16 January, 2022 South Australia's other fake news source

“Emo Park” rebrands as “Ska Park” in attempt to brighten reputation

The north-western pocket of Hindmarsh square has always been a strange place. Along with being home to what was awarded World’s Most Depressing Kid’s Playground 2008, it was also a popular meeting place for teenage emo kids in the early 2000’s.

Since gaining this somewhat deserved dark and dreary reputation, the colloquial name “Emo Park” has continued to stick, even long after the emo scene subculture and My Chemical Romance disbanded.

However, aligning with Adelaide City Council’s ‘re-activate, re-invigorate, and re-stigmatise’ action plan for the many depressing city parklands, a bold attempt to rebrand the park as “Ska Park” is currently in process.

Emo is dull, we wanted something everyone can enjoy, something upbeat, something, dare I say…Special. That’s why we’ve decided to make it “Ska Park”

Initially, community focus groups were all in favour for the change, as they thought the council said “car park”. However, once concept plans were revealed, residents were somewhat disappointed and generally confused.

Head of Adelaide Council parkland genre-reclassification Rudie Bois stated ‘Emo is dull, we wanted something everyone can enjoy, something upbeat, something, dare I say…Special. That’s why we’ve decided to make it “Ska Park”’.

The initial plans for Ska Park include painting all benches in a black and white checkerboard pattern, walkways to include a Skanking lane on the left, and employing the dozen or so local teenagers who still listen to ska to hang out at the park on a casual shift basis. It’s also rumored that local ska band “Daughter of Mum” are set to reform and play at the grand re-opening.

Some locals have deemed these plans as “Madness”, but Bois from Council remains hopeful ‘sure, some people will clash over the proposed changes, but once residents see it, I have No Doubt that Ska Park will become extremely popular for a very brief period’ stated Rudie.

‘This will be a whole new “wave” for the park, we’ll be installing new streetlights, our horticultural team will undertake an operation to plant new ivy, it will truly be a sublime place. Aside from that most of the park will stay the same, and obviously we’ll be keeping the Fishbone monument. I mean, it wouldn’t be a Ska Park without a real big fish’.

Adelaide Mail sent a message to Rudie late yesterday evening regarding an update on the project, to which he replied “Final proposal plans for Ska Park have just been submitted to my manager Tony. He’s a mighty boss, Tones. So knock on wood he will pick it up”.

Related Posts

Road workers bored with South Road, add some sick jumps to Blackwood roundabout instead

17 July, 2020

17 July, 2020

F**K IT FRIDAY: For generations road “workers” have been “working” on South Road in a quest to make some sort...

SA called ‘Beggar State’ by Senator literally begging for money on GoFundMe

14 November, 2018

14 November, 2018

NSW Senator David Leyonhjelm has described South Australia as a “beggar state” that should be thrown out of the Australian...

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

Maybe let’s also discuss changing the name of “Blackfellows Creek”

26 January, 2020

26 January, 2020

With discussions of changing the date of Australia Day firing up once again, some South Australians are focusing their energy...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

Mix 102.3 accidentally goes 15 minutes without playing Smash Mouth

13 December, 2019

13 December, 2019

In an unfortunate series of mistakes that may cost Mix 102.3 in the year’s final round of radio ratings, the...

SA Dentists host annual Farmers Union Iced Coffee appreciation night

9 December, 2019

9 December, 2019

South Australia’s dentists gathered for their industry’s night of nights on Saturday night, with their annual Farmers Union Thanksgiving Dinner....

Local woman’s life about as organised as Midnight Pharmacy

9 July, 2021

9 July, 2021

Local hot mess and ‘it’ girl (‘it’ meaning ‘shambolic’) Kay Otik’s life has taken yet another dramatic turn in a...

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

13 August, 2018

13 August, 2018

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

New “DogKeeper” package grants people $10,000 in Dogs Dollars for rent or Smirnoff Double Blacks

27 July, 2020

27 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As South Australia grapples with the ongoing economic impact of COVID-19, the Federal Government has moved to stimulate...

Easter weekend marks beginning of ‘Be afraid to wear your Kathmandu jacket in public’ season

11 April, 2020

11 April, 2020

It’s easy to forget that Easter carries with it a deeper, important meaning for so many in our community. For...

Port Elliot millennials start petition to change name of Boomer Beach

22 November, 2019

22 November, 2019

Undertaking the ultimate form of slacktivism, Port Elliot’s entire millennial population (a total of sixteen residents) have started an online...

Comments

Leave a Reply to FACT: It’s called “Emo Park” because it’s the most depressing place in Adelaide – Adelaide Mail Cancel reply

%d bloggers like this: