12 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for his impending retirement, with the MP telling the Mail he looks forward to treating every day of retirement as if it were his first time on the tram.

The member for Sturt says that he is planning a jam-packed calendar of fun, Mr Bean-esque outings.

Day 1 – “Lunch on Malcolm’s yacht!”

Day 2 – “Quality time with the wife”

Day 3 – “Ride on the yellow, bendy, rail bus again”

Day 4 – “Walk along the big wall”

Day 5 – “Finally get Mickey’s signature”

Day 6 – “Front row seats with Jack Nicklaus”

Day 7 – “I’m not even scared of rollercoasters anymore”

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