4 February, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Joe reckons his “Adelaide Fridge Festival” will be just as popular and fun

DAN SCHMIDT

Adelaide Furniture and Electrical mogul, Joe, is hoping to cash in on some second-hand excitement from the Adelaide Fringe Festival just like he does with “lounges, dining, and kitchen stuff”.

In a media release written on the back of an old Panasonic VCR manual and posted to the Adelaide Mail office, Joe states:

“The Adelaide Fridge Festival will be one of the southern hemisphere’s largest gatherings of a diverse and exciting range of used fridges from all over the state to celebrate their low prices.

But please don’t ask me how I keep the prices so low. This is strictly against festival rules.

I swear to God that anyone who even thinks they’re being funny by asking me that will be thrown out of the venue (top of Port Road) and have their festival day pass revoked.

Seriously, everywhere I go some bastard is shouting “Hey Joe!” “Hey Joe!” “Hey Joe?!”, and only very rarely is it in reference to the 1967 Jimi Hendrix single. I’ve had enough to be honest. Not of Hendrix, I mean, but the pricks making fun of my TV ad. Even mocking me by doing the arm movement sometimes. Absolute dogs, I tell ya’.

Congratulations on the purchase of your Panasonic Video Cassette Recorder Model No. PV-4020/PV-4520. Operate only from a power source indicated in this manual or the unit. For your safety please read, retain and follow all operating instructions.

Used properly, this product will bring you and your family years of enjoyment. Please fill in the information below, the serial number is located on the tag on the rear of your VCR. IMPORTANT: Do not block ventilation holes.

Anyway, don’t worry about that last paragraph, back to the 2023 Adelaide Fridge Festival.

Acts will include comedy, you’ll be laughing at how low the prices are. Theatre, which is quite literally a Kenwood Home Theatre system. And also magic, watch on in amazement as all these bargains disappear out the door.

Also, for festival goers looking for a real shock, be sure to visit our Garden of UNEARTHED Delights, which is basically where we keep all the ungrounded electrical goods. It’s buzzing with atmosphere and also hazardous circuits.

This is real festival and not just a plan for me to sell more fridges. Yes, it would be nice if that happens, for sure, but that’s definitely not my goal here. My goal is to contribute to the growing whitegood related arts and culture scene of the state. But I’m not gonna say ‘no’ to people buying any of the fridges, if that’s what you’re thinking. And you better be thinking about that, and NOT thinking about asking me how I keep the prices so low.

Yes, the Adelaide Fridge Festival promises to be just as exciting as the Adelaide Fringe Festival, but with actually far less second-hand and recycled content.”

Our reviewers gave the Adelaide Fridge Festival opening act Four and a Half stars:

Related Posts

$30bn Santos deal falls through after buyer rocks up to try and collect it in the back of a Corolla

19 September, 2025

19 September, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT The $30 billion takeover of a South Australian oil and gas company Santos has fallen through after the...

AFP raids Adelaide Mail offices only to find Xavier Minniecon

5 June, 2019

5 June, 2019

One year after publishing a damning exposé on the existence of the fictional suburb Kingswood, Australian Federal Police officers have...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Premier calls press conference just to ask “why would anybody want to go to Victoria?”

16 November, 2020

16 November, 2020

Premier Steven Marshall has called a press conference just hours before learning about a growing cluster of COVID-19 cases in...

Fullarton Road servo sells out of these sunnies for some reason

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In what has been described by economists as an unpredicted and alarming spike in demand, a Fullarton Road service station...

Premier’s speech writer now being paid on a Cost-Per-“Flex Up”-Mention basis

5 January, 2022

5 January, 2022

TRENT BARTLETT In a bid to cut costs during South Australia’s post-Freedom Day celebrations, Premier Steven Marshall has moved a...

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

13 August, 2018

13 August, 2018

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns...

To make up for skipping Adelaide, Taylor Swift releases new track “All Two Wells” (SA Version)

14 February, 2024

14 February, 2024

Fresh on her way from the Superbowl afterparty, Taylor Swift’s private jet has touched down about 40 kilometres north of...

90% of new Mortal Kombat movie just CCTV footage from Hindley Street

16 May, 2019

16 May, 2019

Adelaide is set to become a key piece of cinematic history, with the long-awaited follow-up to 1995’s Mortal Kombat to...

Adelaide Mail launches new kids’ alternate news service “Below The News”

4 February, 2022

4 February, 2022

South Australian children have grown tired of being pushed a constant mainstream narrative by the Adelaide produced “Behind The News”...

Heart-warming: Man aims to make Southern Expressway safer by driving 10km’s under limit in right lane

13 November, 2023

13 November, 2023

In an innovative and heart-warming attempt to increase road safety, one unsung local hero, Moe Trist of Seaford Meadows, has...

LIFE HACK: Did you guys know you can just drive up Mount Lofty?

10 August, 2022

10 August, 2022

Hey, so we’re not sure if this is widely known or not, but judging by the amount of people we...

Stirling celebrates record low crime, waste, and vaccination rates

12 December, 2018

12 December, 2018

The Adelaide Hills town of Stirling is celebrating at the end of this year, with statistics showing a trifecta of...

“These cars think they own the road” says ninth cyclist out from the kerb

16 January, 2024

16 January, 2024

Travelling at a blistering speed of 31 k’s per hour through peak hour traffic, a group of middle-aged middle-managers who’ve...

Desperate for a vaccine, people start lining up for Shotz like it’s 2005

26 March, 2020

26 March, 2020

As the world scrambles to find a vaccine for COVID-19, desperate and clearly confused South Australians are looking for anywhere...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading