14 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Gepps Cross Home HQ responsible for 30% of SA divorces

DAN SCHMIDT

Researchers have found that nearly a third of all South Australian divorces can be contributed directly to a single source, the Gepps X Homemaker Centre.

It seems that many couples who venture into the incredibly poorly designed outlet will either leave fighting, angry, divorced, or perhaps even worse, with a bunch of shit from Harris Scarfe that they didn’t need anyway.

“We’ll just walk to the next shop.”

“No, it’s too far and hard to cross traffic, let’s drive.”

“No, let’s walk, the parking here sucks.”

“But I don’t want to walk back!”

“And I don’t want to be married any more!”

Whilst the allure of an array of household goods at regular retail prices all in one extremely vast place is enticing for young homeowners and other idiots, many shoppers don’t realise the immense toll that looking looking at flooring, furniture and whitegoods will have on a relationship.

Marriage experts recommend attending only on a full stomach and just picking the first thing you see that looks decent enough, much like you did when selecting a partner.

Related Posts

Exhumation of Somerton Man reveals hundreds of awful new true crime podcasts

19 May, 2021

19 May, 2021 2

Today in West Terrace cemetery, detectives with nothing better to do with their time will pull a dead man’s remains...

Entire city somehow surprised by annual road closures again

26 February, 2019

26 February, 2019

Despite a predictable schedule of annual road closures preceded by road signs forewarning motorists weeks in advance, the entire population...

South Australians tipped to consume $3bn worth of Zooper Doopers today

24 January, 2019

24 January, 2019

While many today will be doing their best to not think about just how high the mercury is expected to...

Windy Point actually pronounced “Wine-dee” point because of the winding route to get there

15 November, 2019

15 November, 2019

Windy Point – You’re all saying it wrong! It turns out that we’ve all been saying the name of Adelaide’s...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

New sports radio station 1629 SEN releases coverage map

10 December, 2018

10 December, 2018

Following questions about the breadth of new sports-only radio station SEN’s broadcast coverage, the fledgling station has released a comprehensive...

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Adelaide Remember When: Sir Douglas Mawson became the first man to climb Magic Mountain

6 September, 2021

6 September, 2021

The year was 1915 when geologist and explorer Sir Douglas Mawson had just returned from his famous Australasian Antarctic Exhibition...

COMPROMISE FOUND: SA Govt to install new tram that ONLY turns right

20 November, 2018

20 November, 2018

After months of deliberation, studies and costings, Transport Minister Stephan Knoll announced on Sunday that the right-hand turn for trams...

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Golden Grove resident protests removal of trees

17 January, 2020

17 January, 2020

As news breaks that over 180 trees will be removed from the streets of Golden Grove, one resident is doing...

Guy’s life definitely peaked in Year 5 when Deane Hutton picked him to help

16 April, 2020

16 April, 2020

Over twenty years years ago at Pennington Primary, the entire school had gathered to witness the grandest honour that could...

Lucy Cornes confronts Martin Scorsese for stealing that Goodfellas tracking shot from her

10 February, 2020

10 February, 2020

Founder of digital marketing agency She Digital and self-described ‘Spiritual Being’ Lucy Cornes has taken to social media to accuse...

AdBlocker removes entire AdelaideNow website

22 July, 2019

22 July, 2019

As Gavin Alook was searching for an old news article about the time his school actually figured out what the...

New SA tourism campaign just a 5 day live stream of weeping widow

2 September, 2019

2 September, 2019

South Australia’s tourism commission has unveiled a new marketing concept that is equal parts depressing and long, the two key...

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading