19 June, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

OPINION: Politicians never lie about sources of income, pizza bar workers could learn from them

SEBASTIAN BOLD

On Friday last week, a politician was furious, absolutely furious that somebody in the state of South Australia would tell a lie that would act against the interests of the South Australian public.

And why not? He, and every politician, has every right to be indignant about someone telling a lie in contravention of the public good.

Now, maybe I’m just old-fashioned but where I come from (Parkside) and in my day (the 2000s), people told the truth about whether or not they were working a casual cash-in-hand job on the side, especially when the authorities were the ones asking the question.

You know how that old saying goes? “You should never lie about working a cash-in-hand job at a pizza bar in the western suburbs if you’re also working in a medi-hotel with people quarantining during a pandemic”.

It’s just an old saying, and if you haven’t heard of it, then I suggest you educate yourself with some of the classics. Dan Brown, actually. It’s a direct quote from his 2004 novel The Deceptive Emblem.

It’s a story about a renowned calligrapher who discovers a hidden insignia in a chocolate donut and goes on a decades-long journey to decode it only to discover that the ganache on the top of the donut had actually just stuck to its paper bag creating something that looked like a hammer and sickle and it was really a big hullabaloo about nothing. If you haven’t read it, then do yourself a favour and take the masterclass.

But I digress.

Perhaps if the foreign pizza bar worker were more like our state government MPs and less like lying, greedy schoolchildren then we wouldn’t be in this mess.

Take Stephan Knoll, for example. A guiding, honest light in state politics throughout these tough times. And even when his parents tried to sully his good name by taking part of his allowance for board, he fronted up and took the full brunt of the outcry on his old man’s behalf.

By the way if you’re reading Dad, let this be a cautionary tale for parents who try to garnish some of their kids’ allowance for so-called “board”.

In my opinion, wasn’t this foreign pizza bar worker already making enough dough? Time to take a leaf out of the state government’s books and be quietly shuffled to the backbench while this whole thing blows over.

Sebastian Bold
Sebastian Bold

Sebastian Bold is a conservative youth commentator who we were told we have to employ because his dad’s on the board. Three-time winner of Australia’s Most Young Liberal, Bold is unapologetic for his opinions which he shares NO MATTER WHAT!

Related Posts

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

Youth crime skyrockets around CBD, reports of large spikes in on-street vandalism, chalk graffiti

8 November, 2025

8 November, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT Adelaide has been hit with a sharp rise in youth crime along one specific stretch of CBD streets....

Moana commuter really appreciates that 20m stretch of Fiveash Dr with the 70kmh speed limit

30 June, 2020

30 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT A Moana resident who commutes to Adelaide’s eastern suburbs every day for work, has once again sent his...

LEAKED: Shortlist of Port Adelaide’s other proposed new logos

15 October, 2019

15 October, 2019

Following the unveiling of Port Adelaide Football Club’s new logo commemorating the club’s 23rd year anniversary, Adelaide Mail can reveal...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found...

Even 1079 Life FM hosts cringe at some of the Christian songs they have to play

6 March, 2022

6 March, 2022

Adelaide’s family friendly easy-listening radio station has long been known for the playing the latest inoffensive pop tunes, subtle messaging,...

Crows fan fires up the old VCR again to feel better

8 July, 2019

8 July, 2019

After a shocking Showdown loss over the weekend, one-eyed (her good one) Adelaide Crows fan Rose Parque has decided to...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

Man actually chooses to sit in this seat

26 April, 2019

26 April, 2019

With the vast majority of city commuters taking this week off, Kramdin Numpteedu of Klemzig has had his fair share...

Last SA made Commodore sells for 750k. Last SA made Mitsubishi 380 still unsold at 3k ONO.

1 February, 2021

1 February, 2021

As the last ever South Australian made Holden Commodore sold at auction for $750,000 over the weekend, a similarly iconic...

Dover Gardens man with a cold ends up in taxi to Novar Gardens

14 October, 2019

14 October, 2019

After leaving after-work Friday drinks in the city early because they were feeling a little under the weather, Al Lurgey...

Guy who always tries James Congdon South Road shortcut reckons it works almost half the time

17 July, 2024

17 July, 2024

Local man of impatience, Aaron Gunt, has once again fallen victim to his own hubris and cockheadedness at the intersection...

SHOCK: We found a North Adelaide resident with nothing to complain about

5 August, 2022

5 August, 2022

Despite living North Adelaide for many years, Jeff Cotstreet has never phoned in a noise complaint, contacted his local member,...

Fringe show releases new promotional image following KKK backlash

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Adelaide Fringe has responded to an online petition urging them to pull support of a controversial BDSM show after an...

Phone lines jammed as 24 million Australians all ring Victor Harbor to check on Nan

17 March, 2020

17 March, 2020

TOM STEWART In what has become a serious test of the nation’s telecommunications infrastructure, 24 million phone calls were placed...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading