17 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Maybe let’s also discuss changing the name of “Blackfellows Creek”

With discussions of changing the date of Australia Day firing up once again, some South Australians are focusing their energy on a local issue, rallying against the name of an area in the Adelaide Hills, which has been deemed as “slightly racist” by some and “overtly racist” by many.

A petition has been launched by first year Social Work uni student Lacinta Chripplejay, who stumbled across the area in Google Maps, because despite extensive international holidays with her family, has never been more than 10km from her family’s Unley home in South Australia.

‘I needed a topic for my “Uninformed Outrage” subject, so I typed in “Black” in Google Maps’, stated Lacinta Chripplejay, ‘First I wanted to lodge a complaint against the suburb of ‘Blackwood’ for not putting a trigger warning before their name. I’m still suffering PTSD from the burnt wood smell stuck to my Camilla dress after the Adelaide Hills fires, but then I found something much worse’.

Blackfellows Creek is a small South Australian Rural Location within the local government area of Alexandrina, located approximately 38kms from Adelaide, with only about thirty residents.

Adelaide Mail contacted Blackfellows Creek’s resident historian and avid Advertiser reader Gary Wrightwing, who stated ‘Well as far as I’m concerned it’s a stupid idea to bloody change the name of something. It’s been called that for nearly 200 years, why would they want to change it? This always was and always will be Blackfellows Creek. Yell it with me now, always was, always will be Bla-, c’mon say it like you mean it. Always was, alwa-’.

Gary then proceeded to show us his collection of Golliwog dolls whilst Kevin Bloody Wilson’s “Living Next Door To Alan” played on repeat in the background. ‘Here’s the thing’, yelled Gary over his CD player ‘things like Blackfellows Creek and Australia Day are traditions. This stuff has been around since at least the 1990’s, now all these darn greenie-lefties want to change what I’ve always known, just because of the traumatic genocide and entrenched prejudice against an entire race. How dare they, if the lefties don’t love it, they can leave! Same with the Aboriginal people, they should also go back to where they came fr-, wait, actually don’t quote me on that part. Besides, Blackfellows Creek isn’t racist in any way, you need to look up the true origins of the name’.

Always was, always will be Blackfellows Creek!

Upon further research by Adelaide Mail, Blackfellows Creek was named after colonial explorer/murderer William Black, who stated in his diary ‘I stumbled upon a creek after getting lost looking for ‘shrooms in Kuitpo forest. Some of the friendly native men saw I was thirsty and offered me a drink. I told them I would name this creek after them. I believe they were trying to tell me they already had a name for it since before the beginning of time, but I insisted as I am much whiter, and therefore smarter than they. Thus I named it “Blackfellows Creek”, for the fellows I made there. Don’t worry, it’s cool, they said I can say that word”.

Related Posts

New Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee merchandise instantly sells out of 5XL sizing

27 June, 2019

27 June, 2019

With Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee desperately trying to target the insta-millennial market with their new line of merchandise, the new...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

Not to be outdone by Olsen, Mike Rann announced as new chairman for Adelaide Rams

13 October, 2020

13 October, 2020

There’s an old saying that goes ‘politicians never retire, they just end up becoming chairmen of local sporting clubs’, and...

Unique SA strain of virus now being found in Victoria

15 March, 2020

15 March, 2020

DIRK SPUD In worrying signs that we may be reaching a point of no return when it comes to its...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

OPINION: Politicians never lie about sources of income, pizza bar workers could learn from them

24 November, 2020

24 November, 2020

SEBASTIAN BOLD On Friday last week, a politician was furious, absolutely furious that somebody in the state of South Australia...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

Melbourne man visits Adelaide just to complain about shop trading hours

12 January, 2019

12 January, 2019

Gouland Hambitter and his family moved to Melbourne from Adelaide when he was eight-years-old. His father had taken up a...

In hindsight, 16-page full-colour catalogues delivered to every SA house every 3 days probably wasn’t great for business

16 December, 2019

16 December, 2019

With the news breaking that iconic South Australian department store Harris Scarfe has been placed into voluntary administration, operators are...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

TRENT BARTLETT Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that...

State Government to reduce suburban Adelaide to one bus route

20 January, 2019

20 January, 2019

In a bid to increase efficiency across Adelaide’s struggling suburban bus network, the State Government has moved to remove all...

Adelaide in midst of annual coloured chalk shortage

7 November, 2018

7 November, 2018

‘Tis the season for Christmas pageants throughout the state, and with that comes the yearly coloured chalk supply shortage. Parents...

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

Woman updates LinkedIn profile to include climbing Big Rocking Horse certificate

23 January, 2019

23 January, 2019

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Melanie Yearling of Birdwood doing whatever she can to enhance her LinkedIn profile for...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: