25 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Adelaide music fan about to pretend to be really into some washed-up 90s band for a few months

TRENT BARTLETT

Fan of going to things because they’re on, Somerton Park resident Granvil Gesticulate has revealed his intent to get super into whichever washed-up 90s band is announced to headline the resurrected Harvest Rock festival later this year.

Gesticulate, whose actual music taste ranges all the way from whoever topped the Hottest 100 when he was 22 years old to any band at the top of a Spotify-recommended playlist, told Adelaide Mail that he’s always been into whichever band ends up headlining.

“I just hope they play stuff from their second album,” Gesticulate says, although being entirely unsure about to whom he is referring. “You know, some people call it maligned, but I think they were just trying some stuff.”

Despite the promise to throw all of his support behind whoever it is headlining, Gesticulate’s track record suggests he will quickly forget about the band’s music and existence. The music fan completely ceased all interest in Jamiroquai following the 2023 festival, and refuses to speak about the 2022 event after he accidentally learnt all of Tenacious D’s back catalogue. Jack White was performing.

Granvil has already penciled in time for a JB Hi-Fi visit to purchase some overpriced band logo t-shirt, along with a week to cram on the band’s Wikipedia entry, including all factual inaccuracies.

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