14 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Man finds great joy in not letting car cut in Main North Rd & Fitzroy Tce right turn lane

DAN SCHMIDT

Manningham resident, Moe Trist, has reportedly once again taken delight in the only thing that makes his morning commute tolerable.

Commencing at the turning lanes onto Main North Road from Scotty’s Motel, Moe had already sized up other drivers who he believed were going to cut into the far-left right hand turn lane onto Fitzroy Terrace at the next set of lights.

‘Look at this joker here in the white Outlander’ Moe muttered to himself ‘I betcha’ they’re going to try and bypass all the traffic in the right lane and cut in at the end. Not on my watch!’

Sure enough, Moe then began the strategic auto manoeuvring exercise to keep the Outlander driver out of the lane whilst simultaneously giving them the false hope that they may be able to.

‘Oh, they’ve taken off quickly from the lights, we’re on here!’ excitedly exclaimed Moe.

Subtly accelerating to match his opponent, then decreasing speed to coast parallel to the Outlander, Moe ensured not to leave a gap large enough ahead or behind his vehicle.

‘Now, let’s watch for the right indicat-OH THERE IT IS!’

With a smile on his face and joy in his heart, Moe stayed strong and kept to the far-left turn lane where the Outlander expected to easily cut in.

‘HAHA, not today! Sorry, but you know what you were doing and should have got in the correct lane earlier like the rest of us’.

Moe’s manoeuvre forced the Outlander to unwillingly continue towards North Adelaide, a slight detour which would cost them at least 30 seconds.

Immensely satisfied with his achievement, Moe would ride this high until his commute home where he would attempt to do the same on Nottage Terrace turning on to North East Road.

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