1 October, 2023

Satirical news site runs out of TV commercials to rank, now completely out of ideas

TRENT BARTLETT

South Australia’s second favourite source of fake news has been revealed for the sham that it is, with a tournament of television jingles masquerading as an idea making way for a complete dearth of any original thoughts or observations.

While those behind this site contend that the competition in which local businesses’ songs are pitted against other local businesses’ songs was somehow satirising South Australians’ preference for consumerism over culture, we are able to reveal that the competition was merely a thinly veiled cloak for a lack of talent or creativity.

And while those at Adelaide Mail might pretend that a ham-fisted attempt at ironic self-awareness in an article such as this one lets them off the hook for failing to do the very thing they are supposed to do, (ie. be funny, apparently) the writers of this article know better than to fall for that one.

Experts are warning the public to be suspicious of any attempts to deflect a serious lack of original thoughts with an article such as this. However, those experts also have little faith in the general public ever since they voted against Noel’s Caravans.

Readers are warned to look out for the tell-tale signs of Adelaide Mail completely running out of new ideas. They come in the form of: spurious articles about the north-eastern suburbs, articles that were clearly just copied from a Seinfeld script except all references to Kramer were replaced with the word O-Bahn, an undignified attack on Shit Adelaide, an undignified attack on Caleb Bond, an undignified attack on The Advertiser or any article criticising a service station giant that is hastily removed in mysterious circumstances.

in News
Related Posts

You can still take the kids to Puzzle Park this school holidays, it’s now somehow safer

8 July, 2020

8 July, 2020

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

Suburb of Devon Park to be renamed Fritz Park

7 January, 2019

7 January, 2019

In an act of South Australian patriotism, a successful campaign by residents has led to the inner north suburb of...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

Sign at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre explains a lot about North Eastern suburbs fashion

6 February, 2020

6 February, 2020

A sign proclaiming Ingle Farm Shopping Centre to be ‘your local place for fashion’ has been found to offer an...

Peter Van the Party Man really just wants a quiet night in with the kids

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

It’s been over thirty years of non-stop debauchery for Goodwood Road’s most-famous party man Peter Van, but his days of...

Has COVID finally gone too far? Now The Planet nightclub is being demolished

27 October, 2020

27 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT The COVID-19 pandemic has taken more than its fair share of scalps in South Australia. The West End...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

22 December, 2019

22 December, 2019

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of...

REVEALED: Chicken Chef actually only qualified as a Kitchenhand

4 November, 2019

4 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

Oakbank Racing Club releases At-Home Horse Euthanasia Kit for those missing the Easter carnival

12 April, 2020

12 April, 2020

Organisers of the annual Oakbank Easter Carnival are looking at novel ways to give punters a way to enjoy all...

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Oh no! Someone confused “Emo Park” with “Emu Park”, let a bunch of emus loose and now it’s even worse

3 December, 2021

3 December, 2021

Adelaide’s most depressing piece of parkland has seen more mayhem than usual today, with an unexpected yet understandable mix-up resulting...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: