18 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Goolwa Line Electrified

DAN SCHMIDT

Whilst the SteamRanger Cockle Train has always been a reliable mode of public transport for Middleton residents commuting to their office jobs in the hustling metropolis of Port Elliot, commuters were shocked to find that the steam train had been made electric as of yesterday morning.

It appears that the major transport project was picked up by a Fleurieu Peninsula resident who, unsurprisingly, was hard of hearing and mistook ‘Gawler’ for ‘Goolwa’.

‘I think someone got their wires crossed’ said rail commuter Victor Harbor resident Elle Durley ‘And I mean that quite literally, some of the electrical wires touched each other and it messed up operations for a while. I ended up being late to my 4pm dinner at The Crown’.

However, aside from some early teething issues (we also mean that literally, multiple sets of dentures were found left on the carriage seats) commuters seem pleased with the changes.

‘It’s probably quieter’, said Elle ‘but to be honest I couldn’t notice the difference’.

Adelaide Mail reporters initially planned to take a test ride on the new electrified Goolwa line, but missed the train as they were lining up at Port Elliot Bakery during the long weekend. We will provide a full report of the train’s operations after we’ve got to the front of the line, which we estimate will be at some point in July 2023.

Related Posts

New reality TV series to be set in Barossa – “Tanundacover Boss”

5 February, 2021

5 February, 2021

As more commercial television content continues to be produced locally, there is one new series that certainly begs the question...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas settles for Parabanks gig again

1 December, 2019

1 December, 2019

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

State Liberals sign sponsorship deal with Dulux in attempt to whitewash their reputation

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

With their reputation already facing questions thanks to former Liberal MP Sam ‘Wandering Hands’ Duluk, the South Australian Liberal Party...

South Australians tipped to consume $3bn worth of Zooper Doopers today

24 January, 2019

24 January, 2019

While many today will be doing their best to not think about just how high the mercury is expected to...

Adelaide’s Top 5 Instagram Accounts

1 June, 2021

1 June, 2021

Look, we’re too lazy and unfunny to come up with a new hilarious headline for you all today. So we...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

Keith Conlon announced as new drummer for I Killed The Prom Queen

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

In a bold new move by Adelaide’s metalcore kings I Killed The Prom Queen, the announcement of veteran radio broadcaster...

Fresh from Vegas warm-up show, U2 set to perform out the front of that Rundle Lantern thing

2 October, 2023

2 October, 2023

TRENT BARTLETT Following on from a Las Vegas warm-up show, Irish “rockers” U2 have landed in Adelaide for their showpiece...

Big Red Car mag wheels stolen at Elizabeth City Centre

31 October, 2018

31 October, 2018

Disappointed children and slightly relieved parents have arrived at Elizabeth Shopping Centre to find the multi-coloured mag wheels stolen from...

Australia-US tensions ease as LAPD also shoot Kane Cornes with rubber bullet

11 June, 2025

11 June, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT In a symbolic gesture of reconciliation, the Los Angeles Police Department has reportedly fired a rubber bullet at...

P-Plater fined for NOT doing burnout at Golden Grove Hungry Jack’s Drive-Thru

25 February, 2021

25 February, 2021

The day after a man has been arrested for doing a burnout at a southern suburbs Hungry Jack’s, another similar...

Crows fan now hoping for losses just to keep Power out of finals

22 July, 2022

22 July, 2022

Seventy eight year old Karen DeKrowes has been a passionate Adelaide Crows Junior Member for many years, but is now...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

11 November, 2019

11 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading