28 May, 2022

Modbury High graduate furious at suggestion she went to Modbury Heights

It’s been over 15 years since Kelly S. Farm graduated high school to pursue a sticky-tape tester apprenticeship, but there is still one thing that annoys her to no end, the old ‘High vs Heights’ confusion.

At a recent catch up with some girlfriends, one of Kelly’s distant acquaintances asked if she knew Terrance O’Bahnbus, a guy who graduated from the Heights the same year as her.

‘Excuse me? Excuse me?!’ shouted Kelly across the Tea Tree Gully Pokie Room ‘I went to Modbury HIGH! Not Heights! I never went to that shit-hole full of derros, I went to a slightly better shit-hole!’ barely drowning out the Shogun free-spins music.

This bitter, long-lasting rivalry mentality between two schools, which are essentially the same, is little-known outside of the core north-eastern suburbs, with each school willing to admit their school was definitely sub-par, but not nearly as bad as the other.

Well, at least Modbury High didn’t have Caleb Bond. Checkmate

Reports have surfaced that each of the high schools ingrained Rivalry Studies into the curriculum from 1989-2006, an elective subject purely focussed on fostering an unhealthy hatred for the other school, which was apparently stemmed from the particularly nasty 1988 Pedal Prix race.

The Adelaide Mail tracked down Modbury Heights Graduate, Terrance O’Bahnbus, to ask his opinion on the rivalry, to which he stated ‘first off, never heard of Kelly S. Farm, probably a massive gug though if she’s from Modbury High. Everyone knows that school is a dump, it doesn’t even have a run-down observatory that never gets used’.

We asked for a reply from Kelly on these claims, to which she simply responded ‘yeah, well, at least Modbury High didn’t have Caleb Bond. Checkmate’.

Editor’s note: For full disclosure, The Adelaide Mail’s entire staffing profile is made up of one Modbury High graduate and one Modbury Heights graduate. The articles riddled with grammatical errors are written by the Heights graduate. However, the image of Modbury High we have used for this story is taken from a news article about a gun being fired on campus in 2012.

in Life, News
Related Posts

All we want to know about the SkyCity Casino upgrade is if they’ve brought back the horse racing game

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The new upgraded section of the SkyCity Adelaide casino has opened and it seems they’re letting all local media in...

Scottish town opens “South Aussie’s Motel” with giant statue of Darren Jarman

9 February, 2021

9 February, 2021

On the outskirts of Glasgow, the small Scottish town of McDundee has returned the South Australian reverence to Scotland with...

AFP raids Adelaide Mail offices only to find Xavier Minniecon

5 June, 2019

5 June, 2019

One year after publishing a damning exposé on the existence of the fictional suburb Kingswood, Australian Federal Police officers have...

REVEALED: Infrastructure plans to ease traffic on South Eastern Freeway

6 October, 2021

6 October, 2021

With South Eastern Freeway Traffic continually becoming worse, we at the Adelaide Mail have taken it upon ourselves to solve...

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

1 July, 2019

1 July, 2019

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun...

MPs really confused around sudden interest in their ICA Competition

4 September, 2020

4 September, 2020

South Australian MPs have remained tight lipped around a current ICAC (Indoor Cricket Association Competition) investigation. Not because they have...

False Advertising: New South Road plans shows vehicles actually moving

14 December, 2021

14 December, 2021

With the longstanding South Australian tradition of South Road upgrades looking to continue for at least another three generations, the...

These 6 gifs of Keith Martyn are such 2020 mood vibes

29 October, 2020

29 October, 2020

In a genius effort to gain readership from both the gen z and boomer markets, we here at Adelaide Mail...

First stage of Tour Down Under won by lost Uber Eats rider

21 January, 2020

21 January, 2020

Today the Barossa hosted the first men’s stage of the Tour Down Under, a gruelling 150 kilometre slog even for...

Greenhills Adventure Park equipment repurposed for new ‘Greenhill Road Adventure Park’

1 February, 2019

1 February, 2019

After closing over two years ago, Victor Harbor’s biggest attraction and insurance liability Greenhills Adventure Park will have a new...

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

23 January, 2020

23 January, 2020 1

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom...

Bloke in bucket hat heads straight to Maslins bushes for some reason

8 November, 2019

8 November, 2019

A Gawler man has confounded onlookers upon his arrival at Adelaide’s Maslin Beach, appearing wearing a bucket hat, long pants...

Fewer baby girls being named ‘Elizabeth’ in South Australia compared to other states for unknown reason

30 May, 2018

30 May, 2018

Researchers for the University of Adelaide are completely baffled at the newly discovered abnormality of fewer females bearing the name...

Regional dad hopes this Africola place does a good schnitty

22 November, 2018

22 November, 2018

Visiting his graduating son in ‘the big smoke’, Bill Wrangler of Renmark decided to take the family out for a...

Adelaide Metro app update to feature better arrival time accuracy of non-existent buses

12 November, 2018

12 November, 2018

In the largest app update since the ‘randomly crashing’ feature Adelaide Metro has announced the newest app feature for commuters....

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: