20 April, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

South Australia’s Top 10 WAGS

DAN SCHMIDT

As a news outlet run by two men, we at the Adelaide Mail find nothing more enjoyable and appropriate than judging and ranking women based on their looks, who they are married to, and their amount of instagram followers.

However, since News Corp beat us to press with that piece yesterday, we’ve adapted our strategy slightly.

Here are South Australia’s Top 10 Wags:

10. Freddie The Welshie

Look at this wagger in a Bunno’s trolley. Good wag.

9. Morty The Pug

Having a wag on the beach. Good Morty.

8. Maggie The Pug

We’re just here to play Maggie and Morty off against each other to be honest.

7. Pippa Alfie

A good old wag in the forest. Nothing better than that, bonus points for the bandana. Good Pippa.

6. Zero The Maltypoo

Customs found zero contraband in my luggage, just a good little wag.

5. Mavis The Border Terrier

Nothing makes Mavis wag more than a good teddy. Also, all these accounts have more instagram followers than the Adelaide Mail. Please follow us, it’s getting embarrassing.

4. Gigi The Italian Greyhound

Bedtime makes us wag too. Go you good Gigi.

3. Mack The Berner

When just a wag of the tail won’t do, you need a full body wag. Top wagging Mack. 11/10.

2. Year 10 Geography class at Modbury High circa 2001

It was the class before lunch and Mrs. Shields didn’t even do a roll call, best class to wag. Just went to Damo’s house around the corner and drank his dad’s scotch. Good wag.

1. Dexter

The undisputed best wag in South Australia as deemed by our completely impartial and unbiased judges.

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