Victorian fails SA Driver’s Licence test after correctly zip merging

DAN SCHMIDT

An interstate motorist has attempted to gain a South Australian Driver’s Licence but ultimately failed due to their courteous (and technically correct) driving habits.

Victorian driver Victoria Driver did not pass her practical test (which we didn’t even know was a thing that people in her situation had to do, but trust us, it is. No need to look it up.) after undertaking a series of manoeuvrers considered wrong and impractical on South Australian roads.

‘First thing she did wrong was check her mirrors before changing lanes’, said her SA driving assessor Tess Ting ‘Now that’s not enough to fail someone, but is a big red flag’.

‘She ultimately failed when she merged like a zip. What the hell is that? Everyone knows that the best way to merge is keep as close to the car in front of you and not let anyone else cut in, especially if their car is already ahead of yours’.

‘Then, get this right’, giggled Tess ‘she even kept left unless she was overtaking! Rookie mistake’.

Whilst Victoria felt she was a competent driver, she is confident that she has now gained some pointers on how to manage Adelaide roads. ‘Well apparently I did the Britannia Roundabouts wrong’, said Victoria ‘My assessor said next time instead of giving way to the right, the proper way locals manage it is to simply maintain speed, put both hands on the wheel, close your eyes and hope for the best’.

‘I also failed my parking test. I got between the lines, but they said I should have been much closer and preferably on the line for a long period of time. But excuse me, I’ve been parked there all day! Well, I wouldn’t say all day, but I’ve been parked there for AT LEAST thirty seconds’.

‘I do hope I can obtain my SA Licence soon’, continued Victoria ‘because those big concrete tracks heading out of the city look like they’d be really fun to drive on’.