23 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Satirical news site runs out of TV commercials to rank, now completely out of ideas

TRENT BARTLETT

South Australia’s second favourite source of fake news has been revealed for the sham that it is, with a tournament of television jingles masquerading as an idea making way for a complete dearth of any original thoughts or observations.

While those behind this site contend that the competition in which local businesses’ songs are pitted against other local businesses’ songs was somehow satirising South Australians’ preference for consumerism over culture, we are able to reveal that the competition was merely a thinly veiled cloak for a lack of talent or creativity.

And while those at Adelaide Mail might pretend that a ham-fisted attempt at ironic self-awareness in an article such as this one lets them off the hook for failing to do the very thing they are supposed to do, (ie. be funny, apparently) the writers of this article know better than to fall for that one.

Experts are warning the public to be suspicious of any attempts to deflect a serious lack of original thoughts with an article such as this. However, those experts also have little faith in the general public ever since they voted against Noel’s Caravans.

Readers are warned to look out for the tell-tale signs of Adelaide Mail completely running out of new ideas. They come in the form of: spurious articles about the north-eastern suburbs, articles that were clearly just copied from a Seinfeld script except all references to Kramer were replaced with the word O-Bahn, an undignified attack on Shit Adelaide, an undignified attack on Caleb Bond, an undignified attack on The Advertiser or any article criticising a service station giant that is hastily removed in mysterious circumstances.

in News
Related Posts

Burnside teen reports child abuse after dad refuses to buy her BMW X3

28 August, 2019

28 August, 2019

A 16-year-old Burnside girl has resorted to reporting her father to the Department for Child Protection after he refused to...

Frequent Marion shopper develops sophisticated algorithm to avoid charity workers

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Rosaline Baker, 56, of Warradale enjoys nothing more than a good shopping spree at nearby Westfield Marion. It’s local, convenient...

Qualified “Doctor” finally weighs in on Aliir Aliir controversy

31 July, 2023

31 July, 2023

TOM STEWART An eastern suburbs doctor has added his opinion to the growing public controversy over Aliir Aliir’s head knock...

Private school alumni excited for not watching cricket season

20 October, 2020

20 October, 2020

As football season has wrapped up for the state of South Australia, the attention of Adelaide’s private school alumni turns...

Nobody really sure if the Red Tins thing is sarcastic or not

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

From twenty-somethings happily sharing the same beer with their fathers to bar owners happily off-loading their surplus of West End...

South Aussies to ask ‘Keeping Cool?’ a record 47 billion times today

20 November, 2019

20 November, 2019

With Adelaide bracing for its hottest day since March, Adelaideans are readying themselves for an onslaught of inquisitiveness about the...

Move over Mods! This wrestler’s changing his name to Ian Perrie in tribute of the OTHER Crows legend

29 October, 2020

29 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Earlier this week it was revealed that a WWE wrestler had changed his name to that of former...

90% of new Mortal Kombat movie just CCTV footage from Hindley Street

16 May, 2019

16 May, 2019

Adelaide is set to become a key piece of cinematic history, with the long-awaited follow-up to 1995’s Mortal Kombat to...

Guy who always tries James Congdon South Road shortcut reckons it works almost half the time

17 July, 2024

17 July, 2024

Local man of impatience, Aaron Gunt, has once again fallen victim to his own hubris and cockheadedness at the intersection...

Local dealer making absolute bank thanks to Illuminate Adelaide

8 July, 2022

8 July, 2022

Adelaide’s festival of lights (the non-religious one) has unintentionally stimulated the local economy, according to local stimulant economists. Adelaide Mail...

Next round of JobKeeper payments to be means-tested on whether your family can afford this milk

3 September, 2020

3 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With Commonwealth funds rapidly running out due to the decisions of a welfare-obsessed, handout-crazed Federal Labor government, Treasury...

Bloke ordering a Halal Snack Pack at Adelaide yiros shop might as well be speaking another language

31 January, 2020

31 January, 2020

A tourist visiting from Sydney’s Newtown has confounded the owner of a North Adelaide yiros shop by attempting to order...

OTR owners to install giant sun-blocking device over Adelaide

18 December, 2018

18 December, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have proposed an eternal solution to guaranteeing demand for 24/7 convenience stores and...

AFP raids Adelaide Mail offices only to find Xavier Minniecon

5 June, 2019

5 June, 2019

One year after publishing a damning exposé on the existence of the fictional suburb Kingswood, Australian Federal Police officers have...

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

TRENT BARTLETT Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading