13 May, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Modbury High graduate furious at suggestion she went to Modbury Heights

It’s been over 15 years since Kelly S. Farm graduated high school to pursue a sticky-tape tester apprenticeship, but there is still one thing that annoys her to no end, the old ‘High vs Heights’ confusion.

At a recent catch up with some girlfriends, one of Kelly’s distant acquaintances asked if she knew Terrance O’Bahnbus, a guy who graduated from the Heights the same year as her.

‘Excuse me? Excuse me?!’ shouted Kelly across the Tea Tree Gully Pokie Room ‘I went to Modbury HIGH! Not Heights! I never went to that shit-hole full of derros, I went to a slightly better shit-hole!’ barely drowning out the Shogun free-spins music.

This bitter, long-lasting rivalry mentality between two schools, which are essentially the same, is little-known outside of the core north-eastern suburbs, with each school willing to admit their school was definitely sub-par, but not nearly as bad as the other.

Well, at least Modbury High didn’t have Caleb Bond. Checkmate

Reports have surfaced that each of the high schools ingrained Rivalry Studies into the curriculum from 1989-2006, an elective subject purely focussed on fostering an unhealthy hatred for the other school, which was apparently stemmed from the particularly nasty 1988 Pedal Prix race.

The Adelaide Mail tracked down Modbury Heights Graduate, Terrance O’Bahnbus, to ask his opinion on the rivalry, to which he stated ‘first off, never heard of Kelly S. Farm, probably a massive gug though if she’s from Modbury High. Everyone knows that school is a dump, it doesn’t even have a run-down observatory that never gets used’.

We asked for a reply from Kelly on these claims, to which she simply responded ‘yeah, well, at least Modbury High didn’t have Caleb Bond. Checkmate’.

Editor’s note: For full disclosure, The Adelaide Mail’s entire staffing profile is made up of one Modbury High graduate and one Modbury Heights graduate. The articles riddled with grammatical errors are written by the Heights graduate. However, the image of Modbury High we have used for this story is taken from a news article about a gun being fired on campus in 2012.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Torrens NYE “just as good as Darling Harbour” says cash-strapped dad

30 December, 2018

30 December, 2018

Following intensive rallying by his two sons calling for a new year’s eve trip to Sydney, Walton Erudite has made...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

Supercars drivers somehow all leave The Bend on retail traineeship wages

9 May, 2021

9 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Supercars drivers will leave South Australia following this weekend’s race at The Bend looking forward to a bright...

Michael Keelan referred to as Keith Conlon for the last time!

23 September, 2018

23 September, 2018

That’s it, he’s absolutely had it. At first it was funny, sometimes even a little bit flattering, but enough is...

Elizabeth resident lobbies council to change name to Playholden

17 October, 2019

17 October, 2019

As the third anniversary of the closure of the Holden plant at Elizabeth approaches, lifetime local resident Camira Minnet lobbies...

Cosi reveals that he actually secretly fucking hates South Australia

13 October, 2020

13 October, 2020

South Australia’s very own Andrew ‘Cosi ‘South Aussie With Cosi’’ Costello has revealed a little-known fact about himself in a...

Port Elliot millennials start petition to change name of Boomer Beach

22 November, 2019

22 November, 2019

Undertaking the ultimate form of slacktivism, Port Elliot’s entire millennial population (a total of sixteen residents) have started an online...

PETITION: Rename Elizabeth Shopping Centre “Centrals Market”

20 February, 2020

20 February, 2020

A group of vocal Central District Football Club supporters have launched a rather clever (especially for Centrals fans) campaign to...

Vincent Rinaldo very disappointed by this so called ‘Fringe’ Festival

22 February, 2019

22 February, 2019

One of Adelaide’s leading hair and fashion icons, Vincent Rinaldo, has left a scathing review the opening week of the...

Apparently Di from Modbury thinks that shops are only allowed to have one employee each

13 May, 2021

13 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Whenever the state government finds a renewed focus on shop trading hours, it can mean one of two...

Scottish town opens “South Aussie’s Motel” with giant statue of Darren Jarman

9 February, 2021

9 February, 2021

On the outskirts of Glasgow, the small Scottish town of McDundee has returned the South Australian reverence to Scotland with...

No media bias: For every negative Power article, we run at least 0.2 negative Crows articles

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

SHOWDOWN WEEK: It’s often stated that there is a media bias in South Australia when it comes to our AFL...

Superloop gives up, starts referring to itself as ‘Clipsal’

21 February, 2019

21 February, 2019

Before the first Superloop 500 event has even started, the company behind the naming rights has reportedly already given up...

Push to save The Thebby so that bands can continue to skip it on tours

9 July, 2019

9 July, 2019

Rich in tradition, it’s the Adelaide live music venue that has been skipped by thousands of bands on their Australian...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: