26 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Identically-dressed gang members terrorising Schoolies with Jesus talk

A terrifying new youth gang, reportedly referring to themselves as ‘The Green Team’ are already striking fear into the hearts of school leavers, only one day into the 2019 Victor Harbor Schoolies Festival.

Police are warning attendees of this year’s Schoolies Festival to be wary of groups of people wearing matching green outfits, having slightly too much fun for sober people.

We are advising school leavers, if they see any members of this “Green Team” to not make contact with them

‘The gang’s modus operandi seems to be to attempt to gain the trust of school leavers by offering them free drinks and sugary treats’, says Probationary Constable Johnson Romwilly-Weeks, the highest-ranking police officer SAPOL would send Adelaide Mail.

‘At this stage, we’re treating them as we would any other gang. We are advising school leavers, if they see any members of this “Green Team” to not make contact with them. We know that they are keen to lure our kids into their realms with their over-the-top Christian enthusiasm and delicious snacks’.

‘Now, we don’t know if the treats are laced with anything. We have had unconfirmed reports that the bottled water may have been blessed, with some of these “Green Team” members appearing to spill water on Schoolies in some kind of staged accidental baptising’.

‘Let it be known that we take these reports very seriously, and I will be investigating this…as soon as the other boys tell me where they’ve hidden my hat’.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

TAFE SA qualifications now offered on Foodland dockets with purchase over $40

3 December, 2018

3 December, 2018

The aftermath of controversy, audits, resignations, misconduct and corruption has led to TAFE SA taking drastic measures to ensure qualifications...

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

21 August, 2020

21 August, 2020

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named...

We rank Adelaide’s top (and only) 3 working digital Adelaide Metro signs

18 November, 2019

18 November, 2019

What was meant to be Adelaide Mail’s first barely readable, every item on a different page, advertisement clogged ‘Top 10 List’, has...

Guy’s life definitely peaked in Year 5 when Deane Hutton picked him to help

16 April, 2020

16 April, 2020

Over twenty years years ago at Pennington Primary, the entire school had gathered to witness the grandest honour that could...

Buffalo replica replica to honour memory of Buffalo replica

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Just hours after it was announced that Glenelg’s landmark Buffalo restaurant would be demolished due to its state of disrepair,...

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

Sign at Ingle Farm Shopping Centre explains a lot about North Eastern suburbs fashion

6 February, 2020

6 February, 2020

A sign proclaiming Ingle Farm Shopping Centre to be ‘your local place for fashion’ has been found to offer an...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Adelaide Mail announces new subscriber-only service Adelaide Mail Premium

1 April, 2020

1 April, 2020

It is with great excitement that the team at Adelaide Mail announces the next phase in our journey. Wall-to-wall paywalls...

South Australians tipped to consume $3bn worth of Zooper Doopers today

24 January, 2019

24 January, 2019

While many today will be doing their best to not think about just how high the mercury is expected to...

14-year-old tries to convince friends that he came up with the nickname ‘STABerfoyle Park’

7 July, 2020

7 July, 2020 1

TRENT BARTLETT While he might be a future writer for Charlie Pickering’s The Weekly, Jack Sauerbier will not be winning...

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

5 March, 2020

5 March, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day...

Elizabeth resident lobbies council to change name to Playholden

17 October, 2019

17 October, 2019

As the third anniversary of the closure of the Holden plant at Elizabeth approaches, lifetime local resident Camira Minnet lobbies...

Shopper actually finds reasonably priced product at OTR

2 August, 2019

2 August, 2019

With South Australia’s government mandated restrictive shopping hours in full force, partly enacted to ensure citizens patronise local family-run service...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: