22 October, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

State govt regrets choosing papier-mâché option for Darlington upgrade

With large swathes of load-bearing wall crumbling from the Darlington upgrade of South Road over the last week, questions have been asked over the state government’s choice of building materials for the corridor’s upgrade.

Faced with the realities of a Rob Lucas budget, several cutbacks were made to the project, although Peter Van the Party Man is said to have already made his 2019 budget off the back of balloon sales to the state government.

My daughter actually suggested it, she’s been making a papier-mâché mask in science this term

State minister for Building Materials and Petty Cash General Ratko Mladic (no relation to the successful Bosnian war criminal), has defended the project. ‘Firstly, let me say this, we didn’t expect it to rain’, says General Mladic. ‘We didn’t really think about that being an option, it was so sunny last week’.

‘The truth is we had to make some cutbacks. We spent a lot of money on that big “OAKLANDS” sign at the new railway station. I mean, those are some big letters and letters aren’t cheap’.

‘We decided that papier-mâché would be the most cost effective solution for the upgrade. My daughter actually suggested it, she’s been making a papier-mâché mask in science this term. It looks awful. Anyway, I suggest you go and speak with her, she’s largely responsible for this mess’.

The Adelaide Mail contacted Ava Mladic for comment but she was busy watching YouTube videos of a kid opening giant eggs with toys inside.

Related Posts

Wayne Weidemann’s glorious mullet immortalised in bronze statue

11 September, 2019

11 September, 2019

Never a city to be outdone by Melbourne, today Adelaide unveiled it’s very own bronze statue in response to Tayla...

PETITION: Rename Elizabeth Shopping Centre “Centrals Market”

20 February, 2020

20 February, 2020

A group of vocal Central District Football Club supporters have launched a rather clever (especially for Centrals fans) campaign to...

Adelaide poaches Open Mouth Kissing Strangers You’ve Just Met Festival from Victoria

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In news that has been sitting on our desk for years, but we never got around to writing...

Chairman Mao’s portrait to be replaced with image of Pasquale Mastrangelo

16 August, 2018

16 August, 2018

The famous gates of Beijing’s Forbidden City are about to receive a real estate agent-inspired makeover, courtesy of Adelaide commercial...

Kid dressed as Britannia Roundabout wins Adelaide’s scariest costume contest

31 October, 2020

31 October, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT Britani-AHH!!: Adelaide held its annual scariest Halloween costume contest this morning, with thousands of children from all around...

Adelaide Crows eyeing off homesick Victorian with first ever #1 pick at AFL draft

4 July, 2020

4 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT The Adelaide Crows are looking to the future, with the club seeking to wrap up their first ever...

Lucindale starts with the clingy texts after a one night stand

17 September, 2019

17 September, 2019

As the dust settles in the usually quiet town in our State’s South-East and life starts to return to normal,...

Sight of OTR toilet instantly cures man’s violent diarrhoea

7 December, 2018

7 December, 2018

After a week in Bali and a big ‘welcome home’ night with the boys, city construction labourer, Trey Dee, was...

Collingwood given all-clear to play as long as they promise not to touch the footy

2 June, 2021

2 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT In an eleventh-hour decision, South Australian authorities have given Collingwood players and staff an exemption to travel into...

Victor Harbor launch new tourism campaign, “We’re Missing U”

13 May, 2020

13 May, 2020

As travel restrictions ease, Victor Harbor launches a new tourism campaign

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

1 September, 2020

1 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

Bloke who spent $900 on Home Lottery tickets very satisfied with his $75 Heatworks gift card

28 September, 2018

28 September, 2018

Troy Simons of Rosewater, lives by the old adage ‘you gotta’ be in it to win it’, and ‘win it’...

Adelaide Mail calendars just 12 pictures of Tea Tree Plaza done in MS Paint

23 October, 2020

23 October, 2020

Because we haven’t figured out how to put an annoying paywall on this site and our website domain renewal is...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: