26 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

This ALDI cookware is such a bargain you’ll almost forget about Australia’s history of systemic racism

TRENT BARTLETT

What a glorious year under the good graces of the ALDI gods it has been. Just when we thought 2020 could not get any better, those magnificent German bastards have gone ahead and over-ordered a range of French cast iron cookware.

And of course it’s a bargain! It’s such a bargain that it will nearly make you forget about Australian’s history of systemic racism.

Sure, we’ll admit it. We’ve devoted at least two stories a week on our website to ALDI’s Special Buys, and while you might think that we’re getting some sort of kickback for such shameless pandering, we’re not. In fact, stories about ALDI’s Special Buys are the only ones that you mongrels click on anymore.

I mean, we assume it’s the only thing you’ll click on. We haven’t really tried much else. We did almost publish an article about Australia’s treatment of asylum seekers back in 2018, but then we got a press release about how Coles were going to bring back the Pick ‘N’ Mix to their Tea Tree Plaza store so we ran with that.

But come on, they’re selling a Dutch Oven for just twenty bucks or something! ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING TO US?!?

It is a massive saving! This particular Dutch Oven would usually sell for $369.00. That’s a saving of over 90 per cent. To put that into perspective, Indigenous Australians have accounted for around 35 per cent of all deaths in custody in Australia since 1991*.

What a bargain. If that doesn’t make you forget that 432 Indigenous Australians have died while in custody since 1991, then we’re just not sure what will.

*Despite only making up 3.3 per cent of Australia’s population.

Editor’s note: No, this is not only a South Australian story. And yes, this is something that we should have been paying more attention to for a long time. But if we don’t talk about this now, then when do we talk about it? Now is not the time to look on at another country’s situation and claim the moral high ground.

Related Posts

Ian Perrie also rejects AFL Hall Of Fame honour in solidarity and because he wasn’t offered

11 June, 2021

11 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Adelaide Crows superstar forward Ian Perrie has become the second Australian football legend to turn down the honour...

South Australian banned from returning to Adelaide from Victoria Square

31 July, 2020

31 July, 2020

Alrighty. Strap yourselves in readers, because with a headline like that, this is surely going to be a pretty poor...

We’re not convinced Kingswood is a real suburb either

10 July, 2018

10 July, 2018

While we’d be the first to admit that we’ve not looked into this too closely, we’re just not ready to...

Australia-US tensions ease as LAPD also shoot Kane Cornes with rubber bullet

11 June, 2025

11 June, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT In a symbolic gesture of reconciliation, the Los Angeles Police Department has reportedly fired a rubber bullet at...

Old Tailem Town offers an accurate portrayal of life in South Australian country towns (in 2020)

14 September, 2020

14 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s favourite family attraction within an 80-minute drive, south-east of the city is (since Puzzle Park closed)...

False Advertising: New South Road plans shows vehicles actually moving

14 December, 2021

14 December, 2021

With the longstanding South Australian tradition of South Road upgrades looking to continue for at least another three generations, the...

Government shocked when video of weeping man doesn’t encourage tourists to flock to SA

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

A baffling marketing campaign featuring an elderly man weeping as he toured throughout South Australia’s tourism hot spots has been...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas settles for Parabanks gig again

1 December, 2019

1 December, 2019

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

Power fan really hopes those photos from 1993 never resurface

16 October, 2020

16 October, 2020 1

1993, it was a simpler time. No social media, you could still smoke on public transport (well you weren’t meant...

Police QR code blitz enabling that one high school mate to go full Pete Evans-mode on Facebook

17 May, 2021

17 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT When South Australian Police stopped Con Spiros just inside the door of Adelaide’s classiest venue, the Skycity Casino,...

‘Fool me 47 times, shame on you’ say Crows as they draft new Victorian

28 November, 2019

28 November, 2019

Adelaide Football Club’s recruitment team are all smiles this morning, emerging from the first leg of the 2019 AFL Draft...

Facebook mum who comments “Wear are there parents?” on every other Advertiser post also a shitty parent

5 September, 2022

5 September, 2022

Constantly outraged Fay Sprooke of Evanston has once again spent a great deal of her day getting all high and...

Bowden plant sale customer will definitely keep them alive this time

6 May, 2019

6 May, 2019

Serial houseplant murderer Juniper Cortisol may have a track record in buying and subsequently killing all of her previous houseplants,...

Adelaide’s Top 5 Instagram Accounts

1 June, 2021

1 June, 2021

Look, we’re too lazy and unfunny to come up with a new hilarious headline for you all today. So we...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading