4 March, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom have been revealed exclusive to Adelaide Mail. Local billionaire squatter Con Makris has swooped to ensure that ownership of the land will cede to his property group.

Makris exploited a little-known piece of South Australian property law which states that Greek property developers sporting suspiciously thick bouffant hair shall be guaranteed first options to buy any former Le Cornu sites should German supermarket chains pull out. With the North Adelaide site set to house a new Swedish furniture store, Makris turned his eyes toward Forestville.

Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here

‘Have I got something in store for South Australians?’, said Makris. ‘It’s time to put my patented Makris spin on this here land. You loved what I did for O’Connell Street, so I give to you 10 Anzac. Your new home for overgrown weeds, ramshackle fencing and complete and utter inaction for the next thirty years’.

‘I don’t think any place in South Australia could better symbolise this state. Think about it, all that rich history of manufacturing here with Chrysler. Then came the local business success story replaced with nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here’.

Related Posts

“It’s a myth that everyone from Adelaide knows each other…but yeah, I know Matt”

15 January, 2021

15 January, 2021

A travelling Adelaide worker has once again reinforced the the myth that all South Australians happen to know each other...

Ingenious Toolie crudely changes 13 to 18 on his Year 12 jumper

25 November, 2018

25 November, 2018

In a surprisingly genius move, particularly from a Modbury High graduate, 23 year old Sam ‘Zombie’ Zommers has pulled off...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

Chairman Mao’s portrait to be replaced with image of Pasquale Mastrangelo

16 August, 2018

16 August, 2018

The famous gates of Beijing’s Forbidden City are about to receive a real estate agent-inspired makeover, courtesy of Adelaide commercial...

Woman scurries from David Jones building to avoid that hand cream guy

25 November, 2019

25 November, 2019

A Torrensville woman has aborted her first attempt at Christmas shopping for the year after being chased out of the...

Victorians look to Adelaide for tips on how to shut down entire city by 8pm every night

10 August, 2020

10 August, 2020 4

TRENT BARTLETT As Melbourne continues to get themselves home no later than 8pm, Victorians have been looking across the border...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

Next 8 hours of office chat reserved for ‘that weather last night’

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

When the most interesting thing to happen to the typical office employee between the hours of 5pm and 9am is...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

UniSA law student happy to let you keep thinking he goes to Adelaide

23 May, 2019

23 May, 2019

Despite typically jumping to the defence of UniSA’s law degree, Esteban Cornbox is not in any hurry to correct you...

Mental health advocate lodges complaint over use of ‘Mad March’

5 March, 2019

5 March, 2019

In an unsurprising turn of events, a university academic with too much time on his hands over the summer break...

Office worker finds any excuse to tell you that she did City To Bay

16 September, 2019

16 September, 2019

You don’t typically see Sarah from marketing at the office before 9am at best. And to see her away from...

Advertiser censors front page advertisement

21 October, 2019

21 October, 2019

Putting up a united front against secrecy and journalistic censorship, South Australia’s leading satirical news service has joined multiple papers...

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

21 August, 2020

21 August, 2020

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named...

City resident can’t go twenty minutes without telling someone they live in the CBD

15 October, 2018

15 October, 2018

Even after months after moving into her new South Terrace apartment, Ebony Higgs of Adelaide, continues to remind everyone of...

Comments
  • Someone with so much wealth and little regard for SA development in lieu of his own selfish agenda! The man’s a disgrace!!

Leave a Reply to Chris Woodcock Cancel reply

%d bloggers like this: