25 May, 2022

Satirical news site runs out of TV commercials to rank, now completely out of ideas

TRENT BARTLETT

South Australia’s second favourite source of fake news has been revealed for the sham that it is, with a tournament of television jingles masquerading as an idea making way for a complete dearth of any original thoughts or observations.

While those behind this site contend that the competition in which local businesses’ songs are pitted against other local businesses’ songs was somehow satirising South Australians’ preference for consumerism over culture, we are able to reveal that the competition was merely a thinly veiled cloak for a lack of talent or creativity.

And while those at Adelaide Mail might pretend that a ham-fisted attempt at ironic self-awareness in an article such as this one lets them off the hook for failing to do the very thing they are supposed to do, (ie. be funny, apparently) the writers of this article know better than to fall for that one.

Experts are warning the public to be suspicious of any attempts to deflect a serious lack of original thoughts with an article such as this. However, those experts also have little faith in the general public ever since they voted against Noel’s Caravans.

Readers are warned to look out for the tell-tale signs of Adelaide Mail completely running out of new ideas. They come in the form of: spurious articles about the north-eastern suburbs, articles that were clearly just copied from a Seinfeld script except all references to Kramer were replaced with the word O-Bahn, an undignified attack on Shit Adelaide, an undignified attack on Caleb Bond, an undignified attack on The Advertiser or any article criticising a service station giant that is hastily removed in mysterious circumstances.

in News
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