3 December, 2023

Single bloke on Kangaroo Island killing it on Tinder this week

What a week it has been for Steve Bachelor, 34, of Kangaroo Island.

‘It gets pretty hard dating in regional SA’, stated Steve ‘especially in your thirties, and when you’re unemployed, and still live with your parents, and nervously wet your pants at the sight of any attractive woman. But in the past few days, I’ve been doing pretty well for myself’.

As KI flooded with A-list swimsuit models for the Government-sponsored Sports Illustrated photo shoot, Steve, one of few single men on the Island, was getting messages throughout the day and night.

‘It gets pretty hard dating in regional SA, especially in your thirties, and when you’re unemployed, and still live with your parents, and nervously wet your pants at the sight of any attractive woman

‘I assumed they were all fake profiles at first, that’s happened to me before, you know? One time I matched with this brunette from Penneshaw, she was absolutely stunning in the photos, would have been the most beautiful woman on the island’.

‘We agreed to meet up’, Bachelor continues, ‘when I got to the café she was just this big sack of potatoes. Literally, like a hessian bag full of potatoes. I thought that it must be a scam of some sort, there’s no way that they’d let a bag of root vegetables open a Tinder account. But, you know, you’ve got to be open-minded about these things because we ended up having quite a nice date. Never called me back though…’

in Life, News
Related Posts

Mum comments “shared 5162” like her 27 Facebook friends cover all of Morphett Vale

2 October, 2020

2 October, 2020

A Morphett Vale Facebook mum has been hailed as a hero after letting people know she has shared a Facebook...

Changes to medi-hotel rules means no more licking guests in quarantine without a permit

25 November, 2020

25 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It has been a tradition in South Australia since the nineteenth century, but one stroke of a pen...

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

23 January, 2020

23 January, 2020 1

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom...

Fringe ends, Arj Barker once again cryogenically frozen for 11 months

23 March, 2022

23 March, 2022

After another successful Adelaide Fringe Festival for our FIFO comedians, many ore once again returning to their cryogenic freezers until...

Gepps Cross Home HQ responsible for 30% of SA divorces

10 February, 2022

10 February, 2022 1

Researchers have found that nearly a third of all South Australian divorces can be contributed directly to a single source,...

Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

18 April, 2019

18 April, 2019

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a...

14 year old comedic genius invents the nickname “Colon Aids”

19 March, 2020

19 March, 2020

A Hackham West teenager has taken Adelaide’s southern suburbs by storm after creating a hilarious crude nickname for Colonnades shopping...

Even 1079 Life FM hosts cringe at some of the Christian songs they have to play

6 March, 2022

6 March, 2022

Adelaide’s family friendly easy-listening radio station has long been known for the playing the latest inoffensive pop tunes, subtle messaging,...

Buffalo replica replica to honour memory of Buffalo replica

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Just hours after it was announced that Glenelg’s landmark Buffalo restaurant would be demolished due to its state of disrepair,...

Man goes to Glenelg for New Year’s under impression it may be good

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

A local Adelaide man will tonight undertake what many South Australians have fallen trap to in the past. As a...

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

21 August, 2020

21 August, 2020

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named...

Advertiser censors front page advertisement

21 October, 2019

21 October, 2019

Putting up a united front against secrecy and journalistic censorship, South Australia’s leading satirical news service has joined multiple papers...

Bloke in bucket hat heads straight to Maslins bushes for some reason

8 November, 2019

8 November, 2019

A Gawler man has confounded onlookers upon his arrival at Adelaide’s Maslin Beach, appearing wearing a bucket hat, long pants...

EXPOSED: Ancestry DNA shows Adelaide not even related to “Sister Cities”

12 February, 2020

12 February, 2020

MATT FREEMAN The Adelaide City Council has attempted to stop all those naysayers that say “Sister Cities” is some meaningless...

Friend from Barossa corrects our pronunciation of ‘Tempranillo’ again

8 January, 2019

8 January, 2019

When Gerrand Deghard moved to Angaston in the Barossa Valley two months ago, he had never had a glass of...

Comments

Leave a Reply