18 March, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

New “Farmers Onion” Iced Coffee flavour only popular with one man

In a bold new move by South Australia’s highest selling beverage company, the new Farmer’s Union, “Farmer’s Onion” Iced Coffee flavour has been released, with extremely low initial sales.

The new Farmers Onion drink was an initiative to support the State’s Onion Farmers, combining the classic Iced Coffee Flavour with raw South Australian onions.

Sales figures have however indicated that only one person is continually purchasing Farmer’s Onion Iced Coffee

‘It’s all about creating local jobs’, said Farmer’s Union spokesperson Dianne Beaties ‘we heard the onion industry was struggling with drought conditions, so we thought what better way to boost the economy than releasing a limited edition “Farmer’s Onion” drink’.

Sales figures have however indicated that only one person is continually purchasing Farmer’s Onion Iced Coffee, with all sales either being in the electorate of Warringah, New South Wales, or certain corner delis around Canberra.

In order to undertake some investigative journalism, Adelaide Mail attempted to gain some cartons Farmer’s Onion Iced Coffee to sample free of charge, but our efforts did not prevail and we were just accused of “ripping off the onion”.

However, our sources state it still tastes better than that Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee Edge.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Rohan Neagle for submitting this headline idea, he’s a huge supporter of us for some reason and therefore probably a nice enough guy.

Related Posts

SA Liberals also announce free house for every South Australian under new “Doesn’t Matter, We’re Not Getting Elected Anyway” policy

6 November, 2025

6 November, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT The South Australian Liberal Party have announced a generous new housing policy which would see all South Australians...

Following Oz Comic-Con, Polites estate launch Oz Conic-Con, which is just a bunch of nerds dressing as Con Polites for 2 days

3 June, 2025

3 June, 2025

In a move that some are labelling as “crying out for litigation” and asbestos-adjacent,” the Polites family has launched new...

Local tweaker very disappointed with “OG Speed Shop”

29 July, 2020

29 July, 2020

Local jaw-clenching and awake enthusiast, Aymon DeGear has voiced his disappointment with a Klemzig service station, claiming they are falsely...

OPINION: Politicians never lie about sources of income, pizza bar workers could learn from them

24 November, 2020

24 November, 2020

SEBASTIAN BOLD On Friday last week, a politician was furious, absolutely furious that somebody in the state of South Australia...

Netflix to release Last Dance sequel about another team’s 97-98 former glory

17 May, 2020

17 May, 2020

As ‘The Last Dance’ documentary series about the 1997-1998 Chicago Bulls wraps up, Netflix has announced another series will be...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

Harvard and Yale students break out their Flinders and UniSA hoodies as season changes

27 September, 2023

27 September, 2023

As the weather begins to drop in the United States, students from prestigious colleges in America’s north-east are busting out...

Government throws the best ever foam party on the Glenelg shore

3 October, 2025

3 October, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT Crowds flocked to Glenelg this week after the South Australian Government announced it would no longer refer to...

Masks mandates for Adelaide public transport to return because you’re all ugly and stink

30 September, 2022

30 September, 2022

One week after the requirement for masks to be worn on public transport was lifted, it has been decided that...

Stephan Knoll offers to wash dad’s car and do more chores to pay off $30,000 debt

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s Transport Minister Stephan Knoll landed himself in a bit of mischief this week by accidentally and...

“I’m not into drama” says woman subscribed to 27 Tea Tree Gully Facebook Groups

25 February, 2022

25 February, 2022

Anne Steze-Hill proudly proclaims she is not one for drama, however her dependence on local neighbourhood facebook group discussion may...

Heart-warming: Man aims to make Southern Expressway safer by driving 10km’s under limit in right lane

13 November, 2023

13 November, 2023

In an innovative and heart-warming attempt to increase road safety, one unsung local hero, Moe Trist of Seaford Meadows, has...

Chunky Custard to be inducted into SA’s Rock n Roll Hall of Lame

11 October, 2018

11 October, 2018

Since the early 90’s, cover band Chunky Custard have been donning the zany wigs, crazy costumes and slightly outdated references....

More like “Slowa Pasta” says local comedic genius

9 August, 2019

9 August, 2019

As a group of friends decided to treat themselves 1998’s best dining experience, little did they know what was in...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading