26 May, 2022

Identically-dressed gang members terrorising Schoolies with Jesus talk

A terrifying new youth gang, reportedly referring to themselves as ‘The Green Team’ are already striking fear into the hearts of school leavers, only one day into the 2019 Victor Harbor Schoolies Festival.

Police are warning attendees of this year’s Schoolies Festival to be wary of groups of people wearing matching green outfits, having slightly too much fun for sober people.

We are advising school leavers, if they see any members of this “Green Team” to not make contact with them

‘The gang’s modus operandi seems to be to attempt to gain the trust of school leavers by offering them free drinks and sugary treats’, says Probationary Constable Johnson Romwilly-Weeks, the highest-ranking police officer SAPOL would send Adelaide Mail.

‘At this stage, we’re treating them as we would any other gang. We are advising school leavers, if they see any members of this “Green Team” to not make contact with them. We know that they are keen to lure our kids into their realms with their over-the-top Christian enthusiasm and delicious snacks’.

‘Now, we don’t know if the treats are laced with anything. We have had unconfirmed reports that the bottled water may have been blessed, with some of these “Green Team” members appearing to spill water on Schoolies in some kind of staged accidental baptising’.

‘Let it be known that we take these reports very seriously, and I will be investigating this…as soon as the other boys tell me where they’ve hidden my hat’.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Collingwood given all-clear to play as long as they promise not to touch the footy

2 June, 2021

2 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT In an eleventh-hour decision, South Australian authorities have given Collingwood players and staff an exemption to travel into...

Parents, is your teen texting about Adelaide’s North-Eastern suburbs?

21 January, 2019

21 January, 2019

Is your teenage son or daughter always on their phone? The kids these days with their MSN Messenger and MySpace...

Number One! Number One! SA leads the nation in this one key statistic

16 August, 2019

16 August, 2019

There aren’t too many measures in which South Australia ranks first amongst Australian states. Mainland states that is. We remain...

City of Unley removes controversial Will Smith from Cross Road window

4 April, 2022

4 April, 2022

MAN IN BLACK: After news breaking of the now embattled Will Smith resigning from the Academy, the City of Unley...

Next season of ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ to actually be set in Adelaide’s premier suburb of Paradise

24 August, 2018

24 August, 2018

Due to excessive helicopter use and a vast majority of the budget being spent on Osher’s hair, Channel 10 executives have...

With fewer flights, proposal made to bring back West Lakes McDonalds Party Plane

30 April, 2021

30 April, 2021

With this whole COVID thing still going nuts in countries that can’t get their shit together, fewer international flights are...

Adelaide Rams fan very disappointed

14 February, 2022

14 February, 2022

After seeing a constant stream of betting company advertisements stating that the Rams would be playing a big game this...

We rank Adelaide’s top (and only) 3 working digital Adelaide Metro signs

18 November, 2019

18 November, 2019

What was meant to be Adelaide Mail’s first barely readable, every item on a different page, advertisement clogged ‘Top 10 List’, has...

Man celebrates 40th birthday by agreeing with Leon Byner for the first time

12 October, 2018

12 October, 2018

Drew Ratcage has never been too bothered by the prospect of turning 40, that was until he found himself nodding...

We’re not convinced Kingswood is a real suburb either

10 July, 2018

10 July, 2018

While we’d be the first to admit that we’ve not looked into this too closely, we’re just not ready to...

Fringe ends, Arj Barker once again cryogenically frozen for 11 months

23 March, 2022

23 March, 2022

After another successful Adelaide Fringe Festival for our FIFO comedians, many ore once again returning to their cryogenic freezers until...

Urgent health alert issued for anybody who visited PJ’s on a Thursday in the mid-2000s

4 August, 2020

4 August, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT People who visited an Irish-themed Adelaide city pub on a Thursday night after 9pm in the mid-2000s are...

Premier’s speech writer now being paid on a Cost-Per-“Flex Up”-Mention basis

5 January, 2022

5 January, 2022

TRENT BARTLETT In a bid to cut costs during South Australia’s post-Freedom Day celebrations, Premier Steven Marshall has moved a...

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

3 December, 2019

3 December, 2019 1

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate...

State govt regrets choosing papier-mâché option for Darlington upgrade

9 May, 2019

9 May, 2019

With large swathes of load-bearing wall crumbling from the Darlington upgrade of South Road over the last week, questions have...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: