16 September, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Modbury resident angered by suggestion she lives in Adelaide’s northern suburbs

Modbury resident Taryn Cooke has lashed out at fellow co-workers for mistakenly suggesting that she hails from the northern suburbs of Adelaide.

Witnesses report seeing Ms Cooke running from the building of her Grenfell Street office moments after the incident, shouting the words “north EAST” at passing motorists before standing to queue for an O-Bahn bus in an orderly fashion.

‘She just completely blew up, it’s like a something in her brain snapped’, says office manager Janice Chortsworth.

‘We were just asking Taryn how far her house was from the Lyell McEwin and whether she caught the Gawler line to get home, when she stopped talking and shouted

“I’m from up the hill, UP!”…whatever that means. I don’t know, must be a northern suburbs thing’.

Ms Cooke is believed to have returned home safely, a feat not lost on her colleagues.

‘We always get so concerned when she leaves for the day’, continues Chortsworth. ‘You know, where she lives is just so unsafe, I wouldn’t want to be walking around Salisbury or Munno Para, or whatever her suburb’s called, in the dark’.

‘No sir, I’m quite happy living in good old North Adelaide and walking the way home after work. Nothing bad has ever happened to a woman in the parklands after dark’.

If you have any information on the whereabouts of Janice Chortsworth, please contact Crime Stoppers.

in News
Related Posts

Rip It Up relaunches with Pokies reviews and noise complaint liftout

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Heritage Adelaide street press Rip It Up magazine is set for a relaunch with a new focus on reflecting the...

14 year old comedic genius invents the nickname “Colon Aids”

19 March, 2020

19 March, 2020

A Hackham West teenager has taken Adelaide’s southern suburbs by storm after creating a hilarious crude nickname for Colonnades shopping...

Old mate puts Holden badge on new Camaro

30 July, 2019

30 July, 2019

With the release of American muscle-car the Chevrolet Camaro to Australia, avid Holden fan Beau Ghan was excited to somehow get...

Salesman optimistic about selling in-ground pool to family holding Bertie Beetle showbags

31 August, 2018

31 August, 2018

When it comes to closing the deal, Christian Levolsi backs himself like few other salesmen, so when he was faced...

We rank Adelaide’s best TikTok stars

29 June, 2021

29 June, 2021

Whether they’re annoying shoppers while filming cringey shit in Rundle Mall or thinking their videos actually get that many views,...

“Sure, I feel bad for this whole COVID thing, but they DID steal our Grand Prix” – Premier says

27 May, 2021

27 May, 2021

Premier Steven Marshall has stopped short of apologising to his Victorian counterparts over a medi-hotel leak that has led to...

Theology states St Clair is the Patron Saint of Motor Vehicle Theft

3 August, 2020

3 August, 2020

After minutes of research, religious scholars have uncovered that St Clair is the Patron Saint of Motor Vehicle Theft and...

“South Boy” reckons Christies is heaps rougher than Smithfield

25 February, 2020

25 February, 2020 1

Despite never having travelled north of Prospect, Witton Huntfield of Christies Beach firmly believes that Adelaide’s southern suburbs are far...

Ingenious Toolie crudely changes 13 to 18 on his Year 12 jumper

25 November, 2018

25 November, 2018

In a surprisingly genius move, particularly from a Modbury High graduate, 23 year old Sam ‘Zombie’ Zommers has pulled off...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Misguided Get This tribute lands nerds in middle of Veale Gardens beat

4 July, 2019

4 July, 2019

An ill-advised tribute tour of every landmark referenced in cult Triple M radio show Get This has ended in the...

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

TRENT BARTLETT Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that...

Murray Bridge Crows fan refuses to listen to Power FM

9 June, 2021

9 June, 2021

Lifelong Murray Bridge resident and Adelaide Football Club supporter, Jerry Atrick, takes his passion for football more seriously than most,...

Windy Point actually pronounced “Wine-dee” point because of the winding route to get there

15 November, 2019

15 November, 2019

Windy Point – You’re all saying it wrong! It turns out that we’ve all been saying the name of Adelaide’s...

OPINION: Politicians never lie about sources of income, pizza bar workers could learn from them

24 November, 2020

24 November, 2020

SEBASTIAN BOLD On Friday last week, a politician was furious, absolutely furious that somebody in the state of South Australia...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: