Guy who always tries James Congdon South Road shortcut reckons it works almost half the time

DAN SCHMIDT

Local man of impatience, Aaron Gunt, has once again fallen victim to his own hubris and cockheadedness at the intersection of James Congdon Drive and South Road.

‘See the trick here is I after I pass the Mile End Bunnings, I take that little side street that leads to London Road and whip back out on to South Road’ Aaron yelled from his raised dual-cab-tiny-tray whatever at Adelaide Mail reporters who were actually on the scene to investigate why the Vili’s digital temperature display is never even close to correct.

‘That way I get to go around all the suckers who are backed up at the lights, while I get a “Turn Left With Care” straight back on to South Road’.

‘I mean, that’s the plan anyway. The lights must have mistimed my run this morning so I’ve been held up here and cars are actually passing me’, said the frustrated little man.

‘But they’re the idiots. I usually save heaps of time by doing this and slightly inconveniencing everyone else for my own minor benefit’ Aaron continued, impatiently never taking his eyes off the lights.

‘They’re definitely not laughing at me as they pass because they saw me try to do this. That’s for sure, I’m just saying. Even if they are, they’re just being inconsiderate because they don’t know how to drive like me’.

‘Anyway, there goes the light finally. Got to go, I’m more important than you!’ yelled a vastly accelerating Aaron.

It is reported he then tried to cut inside the left-hand lane to get ahead of a single car as lanes merged after Richmond Road.