20 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for his impending retirement, with the MP telling the Mail he looks forward to treating every day of retirement as if it were his first time on the tram.

The member for Sturt says that he is planning a jam-packed calendar of fun, Mr Bean-esque outings.

Day 1 – “Lunch on Malcolm’s yacht!”

Day 2 – “Quality time with the wife”

Day 3 – “Ride on the yellow, bendy, rail bus again”

Day 4 – “Walk along the big wall”

Day 5 – “Finally get Mickey’s signature”

Day 6 – “Front row seats with Jack Nicklaus”

Day 7 – “I’m not even scared of rollercoasters anymore”

Related Posts

Changes to medi-hotel rules means no more licking guests in quarantine without a permit

25 November, 2020

25 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It has been a tradition in South Australia since the nineteenth century, but one stroke of a pen...

Ingle Farm bachelor applies for ‘Farmer wants a wife’

8 February, 2019

8 February, 2019

Tired of the local dating scene and not being able to find a girl who will settle down, or even...

Mum comments “shared 5162” like her 27 Facebook friends cover all of Morphett Vale

2 October, 2020

2 October, 2020

A Morphett Vale Facebook mum has been hailed as a hero after letting people know she has shared a Facebook...

Stirling celebrates record low crime, waste, and vaccination rates

12 December, 2018

12 December, 2018

The Adelaide Hills town of Stirling is celebrating at the end of this year, with statistics showing a trifecta of...

Adelaide Mail calls for Adelaide Oval to have ONLY Scoreboards and Hills

30 August, 2021

30 August, 2021

With former Liberal MP Christopher Pyne clearly rapidly running out of ideas for things to write about in satirical newspaper...

Has COVID finally gone too far? Now The Planet nightclub is being demolished

27 October, 2020

27 October, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT The COVID-19 pandemic has taken more than its fair share of scalps in South Australia. The West End...

Ingle Farm shopping centre considering radical third Coles store

13 September, 2019

13 September, 2019

Following the success of the populist “A Chicken In Every Pot, Two Coles in Every Mall” plan, Ingle Farm Shopping...

Fun Fact: TTP actually stands for ‘That Terrible Place’

21 August, 2020

21 August, 2020

“WhY iS tHe rEtAiL sEcToR fAiLiNg?”: It is a little known fact that the north-eastern shopping centre was initially named...

Advertiser finance editor absolutely qualified to review Fringe shows

4 March, 2019

4 March, 2019

As tightening budgets continue to put pressure on satirical newspaper The Advertiser’s shrinking newsroom, the annual festival season has once...

Collingwood given all-clear to play as long as they promise not to touch the footy

2 June, 2021

2 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT In an eleventh-hour decision, South Australian authorities have given Collingwood players and staff an exemption to travel into...

Township of Gawler produces another tradie

20 June, 2019

20 June, 2019

After committing hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars to a town-wide search, the northern Adelaide township of Gawler has...

Cunningham’s Warehouse guy comes out of retirement to spruik OTR petrol

21 October, 2021

21 October, 2021

With premium petrol prices rising to $2 a litre this week, Geoff Winter, the 1990’s South Australian variety store commercial...

Oakbank Racing Club releases At-Home Horse Euthanasia Kit for those missing the Easter carnival

12 April, 2020

12 April, 2020

Organisers of the annual Oakbank Easter Carnival are looking at novel ways to give punters a way to enjoy all...

UniSA mature-aged student puts hand up again

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

eaking: 12 students from UniSA’s Magill campus are believed to have spent the last seven hours locked in a tutorial room after their course’s resident mature-aged student began raising her hand to quiz her tutor on a raft of trivial questions.

PAC old scholar furious at suggestion he went to Saints

10 September, 2018

10 September, 2018

An enraged former student of Adelaide’s prestigious Prince Alfred College has slammed suggestions that he attended the equally-esteemed St Peter’s...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading