23 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Hindley Street to become 100% shisha bars by 2020, study reveals

New research into economic trends in Adelaide’s west end reveals that the city’s most famous nightstrip is heading towards wall-to-wall shisha bars by as early as next year.

The study, carried out by Adelaide Research & Survey Estimates (ARSE), finds that new shisha bars are opening at an unparallelled rate of four per day.

Chief economist for ARSE Eeta Greenspan told the Adelaide Mail ‘we haven’t seen anything like this since the proliferation of Bubble Tea stores. We know in Melbourne we have seen one suburb become literally nothing but bubble tea’.

Our estimates show that we’re looking at the greater Hindley Street area being consumed by shisha bars and a thick cloud of delightful smelling vapour by about June next year

‘Former libraries, service stations, shops have all become bubble tea stores’, Greenspan continues. ‘The roads have become bubble tea, basic services like electricity have been replaced by bubble tea. Even the weather elements. There’s no rain anymore, it’s been replaced by those little tapioca balls that you get in the bottom of bubble tea’.

‘Our estimates show that we’re looking at the greater Hindley Street area being consumed by shisha bars and a thick cloud of delightful smelling vapour by about June next year. Luckily, complete inundation is being held off at this stage by a strong defence of ubiquitous bars aimed at single twenty-somethings who exclusively drink $20 espresso martinis while asking ‘have you tried this new café yet?’

in Life, News
Related Posts

Entire train deeply confused by passenger getting off at Chidda

28 October, 2025

28 October, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT In a completely unprecedented situation, a passenger on a Gawler Central-bound train has alighted at Chidda Railway Station....

Growing number of tobacco stores going un-firebombed thanks to fuel crisis

31 March, 2026

31 March, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT Concerned South Australians have begun speaking out about the unsettling trend of tobacco stores around the city and...

Guy Sebastian also apologises for tagging Golden Grove Rage Cage in 2001

7 September, 2021

7 September, 2021

GUG SEBASTIAN: Early 2000’s typical North-East hood-rat and former Australian Idol Guy Sebastian has apologised to his Instagram followers for...

Call Eshay Quality Home Improvements if you wanna get knocked down brah

15 February, 2021

15 February, 2021

With South Australia’s other satirical news website exposing the existence of a “new” youth subculture which is well over a...

Campbelltown man installs sprinklers to water concrete while he’s on holiday

12 July, 2018

12 July, 2018

A Campbelltown man has installed a state-of-the-art, new sprinkler system to continue a strict routine of concrete watering over his...

Showy Reynella family splash out on leather recliner for front porch

11 February, 2019

11 February, 2019

For as long as the Tonstelhans have lived on Highercombe Street in Reynella they have been trying to out-do their...

Royal Park Salvage mascot should really get that middle leg looked at

11 February, 2020

11 February, 2020

Look, we’re not going to pretend we know what Royal Park Salvage does, or even go to the effort of...

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

Ridgehaven Hungry Jack’s bushes heritage listed

22 February, 2021

22 February, 2021

Finally joining the likes of South Australian icons such as Popeye and Wayne Weidemann’s Mullet, the row of street facing...

Suburb of Devon Park to be renamed Fritz Park

7 January, 2019

7 January, 2019

In an act of South Australian patriotism, a successful campaign by residents has led to the inner north suburb of...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Local “Teddy Bear Hunt” replaced with far easier “Mastrangelo Real Estate Sign Hunt”

20 April, 2020

20 April, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Parents around Adelaide’s suburbs (looking for ways to distract their kids from the tedium of life that only...

Adelaide Mail’s top 10 Adelaide 36ers of all time

6 May, 2020

6 May, 2020

Here we are again, another list. We’re just as happy about it as you, okay? Nobody wants to read lists...

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

14 October, 2018

14 October, 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop...

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

13 August, 2018

13 August, 2018

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading