14 May, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

State govt regrets choosing papier-mâché option for Darlington upgrade

With large swathes of load-bearing wall crumbling from the Darlington upgrade of South Road over the last week, questions have been asked over the state government’s choice of building materials for the corridor’s upgrade.

Faced with the realities of a Rob Lucas budget, several cutbacks were made to the project, although Peter Van the Party Man is said to have already made his 2019 budget off the back of balloon sales to the state government.

My daughter actually suggested it, she’s been making a papier-mâché mask in science this term

State minister for Building Materials and Petty Cash General Ratko Mladic (no relation to the successful Bosnian war criminal), has defended the project. ‘Firstly, let me say this, we didn’t expect it to rain’, says General Mladic. ‘We didn’t really think about that being an option, it was so sunny last week’.

‘The truth is we had to make some cutbacks. We spent a lot of money on that big “OAKLANDS” sign at the new railway station. I mean, those are some big letters and letters aren’t cheap’.

‘We decided that papier-mâché would be the most cost effective solution for the upgrade. My daughter actually suggested it, she’s been making a papier-mâché mask in science this term. It looks awful. Anyway, I suggest you go and speak with her, she’s largely responsible for this mess’.

The Adelaide Mail contacted Ava Mladic for comment but she was busy watching YouTube videos of a kid opening giant eggs with toys inside.

Related Posts

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

Chairman Mao’s portrait to be replaced with image of Pasquale Mastrangelo

16 August, 2018

16 August, 2018

The famous gates of Beijing’s Forbidden City are about to receive a real estate agent-inspired makeover, courtesy of Adelaide commercial...

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

Bloke’s tailbone still recovering after tobogganing over the jumps at Mt Thebarton

4 December, 2018

4 December, 2018

When a 14-year-old Alex Dangerfield visited Mt Thebarton in 1995 to experience tobogganing for the first time, he did not...

Terrified Glynde residents flee after active volcano discovered in area

15 May, 2020

15 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Residents of the inner north-eastern suburb of Glynde are reportedly fleeing the area in droves after an active...

Ridgehaven Hungry Jack’s bushes heritage listed

22 February, 2021

22 February, 2021

Finally joining the likes of South Australian icons such as Popeye and Wayne Weidemann’s Mullet, the row of street facing...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

(BOT ARTICLE) O-Bahn takes Caleb Bond to Chidda for Iced Coffee drink

14 December, 2020

14 December, 2020

NOTE: It’s the end of the year and we’re running out of ideas. So we decided to put every Adelaide...

‘The Advertiser site really needs more autoplaying videos’, says idiot

7 February, 2019

7 February, 2019

Not content with the dozens of relentless display ads and ‘native’ articles masquerading as journalism, The Advertiser has employed idiot...

In hindsight, 16-page full-colour catalogues delivered to every SA house every 3 days probably wasn’t great for business

16 December, 2019

16 December, 2019

With the news breaking that iconic South Australian department store Harris Scarfe has been placed into voluntary administration, operators are...

Far-Ken Hall! Adelaide’s biggest plumber goes rural

2 October, 2019

2 October, 2019

Adelaide’s biggest plumbing business, Ken Hall Plumbers is expanding its operations across rural South Australia. Marketing manager for Ken Hall...

Richmond Road mural fined for deceptive and confusing advertising of state

23 February, 2020

23 February, 2020

A Mile End South mural emblazoned with the boastful phrase “South Australia leads the world” has been punished for displaying...

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

22 May, 2019

22 May, 2019

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: