the yearly coloured chalk supply shortage. Parents...

4 hour parking limit very optimistic about people’s desire to spend their time at Colonnades

27 August, 2020

27 August, 2020

One of Adelaide’s southern suburbs shopping and smoking centres has come under scrutiny around its imposed parking limit times. Colonnades...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: