8 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom have been revealed exclusive to Adelaide Mail. Local billionaire squatter Con Makris has swooped to ensure that ownership of the land will cede to his property group.

Makris exploited a little-known piece of South Australian property law which states that Greek property developers sporting suspiciously thick bouffant hair shall be guaranteed first options to buy any former Le Cornu sites should German supermarket chains pull out. With the North Adelaide site set to house a new Swedish furniture store, Makris turned his eyes toward Forestville.

Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here

‘Have I got something in store for South Australians?’, said Makris. ‘It’s time to put my patented Makris spin on this here land. You loved what I did for O’Connell Street, so I give to you 10 Anzac. Your new home for overgrown weeds, ramshackle fencing and complete and utter inaction for the next thirty years’.

‘I don’t think any place in South Australia could better symbolise this state. Think about it, all that rich history of manufacturing here with Chrysler. Then came the local business success story replaced with nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here’.

Related Posts

Zoran Matic, Damian Mori & Alex Tobin assemble crack team to lure Messi to Adelaide City

26 August, 2020

26 August, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With Lionel Messi announcing his intention to leave Barcelona immediately, the world’s premiere football clubs have already thrown...

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

Victor Harbor horse-drawn tram still more frequent and reliable than 90% of Adelaide Metro buses

4 February, 2020

4 February, 2020

This year’s winners of the public transport performance awards for SA have been released, and it’s good news for patrons...

Every Polites building to be heritage listed in 2020

6 September, 2019

6 September, 2019

In a surprising move by the SA Heritage Listing Council, it has been deemed that each and every Polites building...

Kane Cornes called us a thief just because we broke into his house and stole stuff

13 February, 2020

13 February, 2020

Now, we’re not ones to typically use this platform to air grievances about petty disputes with our fellow K-grade Adelaide...

Whoopsy! Someone accidentally cast millions of head lice as Father Christmas in the Magic Cave

4 November, 2024

4 November, 2024

TRENT BARTLETT Organisers of this year’s Adelaide Christmas Pageant are hoping that nobody in the 300,000-strong crowd noticed the subtle...

“Reality’s hitting home” – Now my shortcut through David Jones to the car park is gone!

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

Everything had been fine up until this point. You know, it’s bad and all that, I’m not trivialising the seriousness...

Adelaide Mail calls for Adelaide Oval to have ONLY Scoreboards and Hills

30 August, 2021

30 August, 2021

With former Liberal MP Christopher Pyne clearly rapidly running out of ideas for things to write about in satirical newspaper...

Council begins soaping up Rundle Mall pavers to ensure they’re extra slippery ahead of rain

30 July, 2025

30 July, 2025 1

TRENT BARTLETT The Adelaide City Council has reportedly kicked off their weekly greasing of Rundle Mall’s pavers using the world’s...

Ian Perrie also rejects AFL Hall Of Fame honour in solidarity and because he wasn’t offered

11 June, 2021

11 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Adelaide Crows superstar forward Ian Perrie has become the second Australian football legend to turn down the honour...

Masks mandates for Adelaide public transport to return because you’re all ugly and stink

30 September, 2022

30 September, 2022

One week after the requirement for masks to be worn on public transport was lifted, it has been decided that...

Mum comments “shared 5162” like her 27 Facebook friends cover all of Morphett Vale

2 October, 2020

2 October, 2020

A Morphett Vale Facebook mum has been hailed as a hero after letting people know she has shared a Facebook...

Peter Van the Party Man really just wants a quiet night in with the kids

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

It’s been over thirty years of non-stop debauchery for Goodwood Road’s most-famous party man Peter Van, but his days of...

MPs really confused around sudden interest in their ICA Competition

4 September, 2020

4 September, 2020

South Australian MPs have remained tight lipped around a current ICAC (Indoor Cricket Association Competition) investigation. Not because they have...

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for...

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading